Lonely -Tsukkiyama

Chapter 10

Tadashi's P.O.V

My eyes flutter open and I close my eyes again as the sunshine pouring through the windows immediately gives me a headache.

What time is it?

I grabbed my phone from the table next to me, and saw that it was 10:49 am.

Maybe I should make breakfast for Tsukki and I....

But....oh.

I look down to see tsukkis head rested in my lap still, I run my fingers through his hair, smiling at how precious he looks when he's sleeping.

I don't really want to leave him here alone, but I want to do something special for him since he's been through so much these last few months.

I gently lift his head off my lap and scoot off the couch resting his head on a pillow.

His eyes began to flutter open, so I got on my knees in front of his sleepy body and kissed his forehead.

"Go back to sleep, Tsukki. I'll wake you when breakfast is ready" And with that he closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

I had stayed many summers in this cabin with the Tsukishima family, so when I walked into the kitchen I was very familiar with where everything was.

I took out the pots and pans I needed, and began to cook Tsukkis favorite breakfast.

Tsukkis P.O.V

I wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs, and I sat up from the couch. I suddenly remembered all the events that took place yesterday, sighing and sitting back on the couch, preparing myself to face him after everything I told him yesterday.

I take a deep breath and round the corner to the kitchen where Tadashi is wearing an apron and is flipping pancakes on the stove.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" He turns and smiles at me, and I can't help but to think about how stunning he is.

"Mornin'"

"Sleep well?" He turns back towards the stove to flip the pancake, again.

I walk over and wrap my arms around his waist from behind and nuzzle my head into his shoulder, "yeah, I did. I sleep a lot better when I'm with you."

He turns around and wraps his arms around my waist and looks up at me, "I'm glad. Now sit down, I made you breakfast."

"You didn't have to do this, Tadashi. You've already done enough for me", I say as I sit down on the breakfast bar stool across from the stove.

"Well, I thought it would be nice for the both of us. We both need a break, yeah?" He put the plate in front of me and my mouth started watering and my stomach started grumbling. "I was thinking maybe we go on a canoe ride today, or just a walk in the beach. You know, something relaxing."

"That sounds nice Tadashi, it really does. But do you think we could just stay in and watch movies today?"

"Sure, anything." He smiles at me.

"This is really good. When did you learn to cook?"

"Oh, just simple stuff I learned in my free time."

"I think it's the best meal I've eaten in months."

"I'm glad."

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We sat on the couch, Tadashi cuddled up next to me, scrolling through the movies on Netflix.

"What do you want to watch, Tsukki?"

"Your pick. I don't really care."

"Mean girls?"

"Oh, anything but that. We watch that way too much", I chuckled.

"How about The Fault in Our Stars?"

"Sure. Are you gonna cry again?"

"Probably."

"Okay. Play it."

As the movie played, Tadashi got sadder and sadder and he was eventually sobbing.

"Why did he have to die?" I wiped his tears and held him closer to me, thinking about how I would feel if I lost him.

All of a sudden tears were coming out of my eyes.

"Oh, Tsukki. Are you crying too? I never thought I'd see you cry about a movie."

"No...that's not it."

"Then...what is? Are you okay?"

"This...This just makes me think about what would happen if I ever lost you. I'm already sad and I know I can't control that, but if I lost you, it would all be over. You're so important, Tadashi. So, so important." I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tighter to me, suddenly unable to control myself.

I lifted his chin up so our faces were only centimeters apart, and suddenly our lips were moulded together, I ran my fingers through his hair as the electricity ran up my body, our lips moving back and forth in sync with each other, and in that moment nothing else in the entire world mattered.

When we finally let go of each other to get some air, I rested my forehead on his, pecked his lips once more and whispered,

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. I'm so glad I can finally tell you that, Tsukki."

"Me too."

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It was 1 am, and we had finally decided to go to sleep after a long day of watching movies, and kissing, and then more movies, and more kissing.

It was a bit much for me.

Don't get me wrong, I loved it. Every second of it, but I'm still mentally exhausted, and what if I'm making the wrong decision?

I kissed the sleeping Tadashi on the cheek, and unwrapped his arm from my torso.

"I'm sorry Tadashi, I just need to give myself some time and make sure I'm doing the right thing. I still love you." I grabbed my blanket and moved out to the living room and laid on the couch.

It's so different without him.

I know that I'm going to have a hard time sleeping knowing that he's in the other room and I'm out here, but I don't deserve to lay in there with him.

He's too good for me. I'm just going to end up hurting him.

I think about distancing myself from him, and felt like I had been stabbed in the chest.

It's just for tonight.

It's just for tonight, right?

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I tried writing fluff for ya'll because you asked for it, but as you can see I am not a fluff writer lol, I write angst and that's about all I'm good at.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed regardless!!

What do you think Tsukki is going through right now? Will he get over it?

If you have any idea for the story, or any chapter ideas, or just how to make this story any better at all, leave your comments here!!

Please share and comment, it would mean the world to me!!

Hope y'all have a wonderful day!!

-Log xx