Astoria

t h i r t y - f i v e

Antony watched as Meredith smiled shyly. After a few moments, he gave her a small smile in return.

"I'm sorry if I'm the worst sort of dinner company," he said, forcing an uncomfortable laugh. "I just...I'm not quite as socially adept as Isabella. I don't enjoy it as much. She talks to anyone while I..." He smiled. "While I stand by her side and "look angry", at least according to her."

"I don't think you look angry." She regretted her words, a bit, because if he were to think about it, they implied that she watched him. "What I mean is that I think you just look...serious."

"Well," he said, setting down his glass of water after taking a sip. "I do thank you for your vote of confidence." He smiled, and watched as she looked up, met his gaze, and then looked quickly away.

He searched for a safe topic of conversation. "Meredith, Isabella says that your brother is also employed here?"

He looked up to see her looking a bit conflicted. Eventually, she nodded, after what Antony felt was too long a pause.

"Yes, he does. He works in the stables at the moment." A small smile touched the corners of her lips. "He likes your horses. He's...always liked horses, but being..." He watched all traces of a smile fade from her expression. "Being poor, like we are, we've not owned one for a long while."

Antony frowned, feeling almost guilty for being born in a position in which he was privileged enough to have everything he might want. Was it wrong to have things, or a position, simply because of the family one was born into?

He pulled his thoughts back to the present, for she was speaking again.

'I wish Nash could see the horses," she said. "He loves horses even more than Evan." She laughed. "I bought him one...a toy, just a carving. He was so excited. He said he was going to name it after me!"

She must have noticed his look of confusion, because she smiled and said, "Nash is my youngest brother."

He nodded. "He must be lucky to have a sister like you, to buy him presents."

She blushed and looked down at her plate. "I just wish I could do more...I send them money, but I'm always gone. And we can't spare much for things such as new clothing or toys. When I became Isabella's companion, I earned a bit more money to send back home to my mother...I hope that she uses some of it to get them something outside of the everyday necessities." She looked up once more. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't be boring you with that sort of talk. It probably sounds like I'm being ungrateful or like I'm complaining."

"Would you be apologizing if this were a different place and if I weren't the king? Would you be afraid of speaking your mind and having it sound as though it could be mistaken for a complaint?"

She looked hesitant to answer his question, but she finally shook her head. "No..."

He wondered how many people would keep their opinions to themselves, or change their words simply because of the title he bore. Had people done so in the past? The thought somehow angered him, that people would be afraid to speak to him. He was their king, their advocate. How would not speaking their minds help them?

I want to help them, he thought. I want to help heal this empire from the reign of my grandfather and my uncle. But how can I do that if they fear what will happen to them if they speak to me about the things that trouble them?

He ran his fingers through his hair, slightly frustrated.

"You do that when you're upset about something, don't you?"

He looked up at Meredith in surprise. "Do what?"

"Run your hand through your hair."

"I do?"