Moonlight

We Got The Babies, Time For An Engagement!

  It had been at least six months now and both the boys have gotten so big and even more handsome then since they were born. Oh the joys of being a mother every moment evermore joyous than the last... I was constantly taking pictures of them and sending them to Derek, you see he and I had settled on an agreement when it came to the boys, he wasn't allowed to physically see them or talk to them, he was only allowed to see them and hear them in only pictures and videos. The boys were warming up to Lucas more and more at some point Mason, had called him 'Daddy' when that happened tears poured out of my eyes, while James, on the other hand is a different story all together! He looks at me with such a look that it makes me wonder what he's thinking at times, and then I hear him in the Stewie Griffin voice saying something like,  'one of these days I'm going to kill you, then victory shall be mine!' I could see that he dislikes me yet I don't know why! As in why does my own son dislike me?! What did I ever do to hurt him?! All I've done is try to love him like a mother should! Clothing him, feeding him, bathing him, changing him, caring for him, loving him! It's as if no matter what I say or what I do nothing I do will ever be god enough for him, it's as if he won't ever love or accept me as his mother...

  As the thought had hit my mind my heart began to break a bit, "hey Lu, its my shift to take care of the... Babe what happened? You're in tears..." I didn't realize that I had begun to cry, it was as if I had gone completely numb.

"Yeah, uh just got something in my eyes is all..."

"No it isn't babe, talk to me please, let me know what's going on"

"I think James, doesn't even love me..."

"Is that what these tears are all about? Because you think your son doesn't love you?"

"Yes..."

"Luna, he's an infant, and plus you're a great mother"

"Lucas, you can see it in his eyes that he doesn't love me!"

"Come on now that's insane! There is no way that if I look into his eyes I'm going to see that he doesn't love you"

"I'll prove it then"

  I walked into the boy's room and grabbed James, who was still awake while his brother was napping sweetly and soundly, dreaming of sweet things... When I looked into James's eyes there it was, that look of hatred! I knew I wasn't going crazy! I had walked from the boy's room and presented the look to Lucas.

"Now as you can clearly see in those hateful eyes that he clearly hates me!"

"Wow, you really weren't kidding!"

"Yeah I wasn't!"

"Do you have a clue as to why he might look at you like he wants to rip your face off?"

"I have not a clue at all! All I know is that he absolutely hates me! If I'd known he hated me this much I would've named him Mike!"

"Why Mike?"

"Because my mom's boyfriend, and he absolutely hated me when they were together"

"Did they eventually break up?"

"Yeah they did after my mom realized what a loser and a terrible person and what a lazy son of a bitch he was"

"Was he abusive towards her?"

"No just me..."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that babe really I am"

"It's whatever now, besides last I heard he had married a loser just like him and apparently now has HIV or something along those lines"