Call Me A Mess.
PROLOGUE
I was only half listening to the music that had started playing.
'As long as the clock keeps ticking, you'll go wherever the wind blows.'
Yeah, right- If he were the weather God.
People accused me sometimes. Of having trapped myself, of creating problems that didn't exist. But wasn't that- I was trapped. But not because I'd burnt too many bridges, but because my bridges had been taken from me. I had nothing, nothing at all of value, or meaning that was rightfully mine, or at least, couldn't easily be taken away from me.
They had me trapped. I didn't do it to myself. There I was, contemplating ways to get kicked out, or to just leave, yet I knew that I had nowhere to go, and nothing to take with me. It was like my life had been planned out for me. The only freedom I had in making decisions was created by sacrificing every day freedoms, most often the freedom of speech. It wasn't so much back-chatting that I cared about not being allowed to do. I'd deem it explaining. God forbid I ever prove I wasn't in the wrong.
It had quite literally become "shut up or put up". I can't believe I let it get that far. I can't believe anyone let it get that far. I had no way out anymore. My only way out involved leaving everything and everyone I love, all the things and people I couldn't live without, behind. I really don't know whether that doesn't exclude it from the (pathetically small) list of "possibilities". I was sick of it; I didn't know what to do anymore. Everyone looked forward to the future, because they'd finally be free. But I feared the future, more than anything. I guess I just snapped.
>><<
ONE.
"Breathe," I heard them say, "Just breathe."
But every breath from then on was being suffocated by the sobs. The tears felt cold on my face and I soon stopped trying to speak- I was just choking on every single word.
"You'll be fine, just breathe."
I could hear the sounds, but the words lost all meaning. I opened my eyes, just in time to see you fade, and become nothing more than a blurry silhouette. I felt your tears on my hand, as you grasped it tight and held it to your face. I felt your lips, softly touching it, and the nothingness began to hurt.
I gathered all my strength, and heard the faintest touch of my voice as I mouthed "I'm sorry."
Our fingers still intertwined, I ever-so-lightly ran my thumb across yours, and closed my eyes.
I could hear the distant sound of your voice, screaming for help, screaming at them for doing this to me, and I think I heard you say my name. You scooped me up into your arms, my head resting softly against your chest. And that was it.
>><<
I don't know how long it was until I woke up, but you were still there. Or there again, I wouldn't know. But my mind had no recollection of you.
"Who are you?" I whispered.
I saw pain in your eyes, and I knew I should have remembered. But I didn't.
"You uhm... you don't remember?" he replied.
I slowly shook my head.
"I'm Luke. I just moved in a couple houses down from you. We met a few days ago."
"Really?"
You nodded, slightly. You were hurt I didn't remember you, I could tell. But come to think of it...
