mended vs. settLed (a FOURTRIS love story)

Chapter 2: Devastated

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Chapter 2: Devastated

^^ Day 2 ^^

*Tris POV*

The next morning I wake up feeling very energized and ready for the day. The night before I gave them Tobias's information in the hopes that they can track down his whereabouts as soon as possible. I need to see him first, I am beside myself with nerves. Oh my Tobias, a year that he has been without me. It hurts my heart to think of him suffering over my death.

I also cringe when I think about how upset he must be. As a group we had a plan, and that plan did not include me going into the lab instead of Caleb. It did not involve me risking my life in place of my brother's.

I close my eyes and think back to that moment, we were walking through the halls with Matthew, and I just knew in my heart I would not be able to follow through with it. I also knew that if both Matthew and Caleb were with me, between the two of them I never would have been able to convince them to let me go in or be able to overpower both of them.

I remember being so relieved when Matthew accepted my direction to split off from us in order to create a diversion.

+o++o+ Flashback +o++o+

I love my brother. I love him, and he is quaking with terror at the thought of death. I love him and all I can think, all I can hear in my mind, are the words I said to him a few days ago: I would never deliver you to your own execution.

"Caleb," I say. "Give me the backpack."

"What?" he says.

I slip my hand under the back of my shirt and grab my gun. I point it at him. "Give me the backpack."

"Tris, no." He shakes his head. "No, I won't let you do that."

I explain to him that there is a chance I would survive the death serum, while no chance for him. I then convince the guards that Caleb is my hostage. He finally gives me the backpack. I left him no choice.

"Caleb," I say, "I love you."

His eyes gleam with tears as he says, "I love you, too, Beatrice."

My last words to my brother were, "If I don't survive, tell Tobias I didn't want to leave him."

+o++o+ Flashback End +o++o+

I sigh as I look at the view outside. My room has a lovely bay window with a bench where I can sit and rest my head against the glass. It is cool and feels good against my forehead. It is February now; it dawns of me that I have completely missed the spring and summer seasons. My mind wanders to Tobias, as I imagine what things he has been doing these last months. How did it go with his parents? Zeke and Hanna, I then gulp past the lump in my throat when I think of Uriah. I can only assume they turned off his machines long ago. I wipe a tear away for my lost friend.

It looks cold and dreary outside, there is a light sprinkle of snow that is falling. Suddenly there's a knock at my dorm room door. I smile as Jessica and Michelle pop their heads in and ask me to join them for breakfast. I had forgotten all about eating, and we have our first group therapy scheduled for the late morning.

We meet a few of the other women at breakfast, as well as some of the caseworkers and therapists have joined us. One of the guards explains to us that we are in a secure floor and offer to give us a tour after breakfast. We all nod eagerly. My understanding is this will be our home for the next few weeks as we get acclimated.