Epilogue.
Life had finally settled down again I realised as I hung a rather interesting and unique array of ornaments onto a big, lush pine tree Tom had gotten from the markets earlier that day; around a week before Christmas. The apartment smelt of cookies and eggnog - courtesy of yours and Tom's combined efforts in the kitchen - and, of course, Christmas tree. I'd moved in with you and Tom in late November. After I'd been spending more and more time in your apartment and less and less time in mine, you'd asked me to move in with the two of you. Harry had, meanwhile, moved on - Scotland or Ireland or something up there I think - so there was a spare room. Looking around, it was the best decision of my life. I loved living with the two of you. Tom had become a good friend of mine, and the three of us shared a lot of laughter and fun times. Living with people was better than living alone, I was quickly realising.
Fidgeting with the little, star-shaped crystal ornament in my hand I turned to the big window, and looked out over the city. It was snowing, and the moon made every little flake glisten like a star as it fell onto rooftops, streetlamps and sidewalks. The full moon lit up the whole place, placing Manchester in a magical sort of glow.
I'd made it through the year. I knew that somewhere in the depths of the deep blue night sky, there were two approving souls smiling down on me as that thought crossed my mind - I'd made it. In fact, I'd done more than just survive. This had been by far the hardest year of my life, and it would be for quite some time - if not ever - but I'd gotten through it. I'd learnt from it even. I became a much better person. I found myself. I found home. Seeing the rooftop we danced on that night, I couldn't help but smile. I'd fallen in love.
Mum and Benn were never going to come back. Nor was I ever going to stop at least partially blaming myself for what happened to Benn. But I was going to live with it, and it wasn't going to be an omnipresent, overwhelming thing right in the forefront of my mind. Benn made a decision - and as much as I didn't agree with it, and as much as I wish he'd made a different one, it was his choice to make; not mine. And I had to live with that too. As to Mum? I'd eventually begun talking to Dad and Kate again, and while we were far from close, we were on civil terms. He treated me more like an adult now, and I was slowly losing resentment for him. We talked every now and then, and I'd be seeing them some time over the holidays. He'd told me where Mum was buried. Now, you and I went there every week to put fresh flowers down, and sometimes speak to her. The picture of her and I had been replaced by the picture Grace gave me of Benn and myself, and moved from my bedside table into the living room, to join a few others on the entertainment unit.
Your arms wrapped around me from behind, and you kissed the side of my face.
"Guess who's finally eighteen tomorrow?" You whispered.
I smiled. Another reason I loved the holiday season - my birthday. You scooped me up into your arms and spun me around, before putting me down and kissing me on the lips.
"I love you."
"I love you too." And I'd never meant it more.
"Cut the lovey-dovey crap." Tom threw a cookie at us.
"Hey!" You laughed and walked to the kitchen to dip the cookie in the eggnog and eat it.
I hung the last ornament in my hand on the tree, and threw some tinsel on it - just to destroy my so far fairly neat work and turn our Christmas tree into one big, colourful mess that may as well have been created by a five year old. You and Tom shook your heads and smiled, before we all moved to the couch to spend the night watching TV.
Sitting between the two of you, under a big cosy blanket, nibbling on cookies and sipping eggnog, I was nothing but happy. It had been a hard year, yes. The hardest, actually. But in another way, it had been the best year of my life - because I'd learned how to live.
