I couldn't sleep...
All I could wonder was if Jihoon was truly the man I wanted to believe he was or if he was truly just using me.
Am I just another of his puppets...being manipulated by that charm and captivated by his intellect.
I sat up and turned on a candle.
It barely lit up the room but I just wanted to read the letter one more time...
He says we're the same...
You and I are of a rare type of human, both alone and wanting to find a place in this world.
Reading those words...both alone.
I suppose I really am alone...
No mother, No father.
Just like him.
Deemed crazy to those around me while he's deemed dangerous.
Wanting to find a place in the world.
That's me, trying to prove myself to everyone around me.
I kept on reading.
Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone...
Ever since I can remember I have been alone, telling myself over and over that love will never come my way. Telling myself that it's better to be alone and successful than to be held back by my own I securities and a man who most likely wouldn't deserve me. But being alone sometimes is painful, I see all these happily married women with their children and I have nothing. I haven't had a happy life and what could've been ended up in disaster...
Charles and I would have been the perfect couple but unfortunately things went down hill very quickly.
He and I never spoke to each other again, I knew he was a detective but I didn't expect to see him.
It made my heart ache.
I cannot say that I'm fond of you because whether you were to stay or go I would not care and live my final moments in the solitude I have come to embrace.
I feel the same way...
Whether I end up with someone or stay alone, I've come to accept it. I can live with or without someone's love and affection.
But can I say that I feel that way a out Jihoon? Even though I am still learning more and more after each visit, when we're together I don't feel so alone anymore.
If there is something to live for then I wish for you to show me that reason...
A reason?
What is the meaning of life?
The purpose of each human being?
How can I show him when I myself have no idea.
Life is a gamble at terrible odds. Those who live a good life are blessed but those of us who suffer are cursed...
It almost seems like God has a preference and chooses who he will bless and who he will turn his back to...in this case I suppose that would be Jihoon and I.
He may be a murderer but I have had my count of sins too and doesn't the good book say that no matter what the sin may be it is all equal in his eyes?
So I suppose we really are the same...he and I.
Help me understand the true meaning of life. Even if I've done what I've done, I have yet to understand the purpose...what could have been.
YOU ARE READING
The Ripper
Fanfiction"If you do not want to be the victim then simply become the monster" When I asked him why, that was his response. Those women were apparently victims but in his eyes they were the very monsters whom made him this way. He stopped being the victim...
