Lonely -Tsukkiyama

Chapter 4 Part 2

*Flashback Continued; Pt1*

"Tsukki!!" Tadashi sobbed, "Tsukki wake up!! Y-you've gotta wake up right now!"

"Tadashi what do you mean, im right here! Can't you hear me?"

"Tsukki! P-Please wake up."

I woke up and shot  myself up from the pillow I was sleeping on next to Tadashi, except he was sobbing, and his parents were standing in the doorway, also crying.

"Tadashi...w-what's happened?" I could feel my breath becoming uneven as I watched my best friends family cry in front of me. "T-Tadashi...is everything okay?

"Oh tsukki!" Tadashi wrapped his arms around me and rubbed his hand over my back in circles, "Tsukki, it's terrible. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I should've listened to you last night."

"W-what's going on?" Tears started spilling from my eyes, I already knew what was happening."

"Kei, I'm so sorry, honey. Unfortunately your mom and dad were in a terrible accident last night. They both died on impact. They weren't in pain, kei. Oh it's so terrible." Tadashis mom rested her head on her husbands head and sobbed.

They're-theyre dead?

No, they can't be. This just be a joke. It's just a joke. You can go back to sleep. When you wake up it will be over.

"Do you need anything?" Someone asked me, but I ignored them.

I had already layed my head down on tadashis pillow and had hidden under the blanket.

This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.

As tears threatened to spill from my eyes, I took a deep breath in, put earbuds in my ears and fell fast asleep.

About 14 hours later...

"Tsukki. Tsukki wake up."

"What do you want? I'm trying to sleep."

"You've also through the entire day and half the night, you need to eat something."

"I don't want to."

"Tsukki, just tell me what you want to eat and I'll bring it to you."

"I don't wnat I eat. I want to sleep."

"Well I'm bringing you chicken nuggets and you're going to eat them even if I have to force them down your throats myself."

"Whatever."

"I'll be right back, will you be okay in here by yourself?"

"I'm not 5, tadashi."

"Um, yeah, sorry tsukki. I'll be right back."

So they're really gone huh?

It's all your fault, you know?

If only you never ran out of the house, if only you went straight to tadashis instead of calling them to pick you up. If only you never went to atikerus volleyball game 2 years ago. If only...they would still be alive.

It's your fault.

You don't even deserve to eat. You deserve to die, just like your parents.

"Tsukki?"

"Oh. Hi." I looked across the room at Tadashi as he walked in with a tray of chicken nuggets in his hand.

"How are you holding up?"

"Fine. What time is it?"

"Uh it's about 1:44 in the morning." A look of shock ran through tadashis eyes, but he quickly covered it up with soft and sympathetic eyes.

"Why did you wake me up at 1:44 in the morning?"

"Like I said, you needed to eat." Tadashi put the tray of chicken nuggets on my lap, although I had no appetite. "So eat."

I picked up a chicken nugget, and took a small bite, and put it back on the tray, "Tadashi, I think I'm gonna be sick."

I ran to the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom and threw up everything I had in my stomach, tadashi sitting next to me rubbing my back.

"Please don't make me eat right now. I don't feel well." I leaned back away from the toilet and I closed my eyes. I felt a sudden presence next to me, who I knew was tadashi, as he wrapped me in his arms.

"You know, it's okay to cry. It's okay to not be okay." Tadashi choked out in between sobs. "I can't imagine what you're going through right now."

"I want to cry but I can't. I just want to sleep. I want to sleep forever. This is all my fault."

Tadashi dropped his arms and grabbed my hands instead, looking me in the eyes, still siting on his bathroom floor.

"Listen to me tsukki. You have to believe one thing. This..this was not your fault. I know you probably think it is but you can't blame yourself for this. This was out of your hands."

"How can you say that? How can you just lie to my face? It's my fault tadashi! It's all my fault! They wouldn't have even had to leave if I never called or even run away again. God I'm so stupid."

"You're not tsukki. Stop telling yourself that. You're so much more than that. Tell you this, how about we go back to sleep, yeah? You don't have to go to school for a while if you don't wnat to but you'll have to go back eventually."

"Alright...tadashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it alright if I sleep over on your side again tonight?"

"Of course."

*End of Flashback*

I feel like a hundred pound have been lifted off my shoulders.

Before I even knew what was going on I have both tadashi, and daichi wrapped around me, crying their eyes out with me.
We were a mess.

But I felt so much better already.

A/N

Okay so short chaoter but the next chaoter won't be flashback I don't think.

Hope you liked it!!

-Log