Stallion

Chapter Seventeen • Flower in the Garden

Stallion Brown

That was not me, it is not something I'd ever do. I would never place my hands on a woman like that. I feel terrible for what I've done. I've broken her heart and shattered whatever we had.

I sat listening to Frank on an old disc as I stared at an open box of pizza. My fingers ceased to move as I wanted to drown myself in a misery from my presented malicious actions. My cigarette swirled its toxins in the air as I tried to make out why this was happening to me. Who I was becoming more and more each day. I wanted to just be one person, not any fools I have created upon myself inside of my brain.

Vahl walked into the kitchen in one of my old shirts, wiping her eyes of sleep. "Why are you up?" Her voice was subtle as I watched her lean over the counter to grab a slice of pizza. The cheese slithered down her chin as she climbed into my lap and poured into my own eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Clearly you aren't. You're thinking about that girl, I can tell-"

"Don't have to remind me." I interrupted and trailed my eyes over the boxes of Christmas decorations that haven't been touched and Christmas is next week. I was behind on everything and had very little motivation. In fact I didn't even want to be here for the holidays. I wanted to be on a Virgin Island with a woman I wanted to be with. Somewhere far from this madness, somewhere where I could relax.

"I don't have to because she's on your mind. Do you love her or something?" Her next bite was a portion of crust she no longer wanted so she handed it to me and I ate it for her.

"I'm not in love with that silly girl." I was beating myself up here. "I'm just doing me."

"So what are we?"

"Vahl we're nothing. An occasional good time is all we are. Emotions and feelings come back to our faint reality when we sleep together and creates a tension we don't need. We don't need each other, it was clear from the beginning." No strings attached.

"I didn't know you felt this way... you took me home and now you feel completely different." She murmurs.

I shake my head in a fit of disbelief, "We are exes for a reason, we coparent for a reason. I told you indirectly that basically all there will ever be between us now is sex. How controlling of me? I'm letting you use my body to your wants and advantages, I let you do what you wanted to do to me that night at the loft." I was intensifying my testimony by the second of the long hand.

"And I did." She sends a small smirk before starting to bite her lip and look away. "I just thought we could make something work."

"Make it work? Vahl the only thing we need to work out is my relationship with our daughter. There's no harsh feelings how I feel about you, but I can't pursue you." Shaking my head, I close the pizza box and trail to the fridge to pour myself a glass of soda. Her demeanor allowed me access to her emotions, she was upset that I wanted nothing more. I knew she would go days on without talking to me. It's not like I have led her on. Her eyes were low as she walked through the living room and up the stairs. I hope she's gone before I wake up, she's one less problem in my life.

Lareaha Banks

Hospitals created a dire memory of meeting my mother around on the other side of the anticipated emergency room, where she has an incident of overdose or relapsing. Those days were long, eerie, and heartbreaking to experience and I was glad those days were over. I never thought I'd be the one to fill up my own shoes and take myself to the hospital. Others stared at me as I walked down the long aisle to the front desk. My battered and swollen eye hid behind my hair, bruised corner of my lips played numb, and my arms crossed over my body. I was next in line.