Passion

Chapter 8

The next morning at school, I hung out with Ryan again. Tomas hung out with Amanda and Ashlyn; Alisha came up to me "Hey girlfriend, heard you'll be our captain next year." I looked up at her "I'm moving next year." She sat down on the bench "Not what Tomas told Jayden, you should stay, you'd be a better captain for us, not Jordyn but unfortunately, we have to live with it till the end of the year." I smirked "He has his way of trying to convince me to stay."

She jumped up and walked over to Jayden who was with Tomas "He cares about you, see you at practice." Ryan started laughing, I looked at him "What?" He shook his head "He cares about you, but he's with the skank of the school, I hardly believe that. He'd be with you if he did." I chuckled "It's all a setup, I'm positive that's coming from him, not Alisha." He gently grabbed my arm and stood up "Let's go to the field to hang out away from the drama."

I stood up and let him lead me; we hung out in the field behind the school. I looked at my phone, and Tomas text me "Where'd you go?" I replied, "Oh so now you'll talk to me? After ignoring me all morning." The bell rang, and we headed to class; Tomas pulled me aside before I went into the class "I wasn't ignoring you." I didn't want to look at him "You don't need to lie to me. I get it, your girlfriend wants your full attention and you don't want to hurt her feelings."

I went into the class, and he followed me through the desks "I don't care about her, I told you that last night." I stopped and faced him "Yeah before you got what you wanted." I sat down at my desk "I didn't use you. Everything that happened last night was true and honest. You aren't a toy to me."

The teacher came in "Good morning class." Tomas sat down at his desk, Ryan came in a little bit late after the last bell. As the teacher was explaining problems to us, I couldn't focus; I glanced at Tomas who wasn't paying attention either. He tossed a note on my desk, I slowly opened it and read it, it said "I fucked up, I should've broken up with her first."

I crumpled it up, got up, threw it in the trash, and walked out of the classroom, the teacher hollered at me but I kept on walking. I hung out in the counselor's office until lunch came around, I sat in front of the school by myself while I listened to music. I sat with my legs crossed and moved my fingers like I was playing the piano to the song I was listening to.

I looked up and noticed Kylie talking to Amanda, I looked around for Tomas but he was nowhere near them, I looked to my left to notice Ryan walking toward me, he jumped up on the wall and sat with his legs crossed in front of me "Why are you by yourself?" I took out my headphone "Just don't feel like being around drama right now." He placed his hand on my hand "Don't let him get to you, like most guys he's trying to make you jealous. Honestly childish that he's doing that."

I stretched my shoulders forward "It's sad because you are right." He bit his lip "You deserve better than that." Amanda walked over "Casey. Have you seen Tomas?" I threw my hair back "Sorry I don't have a leash on him." She crossed her arms "You live with him; you have to know something." I messed with one of my gauges "Nope. I live with his dad, he's just my roommate." She scoffed "So you guys do share a room. He would lie about that."

I scrunched up my nose in a sassy way "There are plenty more lies I'm sure." She raised her eyebrows "Wait. Are you jealous he chose to be with me? Because he told me you had no problem with it." I jumped off the wall "You can throw the bone but only the dog will bite. That's exactly what he is. A dog that loves his chew toys. You aren't any more special than me."

Ryan jumped down, she gave me a hard look "You're mad he cheated on you with me." I smirked and shrugged my left shoulder "I'm so jealous, I'm so jealous that he wants me but he's stuck with you right? Why not ask him what happened last night? Maybe he'll lie to you about that too." She scoffed "Just like Kylie says no one will ever want to be with you because you're too afraid to even go past first base. You're still a loser Casey and nothing will change that. Stay away from my boyfriend or else." I crossed my arms "Tell him that. I won't have a problem avoiding him, he's your problem now."

I turned around to walk away and ran right into Tomas "So I'm just some problem to you?" I walked past him without saying anything, and Ryan followed me to the basketball courts; as I walked away I overheard Tomas getting angry at Amanda. We sat down under the hoop, Ryan gave me a side hug "If he can't defend you even as a friend, he doesn't deserve you as a friend or more." Without thinking I pulled him by the collar of his shirt and started to kiss him, I knew it was a stupid move on my part but he didn't stop me.

The bell rang pulling me back to reality, I jumped up "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking." I grabbed my backpack off the floor and ran to the main building before he could say anything. I ran into the bathroom filled with girls getting ready for class, Ashlyn followed me in the bathroom "What is going on? Tomas just broke up with Amanda, I saw you kissing Ryan. Casey this isn't you!" I got angry "You have a big mouth; you think I want all these people in my business." She frowned and quietly said, "I care about you, this isn't you. I'm sorry."

I just realized what I did and a simple I'm sorry wouldn't have fixed that, I ran out of the bathroom into the hall crowded with students. I ran straight into Tomas and Jake, Jake said "Woah chill out." I caught eyes with Tomas but I didn't say anything, I threw my backpack back on my shoulder and pushed through the crowd to the exit. I was going to break and no one could see it, I wouldn't allow that to happen.

Tomas told Jake "I'll talk to you later; I need to deal with this now not later." I walked through the park and listened to my music fully blasted in my ears, I flopped back in the grass looking at the beautiful blue sky. As I looked at the clouds, tears rolled down the side of my face, I sat up and wiped under my eyes, I pulled out my phone to look into the camera to fix my eyeliner that ran.

I opened my eyes and saw Tomas through the camera walking up, I turned around to look at him "Did you follow me?" He flopped down beside me "Need to let some emotions out too." A small laugh escaped my throat "Right. Big field and right here is the only place to do that." He pulled his knees to his chest "I'm sorry I made you feel like I used you. Everything you said was true, I never knew what love was and I'm scared to find out just like you were. I was confused about last night and being it was my first time I had some self-doubt too."

I glanced at him not knowing how to respond to the last part so I ignored it "I won't be dating anyone else for a while." I got up and started walking toward the playground, he jumped to his feet and followed me "You deserve better than me. I know that." I stopped walking and got in his face "I'm going with my mom this weekend so just forget about me. I should've listened to my friends about you and I highly doubt I was your first." He frowned "I'm sorry." He stood quietly waiting for me to say something, I pulled my phone from my back pocket "I have a game to get ready for."

I pulled out my water bottle from my backpack, he said "Good luck, my dad will be there. I won't be." I wasn't sure what overcame me but I let my anger toward him go. "You can go, I don't care." He scoffed "I'll think about it; I might be going over to Jake's after if I do." I looked around the field "Okay." He crossed his arms and stared off behind me, I looked up from the grass "You didn't have to do that, you know."

He looked back at me "Do what?" My phone started ringing, I answered "Hello?" It was Jordyn "Casey the game starts in half an hour where are you?" I exhaled "I'm on my way." I hung up "I need to go, hope to see you at the game." He stopped me "Do what?" I sighed "Break up with her over me. I knew I'd never mean anything to you." I threw my backpack on my shoulders while he stared into my eyes. I started running across the field to get to the school.