When Winter Comes

Chapter 29: Winter Cannot be Fixed

IGNORE ALL ERRORS

Chapter 29: Winter Cannot be Fixed

I had the phone in my hand. Jace's phone number scribbled through my head. I memorized it at the beginning of the school year sometime. It was basically my own number. It should have been second nature to call him, but I was nervous. What was he going to say? Last I saw him in the hall, he was still mad. Not that I blamed him.

Marie had a long sit down with me when I got home. Carl went to his room. He was taking the week off to "care" for me, which was such a joke.

Marie talked about how I needed to care for myself and acknowledge my strengths. She said I forgot that I had a problem sometimes, but that wasn't true. All my scars were reminders. I asked her if she was sending me away again. She said she had to discuss it with my previous doctors to see what was best. I suggested homeschooling, but she shook her head and told me just to go to my room.

"I love you, Winter. We all love you so much," Marie called to me while I climbed the staircase. I turned back to smile. A weary smile laid on her lips. She was waiting for me to break. Carl stood at the top of the stairs looking down at me. He nodded with Marie. Sure. They loved me a lot, but they had a funny way of showing it.

In my room, my fingers drifted across Jace's number. All that was left was for me to hit dial. But whenever my finger went to push down, my stomach would drop. Jace hated me. Why had he asked me to call him? I didn't know what Jace wanted from me, so I voted against calling. If he only wanted to yell at me some more, I could have dealt without that. He made me feel awful already. Sleep would have helped me, so I curled into a ball, turned on some reality tv show, and closed my eyes. At least I was away from the hellhole of a school.

. . .

My phone rang around 2am. I jumped up from bed at the noise. The house phone shook on my night stand. Quickly, I grabbed it, but most likely it had already woken up the rest of the house.

I was right. Carl was already on the phone when I put my ear to it.

"Dude, it's so late! Why are you calling?" Carl complained. His voice was hoarse.

"Did you give my note to your sister?" Somebody asked. It was Jace, and my heart rate quickened. He really did want to talk to me.

"Yes, I gave it to-" Carl paused. A few seconds went by before he spoke again. "Winter, I know you're on the line."

"Hi," I peeped. My hiding place was exposed. Our house phone showed when more than one person answered the phone. I was forced to talk to Jace.

"Talk to your boyfriend and let me go to sleep. Jace, no more calls after midnight. First thing tomorrow Winter, we're buying you a cell phone." Then he clicked off. No more Carl. Just me, and Jace.

"Winter?" Jace asked once I didn't begin to talk.

"I'm here," I whispered.

Jace was quiet for a while. I sat in the dark with my blanket wrapped around my shoulders. My nightlight shown to the ceiling. It was the middle of the night and I was alone, but with Jace's breathing on the other end I felt connected to Outside.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jace croaked.

"About what?" It felt nice to just talk to Jace. All of our conversations were either screaming matches or pity parties. With us, there was no in between anymore. I wanted to go back to when he was my best friend. If only I hadn't changed in middle school, then he could have always been mine.

"About what happened last year," Jace whispered. I imagined him in his dorm curled on his bed like me. Or, he was at his desk. He loved sitting at that thing.