Things We Lost In the Fire

These Are My Confessions

Not a moment later his supple pink lips crashed against mine. It felt like an electrical current ran through me. After a few seconds I slowly pulled away, but for a second he didn't want to let go of my lower lip. "Hey, why'd you stop? Does my breath stink?"

I chuckled, "No, it's not that. It's just..Prince what are we doing? You're married." Why would I even allow myself to get into this situation?

Looking away, he tried to formulate his answer but I wasn't really helping running my fingers through the hair covering the nape of his neck. "Well, I was enjoying the taste of your juicy lips."

"I'm being serious P!", he flinched when I playfully slapped his shoulder.

"Alright, alright." Sitting down on the love seat, I angled myself towards him giving my full attention.

"So the night I called you over here...me and her had been arguing because she decided to bring up old shit. She just had to ruin our anniversary." I can't believe he won't even say her name.

"If you don't mind me asking...what did she bring up that made you so mad?" His bicep twitched as he deflected his attention away from me. I felt bad for asking as his face tensed up.

"She brought up our kids..." Kids? I thought he only had the one. Lifting his head to gaze at me momentarily, he noticed the confused look I held.

"After our son passed away, we tried again and she got pregnant. But she lost the baby in the first trimester." Tears threatened to leave my eyes as I watched him try to hold his composure.

"Prince...I'm..I'm sorry I made you relive that pain." When I grabbed his right hand, he intertwined our fingers.

"No, it's okay Jazz. I told myself that I was going to tell you eventually. It's just that, it really pissed me off how she repeatedly would bring it up when she knows I don't dwell on the past."

"Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Some people prefer to move on and act like it didn't happen."

"Exactly, you understand. I don't know, sometimes I think about a divorce." A divorce isn't what they need, they need a marriage counselor.

"All because of that?"

"Well...she has this idea that I've been cheating on her."

"Have you?" The fact that he just kissed me and held me they way he did proves he has.

"No, at least not physically. I haven't had sex with another woman, but in the past couple of months my mind has been elsewhere."

I don't care what anyone says, even developing feelings for another woman is cheating. "Has this certain female ever come onto you or anything?"

"No. But ever since we met, I feel like me and her have developed an emotional connection. When I sense when she's had a bad day, I'll call her and joke with her just to make her smile and hear her laugh. The energy she gave off when I first met her was so enticing. I can tell that she cares about my soul and wellbeing, not WHO I am and WHAT I can do for her." Wait....

"Wow, she sounds like a phenomenal woman P."

He smirked, "She is. And her beautiful brown eyes are staring right back at me." Did I really just hear him correctly? This is all too much for me.

"P, I...I don't...I don't want to be the reason why you and Mayte get a divorce."

"That has nothing to do with you, you hear me?"

"Yeah but..you do realize I'm so confused right now",leaning my head against the back of the couch, "I don't know what to do right now. When I met you, you seemed happily married and I respected that. That day I had no idea me and you would be as close as we are, but I'm glad we are. I always thought you were sexy, I'm not going to sit here and lie. But I never allowed myself to develop feelings for you in that way." At this point, I felt like I was rambling trying to get my point across. Waiting to see what his response was, he pulled my right leg into his lap, gently massaging my thigh.