Thank You

Chapter 11: When will you learn?

I woke up once again from a loud bang on my door, the rhythm sounded angry and aggressive. I threw the covers off and ran over to the door.

 "Yes?" It was Commander Erwin. It was late at night and it seemed like everyone was still asleep. I must've only been sleeping for a few minutes.

His face was now bright red and facing away from me, "Cadet (L/N), please put on pants. "

Oh. Fuck. I looked down and noticed my legs were bare and I was in my underwear and my night shirt. "YES COMMANDER" I slam the door in his face and ran over to get some attire and tripped over my blanket strewn across the floor.  

"Is everything okay in there, Cadet?"  He knocked on the door again and I could here his muffled voice, almost like he was pressing his face against my door.

"Y-Yes s-" I tripped once again but this time on the corner of my vanity. "AGH! MOTHER OF MARIA THAT FUCKING HURT!" I tried to breathe through the pain and suffering and carefully tried to put on pants. I banged my head on the corner and my head began to throb rhythmically.  

"Did you fall, Cadet?" Erwin knocked on the door again.

"NO I DIDN'T! I'M JUST SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU COMMANDER ERWIN!!" I felt a warm liquid rush down my forehead and into my eye. 

I got up, ignored what ever was going on with my head and opened to door slowly. " Let's try this again. Hello Commander. Good Morning" I tried faking a smile but I couldn't. My face was twitching and my head was still thumping rapidly. 

"Cadet, your forehead is bleeding. And it's late at night."

"This? 'Tis nothing but a flesh wound!!!"

Erwin just looked at me with confusion and then decided to throw me over his shoulder. "Alright, up you go."

I was half conscious and I just blinked, " Up I go"

Before I could even hear Erwin's response I passed out.

I woke up to a warm splash of liquid on my face and I sprung up "HOLY SHIT I'M DROWNING" I must've scared Erwin because he just dropped the bucket of water he was holding all over me and then I was really drowning.

"Ah, Cadet. You startled me." He calmly picked the bucket off of my corpse and and sat down next to me. "You need proper training. You're too clumsy. You concern me. You're still as clumsy as ever. " 

I sat up and tried to cough the water out of my lungs. " I'm perfectly coordinated. And don't be so casual when I almost died."

Erwin raised an eyebrow at me and put a hand on his thigh," Uh yeah...and Corporal Levi is 6'2"

I snorted the water that was in my nose and laughed. "Commander Erwin!"

He just shrugged. " Honestly though. You're not very careful. I shall request you get special training. In a padded room or wear a bubble wrapped suit. You never changed, did you?"

" Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" I was looking for a towel to dry my hair off with but ended up drying my hair with Erwin's jacket. I quickly put it down to hide it but he caught me.

"Cadet what are you doing?"

"N-nothing. I was just looking at your jacket." I tried to fold it so the wet side was facing down.

" Yeah, and what do you think of it?" He chuckled at my stupid lie.

"You're very large." Large? I laughed awkwardly. 

I could almost feel his eye twitch, "What?" Yeah me too Erwin. He seemed confused but his eyes told me he was uncomfortable. 

I had to fix this. I was making an ass out of myself in front of my hero. "Not that you're fat. Y-you're actually very muscular." Just then...I felt it. I made it so much worse.

Erwin didn't move for a good three minutes. I got so worried so I tried to fix it again, " I was just guessing. Considering how large this jacket is, I'm guessing you're pretty wide-set. " I chuckled nervously but I wanted to die so severely. This was so God damn awkward. "You look very attractive in it" 

Erwin put his head down and spoke slowly and in a deep tone, "Oh really? You think I'm attractive?"

OH SHIT! ABORT MISSION CODE RED CODE RED. I MADE IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH WORSE!!! "Uh...well..yeah...doesn't every girl?" WHAT AM I DOING!?!??!

Erwin got up but didn't look up, "No. I've never even been in a relationship." AAAGHHHHH OH MY GOODGREATGRAVY THIS IS BADDDDD!!!! He looked really ashamed of himself. Did I just embarrass Commander Erwin Smith!?!?!

" Oh. Well that's surprising." I am just fucking everything up so I decided to make things so much more awkward.  " Well, if I was closer to your age I'd love to date you.." OMG WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?!?

Erwin stopped dead in his tracks and spun around on his heels to look straight at me. " Are you flirting with me Cadet (L/N)?"

YES...?? "NO SIR!! I WAS JUST SAYING THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU AND THAT ANY GIRL WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU!!!"

He laughed...loud. " You're funny, Cadet. Real funny." He just kept laughing and every time he looked at me he laughed harder.

OKAY THIS IS SO NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HAPPEN!

He sat back down next to me calmly and opened a book he took off of his nightstand. "Well, nonetheless, I appreciate your compliment, Cadet." He crossed one leg over the other and took a pair of eyeglasses off the nightstand. "Do you like to read, (Y/N)?" He slipped the glasses on and narrowed his eyes in my direction.

"Not anymore. My parents made me read so much that I just hate it now. It only reminds me of bad memories." I fold my hands in my lap and lay back on the bed. The pillow was a bit stiff and made a weird squishing noise when I laid down on it.

"Oh? I see, well then you've been reading all the wrong books. Reading is the key to everything. When you read, no one can imagine the kind of places it takes you to." His words were all calm and composed. He must really love to read. It was almost calming the way he sat and scanned the book. "Why, I think I've read this very book about twelve times. It's amazing."  He closed back up and placed it back down on the nightstand.

"You must love reading." I was blushing, but I wasn't hiding it anymore. I enjoyed it  when he talked about things he liked. Seeing him happily rejoice about all the books he's ever read always will put a smile on me. I could listen to him talk about books for hours.

"I do. Ever since I was a child. I lived in a library so that's all I really could do. My parents always thought I was odd because I never put a book down. Well..my parent always thought negatively of me but I never minded it. I just wanted to read. That's all I did, was read. When my mother died, I read. When my father kicked me out of the house at 16, I took all of the books I could and read them." He slid the glasses back off and folded them.

I nodded, listening intensely to every word he was saying. I was making direct eye contact with him now. "I see. You must have a lot."

"Of books? Yes. I don't recall a book that I haven't read yet." He chuckled. "I think that I've read about everything there is to read."

I was uncontrollably smiling like an idiot. He saw this and smiled back. "What's so amusing?"

I caught myself and immediately erased my smile. "Ah, nothing. It's just..I like hearing you talk about the things you like."

He smiled a bit longer then got up. "Well, time for you to leave now Cadet. It's been real fun talking with you but I have work to do." He went over towards the door and opened it. "Good evening, (Y/ N)."

His tone wasn't malicious. It was sincere, and a bit lonely. "G-Good night, Erwin." I gathered myself and walked out, gripping at my shirt. I heard the door shut behind me. Did he really want me to leave?

I thought about how upset he was when he told me to leave. His eyes were lying as his mouthed spouted truth. I thought about the way he looked at me all the way back to my room.