Longing For You

I have to let you go...

(Listen to the music)

"After the Final, let's end this."

What?

"You've done more than enough for me, Viktor. Thanks to you, I was able to give everything I had to my last season. Thank you for everything, Viktor. Thank you for being my coach." 

The tears began falling down my face before I could stop them.

My already fragile heart has broken in two.

"Viktor?"

"Damn...I didn't expect Yuri Katsuki to be such a selfish human being."

"Right. I made this selfish decision on my own. I'm retiring."

A wave of shock passed through my body and the tears started coming down more vigorously, my eyes widening with sadness embed inside.

He moved the hair out of my left eye so he could see me more clearly, a look of shock and curiosity spread across his face.

"What are you doing, Yuri?"

"Oh, I'm just surprised to see you cry."

A short wave of anger took over my sadness and I slapped his hand away from me.

"I'm mad, okay?"

That came out angrier that I thought it would.

He jumped a bit but continued to talk.

"You're the one who said it was only until the Grand Prix Final!"

"I thought you needed my help more."

"Aren't you going to make a comeback?You don't have to worry about me-"

"How can you tell me to return to the ice when you're retiring?!" 

I took him by the shoulders and stood over him, my tears staining his jacket.

"Tell me, Yuri!"

He looks away. He can't meet my eyes.

"I don't want to hold you back! Every second you spend with me kills you as a competitive skater!" 

He looks at me, alligator tears welling up in those chocolate pools of his eyes. 

"I saw how you looked at those other skaters when 

I sit down and look at him as he looks at me.

"I can't continue to keep you to myself! I can't continue to keep you from the rest of the world!"

His hands ball up into fists on his thighs and he looks down, his black hair falling over his face.

"Viktor...I have to let you go..." 

He clutches his fist tighter making his knuckles turn white.

The tears go down both of our faces.

It was a night of sadness and sorrow.

The next day at the free skate, Yuri fell into a slump and missed the podium.

"It's a repeat of last year..." he muttered to himself. "I failed everyone around me once again..."

We didn't speak on the way back to Hasetsu.

I packed my things in the night and called for a taxi.

I left Hasetsu with an empty feeling in my heart and a heavy cloud weighing on my mind.

Once I reached the airport, it wasn't very crowded so I had nothing to worry about in appliance to fangirls and news reporters.

"I booked a trip back to St. Petersburg," I say to the lady at the check-in who was staring at a computer screen.