Light Magic (COMPLETED)

Chapter 17

POV: Adreanus

I do not believe I have ever traveled so efficiently in my life. I took all of the shortcuts despite the dangers of some of these routes. I rode non-stop without sleeping and hardly eating. Fiona was kind enough to provide me with a strong horse, which I am ashamed to admit I pushed too hard. He is recovering now in our stable. I cannot stop replaying my departure over and over again in my head. She must hate me. I keep telling myself that I did what needed to be done. Yet my heart is filled with an ache I have never experienced before and I do not understand.

"Adreanus, are you listening?" Cora asks me with concern.

"I... Uhh... I'm sorry," I reply. This is not the first time that my thoughts have been preoccupied with her. It is distracting. I need to forget her.

"As you are aware, King Liam and Queen Fiona have requested that we send a search party for their daughter. Would you like to be among the party?" Cora repeats herself.

"When do they leave?" I say unable to answer the question.

"At sunrise."

"Can I let you know of my decision then?"

"Yes, of course." Cora eye's me with scrutiny.

My instinct is to go. My mind tells me to stay. How can I forget her if I am on a rescue team in search of her mother? But how can I not help her mother? The internal debate is debilitating. I lay in my bed unable to sleep. I prop one of my father's journals on to my lap and begin to read. They are entirely focused on light magic and I begin to wonder if taking them was the right thing to do. Avila needs them entirely more than I do. They are nothing but sentimental to me if I have no intentions on using the information. I sit for several hours reading through the countless pages and as my mind finally begins to drift I hear a rapping tap at my door. I pull my sheets off and my toes curl in response to the cold floor. I quickly make my way to the door. I turn the nob and crack open the door.

"Adreanus," her voice is soft and nervous.

"Luna?" I cannot hide my irritation.

"Don't go," she pleads.

"It is up to the Queen and King," I lie.

"No, mother told me she is allowing you to decide. I am asking you not to go."

I gaze into the sea-blue eyes. The guilt is overwhelming. Cora made the match one year ago. I was selfish when I agreed. I knew I would never love Luna in that way and yet I agreed because I thought it would make my life easier. My secrets would be safe. She has known me my entire life and would never suspect anything. Now as I look into her hopeful eyes I see my mistake. But I cannot take back my promise.

"Of course, Luna. I will stay." The words cut me deeper than a sword ever could. It is now clear that I would have made the decision to go. I want to laugh. As if I even had a choice in the matter.

"You mean it?" she replies her plump lips pulling into a wide smile. I have heard man after man and even woman at the Spirits tell she is the most beautiful woman in the province with her cascading blond hair, heart-shaped face, tall and lean physique. I have never looked at her in that way. She was a friend, a battling companion at the Spirits, and family.

I cannot repeat the words. Instead I nod.

"It's late. Let us both get some rest," I say as I slowly close the door and return to my bed.