Forty-Five.
BEC'S POINT OF VIEW.
I didn't open my eyes when you stopped talking. I kept them shut, my head lightly rested against yours, trying to keep that picture in my mind. I wanted to remember, so badly. But at least now, when you told me the story, I could feel it. I suppose that was a start.
"What happened then?" I whispered.
"Well, we saw each other again a couple of days later. We had lunch, and then walked around for a while. Then we sat under the cherry tree in your backyard talking until dark."
"Hmmm..." I wanted you to go on. The feelings came back, and I could see it all.
"It was that night that it became an impossibility in my mind to never see you again. The urge to hold you and kiss you and run my fingers through your hair became almost uncontrollable. It was the best night, ever..."
I smiled as you ran your hands through my hair and kissed me softly as you spoke.
"I saw you one more time after that. It was a coincidence, though. It was night time, and you were really upset, and..." Your voice broke.
I could guess what was coming now. I still didn't remember, but this would be the bit where you explain what happened to make me wake up in hospital; who knows how many hours or days later. You swallowed hard.
"You broke down. I never even found out why. I don't think you even knew."
I opened my eyes, and cupped your face in both my hands. You looked up at me, tears in your eyes. I wiped them away with my thumb.
"I'm so grateful. I wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for you. Yes, I'm an absolute mess. But I'm getting better, and this is nothing to what I would've been without you."
You shook your head and smiled.
"You would've been fine. You're one of the strongest people I have ever met. You'd be just here, just not with me - not that I'm complaining."
"But this is the only place I want to be." I smiled and paused. "I love you."
And I kissed you, and you kissed me back. And words became superfluous and the various containers of Chinese takeaway, and remaining fortune cookies were forgotten on the table; ready to be eaten cold for breakfast the next morning.
&&&.
My eyes shot wide open around three that night. I finally remembered. I didn't need to remember what had happened between you and me anymore; your version of it had put my mind to rest. Instead, my mind spent my sleep-time trying to remember what you didn't know. And it succeeded.
"Luke," I nudged you. "Luke, wake up."
You grumbled sleepily and turned around.
"What?" You rubbed your eyes.
"I remember."
"Huh?"
"I remember what happened the day I broke down. That day I went to hospital. I remember."
And suddenly you were wide awake. You sat up, and so did I. I crossed my legs and faced you, seeing only your silhouette and the faint contours of your face in the dark. But that didn't matter, I could see you eyes wide open, I felt the anticipation.
"I went to an art gallery that day. I don't really know why. I think I'd seen an ad for this photography exhibition in the paper some days beforehand, and photography had been an on and off thing of mine. More off than on, but you know."
