Laylis & Jason

Chapter Fifteen

Ugh! I can't believe Laylis. Why would she keep that from me? It's just like when mom died. It was a normal day, when I was 7. "Mom! I want some cake!" I cried. "No, honey, It's for my birthday. You have to wait." She said. Her voice, it was so soft and caring. Never did I hear her raise her voice. Her birthday was just three days away.

"But I want some cake now!" I said, preparing to throw a fit. "Ok. Little Bugger! I'll go make some more cake." She said with a smile. She opened the cabinet to find no cake mix. "I'm sorry, baby. There's no cake mix." She tried to explain. "Aww." I said. I knew my mom well.

I knew if I pouted she would go and get some. And being a 7-Year old brat, I did. "Okay, I'll go get some," she said. "Dave, watch Jay." "Ok." Dad replied. My mom nicknamed me Jay, and she was the only one to ever call me it. She went out to get the cake mix but did not come back that day.

A day later, a man came to our door, and talked to dad. When he came back he was crying. "Dad, is mom ok? Is she coming home?" He looked me in the eye and answered. "Yes, mommy's just busy right now. It'll be ok." He said as he hugged me tightly.

Soon, my dad would work longer hours and a week and 4 days later, my dad's sister, my aunt, came over. When she came, I had to leave the room when they talked. It had been weeks since mom came home so I eavesdropped.

"Why do you need me, Dave?" "Elly, Elizabeth died. And I need some help aro-" "Mom's dead?" I said, bursting into the room. "Is that why she has not come home?" My dad looked at me, in the eye. With a surprised look, just as sad. "Yes. Mom is dead. It's best you know now." He answered.

"Dave." "No, it's time." He urged. "Elly, mom died in a car crash. The day she didn't come home." "When were you going to tell me?" I asked. Then it hit me. I killed mom. When I pouted, knowing she would go out, I killed mom. Over cake mix. I killed mom.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried. "It's ok son. It's not your fault." Dad said, trying to console me with a hug. "No! Mom went out to get cake mix for me! It's my fault! I killed mom!" I screamed as I pushed my dad away and ran to my room.

I sat in my room for days. My dad would ask me to come out, but I wouldn't. A week later, I came out for food, and the following day went to school. All day at school, when people talked to me they were all saying sorry. But for what? I killed mom!

One day, one kid on the playground said sorry for my mom's death. And I punched him. I started hurting anyone who said that. I was suspended from schools, and moved place to place because of. When I was ten. I had a plan for life. One day, after school, I'd just. Disappear. No one needed me.

I was broken, and I killed my mom, over cake mix nonetheless. Maybe I'd find her when I had disappeared in a better place. Like my dad said. I put off the plan till my close friend learnt about my history and said he was sorry for my mom's death. He was my only friend. My last reason to live. Now gone.

I had moved and ended up here, resuming my life plan, until one faithful day. Laylis changed all that. She was different, somehow. I didn't know why. She just was. I struggled to become her friend, and in hindsight, don't know why. After we exchanged schedules, we could have been done. I could have continued my plan. But I pushed. Why?

I became friends with her and became part of her life. I left mine behind, and the bad memories with it. Laylis, Nathan, they all gave me a purpose. And even though things are rough some times, I always come back. She gave me a new life, and I spent it doing whatever I could to keep it.

But I guess after all, they are all the same. Why do they keep the truth from me? I told her the truth. My dad could have told me instead of lying. Why am I always the last to know? After all I did for her, after all I told her, the only time she would tell me that is when she is talking to my dad? Obviously this was a one sided relationship.

From day one I was the one to reach out. And it seemed it was no good. All the trouble I encountered, just to learn she was the same as them. I guess I pursued her because she was my last chance at redemption. My last chance to reach out.

Well, I guess that's it. Time to resume with my plan. It was fun while it lasted. But, one day, I'll disappear completely from her life. She won't remember me. Nor will Nathan. I went to my room and took off the charm bracelet.

For the rest of the week, Laylis did not speak to me, face to face, but did try to call me. I didn't answer. I ignored her, and took a longer path home to avoid her house. And whenever she tried to talk to me at my house, I had my dad tell her I was not home.

"What happened, son? You were so happy..." He asked. "Nothing, dad." I said and then went back into my room. Soon she would stop. They all do after a while.

Maybe my true fate was to live a life of solitude. Mom, I'm coming. I'll be with you one day, just wait.