Ex with Benefits (sequel to Roommates with Benefits)

Broken Strings

I suggest you listen to the song in the link while reading ;)

CHAPTER 9 - BROKEN STRINGS

"You okay?" He asked, rubbing my arm. I nodded. "You seem lost in your thoughts."

I bit my lip. That's an understatement. I wanted to say that, weren't I lost in my thoughts, overwhelmed by troubles, I wouldn't be here in the first place, but that wouldn't be really nice, would it? It was already a horrendous idea, if I add the worst reasons, I won't cleanse my conscience for a few years.

I wanna say that the divorce, the kids, and the whole my husband is threatening to expose me to public humiliation shenanigan are good enough reasons to seek a release, but ... they're not. Especially not when you're using someone's heart.

Yes, I did it. I used Jeremy to relieve my stress and tensions. We've been sleeping together since over two weeks now, namely, ever since Lukas started blackmailing me. I wanna say it just happened, but let's be honest, I sought it. Opposite to some jerk, I don't hide behind lame excuses, I don't blame stress and abstinence or crap like that, I am an adult woman, and I am perfectly able to take my responsibilities.

Goddamn, I fucked Jeremy because I needed a break, alright? The night before I'd taken that other blow, having the final confirm that the man I've spent 18 years of my life with has no shame, that I married a sick bastard that stops to nothing. I needed a break. And Jeremy, he was there, kindly offering a shoulder to rely on ... I took advantage of it. Plain and simple.

I've made sure to tell him right off the bat that what we had wasn't at all serious, but he said it's fine. I know I need to end this as soon as possible, before hurting him, I just can't find the nerve to do it just yet. Let's be serious, it's comforting to have someone to turn to when needed, a lover that will erase all my issues with an hour or two of passion. I think it has to do with the fact that, until a few weeks ago, I lived with a man that used sex to apologize, to say thank you, to relieve stress, to ... well, everything. How do they say, if you sleep with the dogs, you'll wake up with fleas. I'd lie, if I said I haven't taken anything from my husband, and I'd like to think that some of my habits have rubbed off him as well, but apparently not those concerning loyalty and honesty.

"I'm fine", I lied.

"Sure, and I'm blind."

I chuckled lightly, looking up at Jeremy. If his fans out there knew he's nothing like the unreachable sexy symbol he appears as on TV, they'd be even more in love, I'm sure. I mean, yeah, of course, he is sex appeal personified, the women in the newsroom, the newbies especially, are barely able to focus on their job, as distracted as they are hanging on his every word when he's on air, but ... if you know him closely, like I do, you know that Jeremy Talbot, in truth, is a goofy man that cracks up the silliest jokes, he's the life of the party, the one man that'll make you laugh your head off. He can be so funny that you'll even forget how handsome he is, but you can't shake off the sexy sound of his voice. I hear that in my headphones all day, and I can assure you it's a manna for my hormones. A deep, throaty bass that would arouse even a rock.

"Seriously, Tara, you know you can talk to me." Jeremy stated, serious, placing a small kiss on my temple. "I've got your back, sweet pea."

I grimaced at the nickname. Some jerk got me so used to every kind of nickname that now that we're done I loathe them with a passion. But Jeremy has no fault for that, he's just a lovely man willing to help me out, and I appreciate that. "It's fine. I'm just ... you know, overwhelmed, with the divorce and all ..."

When I told him I was divorcing, lovely Jeremy apologized, said he felt guilty, because it was his fault, said he knew he shouldn't have made any move on a married woman ... before he could say why he did it, I filled him in about the general details of my situation. I'm not divorcing because my husband found out I cheated on him, as Jeremy presumed, I'm divorcing because my husband is a sick bastard that's betrayed me one time too many, has showed too many signs of violent tendencies, for how indirect, and, last but not least, has started blackmailing me.