Allodoxaphobia ♅ Viktuuri

6) ''I Can Tell Something's Wrong''

Tears. Just water, weren't they? It's worthy of laugh when someone tells you tears are so insignificant.

Tears are crucial, excruciating. They show true sadness, not just that dip in the road but the fall on a rollercoaster where you can't see where it comes back up.

You're left alone in a blurred world and that world becomes your entirety, you can only focus on the blurred image you are seeing and the sting of the tears on your cheeks.

Then, you begin to sob and all the breath is strangled out of you and you are robbed of that simple, yet crucial, life force.

Tears are significant, no matter what caused them. Tears mean someone is in dire need of help or maybe, they are just in dire need of the ability to prevent an overdose of their own emotions.

Emotions are like a drug and it seemed to be the only thing Yuuri could feel alongside the stinging sensation of water against his cheeks and the pain in his chest of where breath was no longer available.

It was all too much. Yuuri had a thin wire and this time it hadn't just snapped, it had been torn to shreds.

This was his last chance at happiness and he knew that it had just flown out the window.

He wanted to leave, to escape but it would just end in the inevitable- something worse.

It seemed that every time he ran, it got worse and every time he stayed, it got worse.

Not matter what he did, it got worse.

A strangled sob rang throughout the cubicle, echoing back at Yuuri as if to laugh in his face.

'Yuuri?' He heard the muffled Russian voice from outside the cubicle door.

Yuuri silenced himself, clamping his mouth shut trying to halt the painful sobs that were flaming in his throat.

Tears formed in his eyes once again and ran down his face in fear. He hadn't had time to even contemplate who was outside that door but he wanted them to go away.

'Yuuri, open up.' That smooth accent hushed, causing Yuuri to stop for just a second before finally reaching a conclusion- Viktor.

'No.' Yuuri stated, saying no more.

'Please?' Viktor sounded unsure, it sounded foreign in his voice. Viktor was always so sure of himself, so blunt but now, Yuuri could hear the fear in his voice.

'I don't want to talk.' Yuuri muffled another sob, regretting ever speaking in the first place. There was no denying that it was him now.

'Yuuri, I can tell something's wrong. Just open that door.' Yuuri hated how relaxed it made him as every word smoothly made its way out of his mouth. Yuuri felt like he was being lulled to sleep by the accent alone. It was so gentle, unexpected of what is stereotypical of that accent.

'I can't.' He cried out, trying to restrain his hand which was already reaching for the latch on the door. His hand trembled as it rested on the lock, one flick of a wrist away from unlocking the cubicle door.

'Yuuri, you can.' Yuuri could hear the manipulative calmness to his voice. He wanted Yuuri to open that door and to Viktor, smooth talking had always worked. Yuuri, despite his internal screams, flicked his fingers to the left, leaving the door unlocked but not open.

He sat back, huddled on the toilet seat with his eyes closed, unwilling to see Viktor's reaction. In seconds, he could feel gentle arms encasing him. His eyes flung open to see Viktor's tall frame awkwardly leaning down to hug Yuuri.

'Let's talk somewhere else, shall we?' Despite being reluctant, Yuuri had no energy to fight against it nor could he find the will power to be anything but subordinate. Viktor led the way, his hand clamped around Yuuri's arm and brought him towards his empty classroom, locking the door behind them.

Viktor wanted privacy, he couldn't see Yuuri break down again simply because another human saw him. Yuuri in that moment could practically see someone coming to the door, trying to get in, scaring both him and Viktor but said nothing about the vivid image in his mind.

'Yuuri, you can tell me what's going on. I've seen you go around the school alone. You seem to have no interest in making friends or anything of the sort. What's wrong?' Viktor's gentle voice rang out loud throughout the almost silent classroom. Their breaths being the only thing heard as the quiet echoes of Viktor's voice faded away.

'I don't want to talk about it.' Yuuri whispered, his voice almost mute even in the soundless room.

'Yuuri. I don't ever force anyone to do anything... I can...but I won't. So please, just tell me.' Viktor begged, his face contorting into one of desperation. 'Please.' He repeated. Yuuri had never seen a teacher like this, scrap that, he had never seen anyone like this.

'It was just a message I got...that's all.' Yuuri muttered, hoping that Viktor wouldn't hear him and let him go. That wasn't the case nor would that ever be the case. Viktor was there to help and wouldn't let Yuuri go until he knew what was wrong.

Viktor sighed when he saw Yuuri's face. 'Come to me at lunchtimes. You need someone to talk to and I'm not one to force someone to go the physiatrist's office.'

Yuuri nodded finding no other option in this situation, this was so new to him. Why had Viktor done this? Pity, presumably. Little did Yuuri know that Viktor really was just doing this out of the kindness of his heart. He couldn't bear to see someone so...mournful- mournful when there was no one to mourn.

'Meet me here.' Yuuri nodded again before swiftly leaving the room and heading outside to wait until he was ordered to go to his next class.

Yuuri rummaged through his pockets to find a packet of gum with just a single piece left in it. He took it out and popped it into his mouth, the repetitive chewing action calming him slightly along with the memory of Viktor's voice.

Yuuri realised in that moment that he didn't mind if it was out of pity, Viktor was helping it and just his atmosphere alone made Yuuri accept it with a small smile. It would all end in ruins but he felt it was worth it just to spend time with his teacher.

His teacher...dear God, what had he gotten himself into.

word count: 1062

published: 11.02.17