Cliche(A parody)

Cliche # 1: The Insecure Heroine & The Typical Bad Boy

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

And they're like It's better than yours

Damn right it's better than yours,

I can teach you

But I have to ch-

"SHUT UP!!!!!!"

I threw my dumbass alarm clock on the stupid wall. I quickly got up so my evil bitch of a step mom doesn't yell at me.

Hi! I'm marqueshanana, but you can call me Jade. I'm a 17 year old! I'm super duper uber smart and stuff! I like know all of my ABCs! Well, not the letter F because no matter what I always skip that letter. I mean I know it goes after Z, but I always forget. But, other than that I'm really smart an stuff!

"Honey, it's time to wake up!"

There's the evil bitch now. With her crooked teeth , messy and dirty doo doo brown hair, and those pure black eyes. I can understand why my loving father who cherishes me and takes care of me fell in love with her seducing looks. Did I tell you how much I love my father? I really do and I'm gonna keep on repeating it throughout the whole story.

"I know you only want my father's money and power. You don't really love him you evil conniving whore." I hissed out.

My dad is the manager of McDonald's and makes at least thirty bucks a week. His only power is making sure the workers are making the customers happy. He has absolutely no power whatsoever in the business world. Yeah, he is that important. So you can understand why this beautiful and evil woman would like to take my father's money. I also love my father very much if you didn't know.

"Oh, you're soooo funny and I love you with all my heart. I really do wish that I was your real mother. I can't believe she actually left your father, pity."

"You don't talk about my mother whose dead like that!" I said trying to keep the tears from flowing because of her hurtful words.

"What are you talking about? Your mother is in Cuba with her super model husband." The witch took out her phone to show me a woman who looks exactly like my mom, out on the beach smiling and kissing a gorgeous man.

"Lies!!!!" I shouted while throwing her phone out of the window.

"Thank you! I've been wanting a new phone! You are the best daughter a woman can have." She said cheerfully, but I knew it was all an act.

"Why do you HATE me so much!!!!" With that I slammed the door in her face.

Letting the tears run freely, I walked to my mirror and saw the hideous beast that I call my face. That silky black hair that always bounced when I walked. Ugh, my crystal blue eyes that always seemed to sparkle and shine no matter what. I absolutely despise my full pink lips and white teeth. I felt myself frown as I looked at my toned and fit body.

"You're a disgusting piece of shit." I said to my puke worthy face.

"Sweetie, are you almost done?" The bitch said from the opposite side of my door.

"FUCK YOU!!!!!!!"

"Love you too!"

"DIE!!!"

After I got done washing and putting clothes on my fat and atrocious body, I went downstairs. I saw the witch having the audacity to make my favorite breakfast. She probably wants to appear nice and caring in front of my father. I love my father very much. I saw my father reading the daily newspaper with a frown on his face.

"What's wrong father? I love you very much."

My loving father slowly got up from his seat and walked toward me. I looked up admiring his stern and angry face. He raised his hand and had what seemed to be anger, but I know it was really love in his eyes. My father hit me on the cheek with all of his might. I could feel blood from my swollen cheek slowly drip down to my chin. This is what I think what tough love is like. I called his punches, kicks, slaps, and spits in the face Love Taps. He usually looked at me at what seemed to be of disgust and hatred, but it was actually love and kindness.

"Fucking piece of trash." My father grumbled as he sat back down and began reading the newspaper again.

"I love you too!" I said cheerfully.

°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°

When I entered the High School or Bully Central, I was greeted by dazzling smiles and hugs. I winced at the hatred I could feel from the fake smiles and evil hugs. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME SO MUCH!!!!!!"

The Queen Bee of the school walked up to me and smiled at me. I glared daggers at her because I could see the devil inside of her. I'm the typical loser and she's the Queen Bitch that rules the school. It may be cliche, but it's the truth.

"Hi Jade!"

She had on a brown long sleeved shirt that shows that she has no figure whatsoever. The bitch also had on baggy dookey stained tan pants. She also had on Harry Potter glasses that always fogged up. Her brown hair seemed to always be put up in a very messy bun. The witch was always the schools fashionista. And she dated and slept with like zero guys. She is such a slut. I felt anger boil inside of me as I saw her kind smile. I punched her straight in the jaw because she told me that I looked pretty today. The whore instantly fell to the ground while holding her now broken jaw.

"That's for making out with my nonexistent boyfriend!"

After giving her one last kick in the stomach, I walked to my first hour.

°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°
"Okay, I need two volunteers to lay on this bed and demonstrate how exactly teen pregnancy happens. Now, because of demonstrating how teen pregnancy works it is guaranteed that you both will become a mother and a father. I have the phone number to Teen Mom so you can call them when the baby is born. Oh, and you can just pretend that the video camera isn't there. It's just that your Health Teacher can't pay all of the bills with a teachers salary. So, he's going to sell the video online. Okay, any volunteers?"

Everyone except for me raised their hands. Before The Health Teacher could pick anyone, someone knocked on the door. The Health Teacher sighed and opened the door to let the person in. When the person finally got inside of the classroom the whole class gasped. He was the second most hideous thing I had ever seen in my life. The first is the ugly thing I call my body and face. He had pale face and pale blue eye that sparkles in the light. The thing had full pink lips and a strong jawline. I had to stop the bile from rising from my throat as I saw his fourteen pack showing from his tight black shirt. I instantly hated him. 

"Why don't you tell the class about yourself." The Health Teacher said.

"My name is Your Typical Bad Boy, but you can call me Bad Boy." The monstrosity said.

"You can sit next to Jade since that happens in every single cliche bad boy story." The Health Teacher said.

Bad Boy made his way to the seat next to me. When he sat down he  actually had the balls to  smile at me.

"I fucking hate your guts." I said before the atrocious beast could talk to me.

"Umm okay." He said and then ignored me for the rest of the class.

In those ten minutes I began to truly know that Bad Boy wasn't that bad and I instantly fell in love with him. It may seem to have happened slower than your typical bad boy story, but love is love. I love my father very much