Healing [MEANIE]

Fifty-nine

Journal Entry

02-20-17
11:12pm

Nakakainis lagi nalang namomove yung project namin na rap. Ready na akong magpresent eh, tapos biglang sasabihin ng teacher "okay, hindi muna tuloy kasi marami akong chinecheckan" like wtf, pero buti nalang kasi ayoko talagang kantahin yung kanta namin because the lyrics is...it's all in the past.

Dapat pala hindi muna ako nagtiwala. Tsk. Well, simula nung sinunod ko siya medyo nagiging social na ako. Many people wants to talk to me despite knowing I'm deaf. Yep, alam na ng buong school. And oo, hindi maiiwasan ang mga bully but now, I'm with my friends. Palagi kong kasama sina Jeonghan at Dokyeom, si Seungkwan kasi madalas magpatrol, kabilang kasi siya sa council. Yung dalawa ang nagtatanggol sa akin, kahit mga bakla yung mga 'yon may intimidating presence sila hehehe. They sue the bullies.

Ni-invite ako last time nung sa SignLang club and pumayag naman ako though sabi ko three weeks lang ako dun. Ang awkward kahapon, mga tipong 15 minutes straight yung silence, buti nalang nandun si Seoks. After 30 minutes hindi siya nakatagal, he left. At ako naman, ayun nagpakatanga sa CR pagkatapos niyang maglog out. Hutangama. Hindi ko na alam kung anong nararamdaman ko. Pero sa ngayon, hindi ko muna iintindihin.

Somi has been clingy lately. Malay ko ba sa batang iyon, but I don't think it's bothering me. Nagiging  mas close na kaming magpinsan. Also, I managed to keep in touch with umm...let's call him Tall. I managed to keep in touch with Tall's friends. Mukhang mas naging close ang grupo naming dalawa although madalas na wala siya. Well, I've decided. After our presentation, titigil na ako.

Lately, my hearing has been good. Nagiimprove. Lately, I've been wondering what it would be like if I can just hear everything properly without any device stucked in my ears.

Would my friends be with me including him? Panigurado hindi ko siya makikilala. But I'm still thankful I met him. He was like a life storm.

Binagyo niya buhay ko, tapos umalis siya ng maraming sinira. And everything was totally destroyed. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ibabalik. "Time is the cure." yes, maybe it is. That's the only sentence I can trust right now. I will keep it in my mind, time is the cure. Tigil muna sa pag-iyak. Everything will go back to the way it used to be. Just a little bit more.

Konti pa, matatapos rin lahat.

Makakalimutan ko rin siya.

-W