Breathless • Malec

xviii. Magnus

Hey guys! I am SOOO sorry for the super long wait, and if you're still here, I applaud you and thank you greatly. I really hope you enjoy it, I was on a bit of a writer's block, but nonetheless,  I think it turned out well. Thank you, and I love you!

xvii. Magnus

I pressed 'deny' for the fifth time in a row, ignoring Alec's calls once again. I shrugged my shoulders and took a deep breath, trying not remove him from my mind. I was at a raging club where everyone knew my name.

This used to be my home.

So, why did I feel so empty?

I shoved the phone back into my pocket and plastered my best fake smile onto my face. Walking out to the dance floor, I caught people looking at me- girls and guys alike. I could have anyone I wanted.

Why wait for Alec?, I tried to convince myself. To no surprise, the attempt didn't work.

I inhaled sharply as someone caught my eye from across the room.

Camille.

She sauntered over to me slowly, shaking her hips to the rhythm of the song currently blaring through the large speakers at the DJ's booth.

"Magnus," she greeted, fluttering her eyelashes. "I told you I'd see you around," she winked.

Sighing, I rolled my eyes. "Hello, Camille. I'd say that it's a pleasure to see you, but I was always taught that it's better to be honest."

She smirked, her bright green eyes glinting under the reflection of the flashing neon lights. "Well," she purred, grabbing the lapel of my jacket. "Whoever taught you that doesn't know how to have any fun."

I pulled away roughly. She frowned as the smooth material left her hands. "I told you before. I'm done playing games."

Resting one hand on her hip, she fanned herself with the other perfectly manicured hand. "But Magnus," she said suggestively. "Aren't games what we're best at?" Her shimmery white dress reflected all of the colors of the lights around us, making it hard to focus on her.

"I told you before-"

She walked towards me, grabbing my hand and leading me out of the dance floor. "You've found someone new, blah, blah, blah," she rambled as she pulled me to the side of the bar.

Camille let go, but slowly crept towards me, backing me into the corner. "I'm always going to be here, Magnus Bane. Whether you want me or not, which, let's be honest here, you obviously do, I will always be the skeleton in your closet."

I snorted. "I would never disgrace my closet with you."

"Beside the point," she dismissed, unfazed by my comment. "I'm your everything. And I always will be, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.

"Camille," I growled, growing sick of her. "I don't know how many more times that I'm supposed to tell you this. I don't love you anymore."

Her mouth opened, then snapped shut as she pressed her cherry-red painted lips into a hard line. "Don't lie to yourself, Magnus," she whispered, her voice scarily cool. "You've always loved me, and you always will."

"No," I said, my back rubbing against the grainy wood wall. "I won't. Tell me, Camille, why should I love you when all you've done is hurt me?"

"Because," she growled, bringing her finger to my chest and lazily dragging it along my collarbone. "No matter how hard you try, no matter how far away you try to get, your past will catch up with you. I know you like to try and hide it, Magnus." She paused, raising a perfect blonde brow, her sparkly black eyeshadow shining in the light. "You're just as sick as me." She backed away, smiling maliciously. "That's why we belong together."

I pushed her away and she grimaced. I began walking away, but grabbed my wrist and clutched tightly. "Average has never been your thing, Magnus. Alec Lightwood is extraordinarily average. Just tell me," she pleaded, her eyes wide, "tell me what makes him so amazing to you; what makes him better than me."

I turned back, my green eyes glaring daggers. "Unlike you," I spoke softly, but full of venom. "Alec loves me as much as I love him." The words coming out of my mouth had never felt more certain.

I loved Alec, definitely more than I cared to admit, but he loved me too. We found solace in each other. We each had our own problems and we were both fucked up in many ways, but we had each other to get through it all.

Then, it all came crashing back; Alec telling me he loves Jace and me pushing him away. That was the reason that I was in this bar, surrounded by drunk people trying to live through their suffering. Alec was the reason that deep down, I hated myself. I hated myself for not being good enough. For not being like Jace.

Because if Alec didn't love me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I was suffocating on my own insecurities, by my own heartbreak. No matter how many times Alec could screw up, I knew that it would always, always, always come back to him.

We were two halves of a heart, and if he left, he would take both parts.

Camille could sense the storm inside of me, I could tell. Loosening her grip ever so slightly, she stepped closer.

"Oh honey," she sighed, brushing a lock of hair away from my face. "You must realize by now, your heart's too big. No one will ever love you back as much as you love them."

The words struck a chord inside of me and a chill ran through my bones. Her hands were icy cold against my chest. "That's not true," I whispered brokenly, trying to convince myself of it more than anything.

Suddenly, Camille grabbed my face in both hands, pressing her lips harshly against mine.Too stunned to do anything, my eyes flew wide open. After a few seconds of shock, I pushed her away.

"What the hell?" I asked angrily, breathing heavily. "Why did you just kiss me?"

She only smirked. "What?" I asked.

She smirked as she pointed behind her. "Have fun getting back together with your little toy after he just saw you kiss me." She pretended to pout for a few seconds before stumbling backwards and landing a hard slap against my cheek. "Don't EVER touch me again, Magnus!" she shouted loudly before walking out.

The pain in my cheek blinded me for a second. Then, all the pain faded as I finally made out the face a few feet away.

Alec. He was standing there, his fists closed at his sides, gritting his teeth. Even from far away, I could see the heat rising to his face. I started walking, then finally jogging, accidentally knocking over a few barstools on the way over.

"Alec."

He took a deep breath.

"Magnus."