(More unedited vents, sorry guys, ill try to get an actual story driven interesting one shot written by Monday.)
Its happening again, im alone in my room, bending these morbid thoughts till they break, snap, cave in on themselves. The clicking of my computer keys sounds much different than the soft tapping of my thumbs on the florescent screen of a phone. Im paranoid, more then ever tonight. I feel like their going to come upstairs, yell, scream. You wouldn't let them though, I know you wouldn't. You care too much about me, well, I like to think that anyways. Edd, do you care about me? Or am I nothing? Maybe not nothing but, this has all been so confusing to me lately, my brain cant handle all this at once, its so stressful, and with summer right around the corner. How do I get through April and May? You should come over more often, at night, so you can hold me and keep me away from myself. My 2 AM thoughts are deadly, they make me want to kill myself sometimes, but I wont tell you that in person, ill only hint to it. Ive been thinking of cutting all my hair off, my parents probably wont let me, but I think I might this weekend. Whats the worst they could do to me if they see I shaved my head, lecture me maybe? I dont like my hair, do you like it? Your always saying its fluffy, I think you like it, but I hate it. Im sorry, my thoughts are eating themselves alive right now, and this computer hurts my eyes. I love you. Though ill never say it to your face, directly, but I love you. I love you more then I should, I hope you can reach me in time. Before September starts, and I leave you back in last years past memories. Maybe thats all you are, all you will ever be, a memory.
Edd, I think they think im crazy.
