Where U & I Begin

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October 9, 1999

"Why are you so scared? We've done this hundreds of times."

"But that was just you, me and the camera." Skimming the tips of my fingers against the back of the purple velvet sofa in studio A, I watched him check the battery life on his Nikon digital camera. He had been brushing up on his photography skills and was determined to make me a natural posing in front of the camera before the Notorious magazine shoot just hours away.

"You'll be fine, Steve is the photographer. Remember, he shot us together that one time on the jungle gym."

"Oh yeah." As the memories of that playful photo shoot entered my mind, a bout of tiredness washed over me. He makes staying up at all hours seem so easy. It doesn't help that I worked all the night before and only slept a few hours before coming to Paisley. Momentarily closing my eyes as my head rested on left hand, I heard the click of his camera followed by a bright flash.

I slowly opened my eyes and smirked. "Hey, I wasn't ready."

He let out a light chuckle. "I know, but off guard photos are the best. You know you don't have to stay up with me. Baby I'll come get you a couple hours before the shoot."

"No, I'm wide awake." Doing a quick stretch before I stood up, I took a sip of my ginger ale before taking a seat next to him. Spinning in the direction of the soundboard, I ghosted my fingers over the various buttons and knobs in front of me. Tapping my barefoot against the hardwood floor, as I tried my hardest to remember what he told me specific buttons did, I heard that familiar Click. "What will you title this photo?"

Looking off in the distance, he tapped his manicured fingers against his thigh. "Maybe...Concentration."

Photography has really become sort of a hobby of his, he has a real eye for it. He took several pictures during our trip to the Bahamas and just us hanging out amongst ourselves. In fact, a picture he took of me on the beach, he admired it so much that he had it blown up to be hung in his office.

Walking over to relight a vanilla-scented candle that had burned out, I sighed

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Walking over to relight a vanilla-scented candle that had burned out, I sighed. "Actually, I think the video is what's bothering me more. I mean what if I freeze when the camera starts rolling?" I've only been in front of a camera one time when I did an interview with my high school's news show. Oh, I almost forgot about that one time P set up a camcorder on a tripod and we made a 'home video'...but that's neither here nor there.

I felt a gentle hand run along my waist before pulling me back towards the couch. Pulling my legs into his lap, he pulled off my fuzzy grey socks one by one before gently massaging my feet.

"Jazz, imagine it's only the two of us in the room. No crew members, just us moving in harmony to the music. The way I envisioned this video, the intimacy wouldn't flow properly if it was with anyone other than you." Tracing his warm hand up my calf and along smooth thigh, his fingers played under the hem of his oversized silky cream pajama top before finding their way back to my foot. "Just relax and let the music flow through you, I'll be right there with you."

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