track 23: breakeven

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Part III — last.

He's been lacking sleep for quite a while,
His fists were shaking at his sides,
His pulse was racing.

He couldn't look anywhere without seeing her,
Was he going insane?
He took a deep breath,
Tried to sleep once more,
Tried to numb the pain.

He closed his eyes;
The sheets still smelled like
sadness, despair and
her perfume.

/ Two Months After The Wedding /

Marvelously, the door shut. Reyna didn't move an inch, Nico didn't say a word. No one got any close, their expressions were blank. They were too many words she planted in her head, so much pain. She looked at him the way he did, a few years back. She recalled a song verse that made her ask herself, would you still trade all your tomorrows? Would you be the good girl or the good girl gone bad?

"You're here." Nico said it first. The way he said it was emotional, forsakingly unbelievable. "You're f.ucking here." There wasn't enough time. It was a rush of minute that Nico stepped forward, causing Reyna to move backwards. She looked at him, as if he were a ghost from past life. Maybe he was, among other things.

"Why'd you do it? Why did you leave?" Reyna asked him coldly. All this time, he had just been gone. A leaf in the wind, someone who flew from a happy family tree and followed the tempting breeze. His reasons were legit, but at the same time complicated. But wasn't he always a Gordian man? Someone who did things cruelly but not on purpose?

Reyna frowned, her eyes were darker. "Was it because of the baby? Or you never knew there was one?" Nico didn't reply. "You're a coward." She said distatefully. He would have to tell the truth; he was a sucker for telling what was real from the lies.

Monster. Outcast. Unhuman. It echoed in Nico's ears like water falling from bridge pillars on a mute cave. I am not a coward. I did what I thought was best. I'm doing what is right, and I'll do it my way. If you can't see it, things may be better as it is.

"Are you really not going to say anything?" I'm sorry. You have to believe me. It was all for you and our child. I'm sorry, I really am.

"Say something Nico!"

"What do you want me to say, Reyna? You're married. You're f.cking married! And it's not just someone else, it's Leo!" He snapped, slamming his fist in the wooden table. Reyna stared at him, a rising fighting spirit worn like a dark aura.

"It's because you've never said anything! I was trying to move on with my life. I realized, I had to be selfish for once. I had to. I had to be like you." Nico raked his hair. For once, he was swollen with pride and jealousy. "Leo. You love him?"

Reyna looked at the other side. "Why are we talking about this?"

"Answer my question, Reyna." His voice broke. "You love him. Reality or Illusion."

"Nico, I loved you." She said, with no trace of reproach. "It was real. But it isn't now."

"You told me to go away."

"I didn't say goodbye, Nico."

"What I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing."

"Nico, don't go there —"

"Reyna, I do love you." Nico said. "And it's the fact that I love you that I can't have you. I don't deserve you." He leaned closer, as he kissed her forehead. Reyna's eyes a minute from breaking into tears.

"Gods, I wish you don't have to forget this .." Nico said, his eyes shifting. They were really dazzling, Reyna thought. That she might want to fall asleep and forget the world. "But you do."

The rest was history. Reyna stood in front of her open window, staring, pondering. She was alone, she brushed her braided hair, What just happened?

She decided to shut her doubts. She crept in bed as she hugged her pillow. There was a bit of blood in her face, she touched it, wiping it away, thinking it was just some kind of mess. This time, she was able to fall asleep.

Jason shook his head, staring quietly from a distance.

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