Ex with Benefits (sequel to Roommates with Benefits)

No going back

CHAPTER 15 - NO GOING BACK

TARA'S POV

"No." He repeated for the nth time, ignoring my scowl.

"Dr. Bennet, I'm sorry, but we really need to get through these issues, this way we'll be ready for the trial when it comes, and –"

"No, you don't get it." He stood, eyeing me intently as he spoke. "This divorce isn't happening. Not now, nor ever. Not if I can help it."

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. It's been like this since two hours, my lawyer trying to convince him to collaborate, Lukas refusing every single attempt of hers. He didn't even bring his own attorney to this meeting, while he was supposed to, seeing as we ought to settle the issues we couldn't last time, given how Mr. Prima Donna dramatically abandoned the battle field.

Mae turned to me, as if asking me for advice, but I just shrugged. Ever since he decided he wants us to get back together, Lukas has been nothing but unreasonable. Everything is an excuse to sabotage this whole procedure, we've had to reschedule this meeting five times because he kept on bailing. 

I know it should be flattering or at least comforting that he's determined to win my heart back, but ... he can't see reason. Really. We're done. This failure is the proof that we simply don't work together.

Was I confused that time in the parking lot? Yes. Was I hurt? Awfully yes. That's why I would be stupid to try again. I mean, how easily does he break me? I've made the mistake once, I won't again. Also, a few kisses won't change the fact that, one, he cheated on me, two, he manipulated my own feelings against me, three, he evidently has anger management issues, four, he is not the man I married 18 years ago. 

I understand that people change, I have too, but changing doesn't mean that you go from Jekyll to Hyde as soon as things don't go as you like. And either way, people are allowed to change, but so are feelings as a consequence, and mine have changed, inevitably. Just because my heart vibrated when he kissed me after years, doesn't mean I should just jump back into the lunacy that being married to Lukas Bennet has been these past years.

I'm no 21-years-old girl prey of her hormones, I can't think in function of how much does he arouse me or how do I feel when he kisses me, I need to think about what he did, focus on what's best for my kids, for their future. 18 years ago I made an irrational choice, following my heart and all that crap. It won't happen again. 

I am a reasoning adult now, I'm not the sexually frustrated girl that fell into the clutches of an ex bad boy. By the way, wanna know what happens after the happily ever after? Once the good girl has married the bad boy? Here you have it.

It happens that he starts feeling too restrained within the ties of marriage, it happens that he starts by being more distant, doing more overtime, being more distracted, it happens that he starts kissing random women, claiming it was only a mistake, it happens that he then goes all the way through and cheats on you with the slutty neighbor that's been dying to get fucked by him ever since she set her eyes on him, it happens that you live an ongoing fight with an unreasonable jerk that glides back into his old self ever so smoothly, and you start wondering, who the hell is this man? How could I ever fall in love with him? And where the hell did my lovely roommate go? Why did he leave me with this unreasoning, hot-headed, irascible bad boy that in his best days, gives you the silence treatment, and in his worst, takes every single excuse to wage war.

No, I'm not going back to that insanity, not a chance. Just because my heart kicks up some feelings, doesn't mean I'm oh, ever so in love with that jerk. I'll leave that to romantic comedy, this is real life.