Summary:
Tobias is devastated when Tris, the love of his life, dies the day the memory serum is released at the bureau. In his grief, he attempts to take the memory serum in order to wipe away his pain, Tris's best friend stops him. Christina...
I feel goosebumps on my arms, as though something important was happening, or about to happen. I look away from Christina and stand tall. I immediately see her. Tris. For a split second I assume it is just my ailing heart that is still yearning for her, playing tricks on me again. It wouldn't be the first the time I saw her beautiful face smiling at me, as though a cruel reminder of what I am missing the most.
Then I remember that I am not dreaming nor am I in the middle of one of my fear landscape exercises.
Tris Prior is standing across the room, staring right at me.
A dozen emotions run through me at once, I breathe in a gust of air and feel waves of shock, joy, guilt and desperation wash over me.
Then I see her actual facial expression. She looks so hurt and in that moment I feel my heart begin pounding with a terrible ache. She bites her cheeks and then turns and runs away. I don't think, I just begin running after her desperately. I scream her name in the middle of the transport bay and people look at me as I am rushing past them. She is fast, and her small frame allows her to move lithely through people, strollers, luggage, I am not sure if I will be able to catch her.
"Tris, please! Please wait. Tris!" I scream after her as I keep running in the general direction I saw her go. I quickly notice this is the way to the exit of the transport bays, so it would make sense that she is leaving. I keep going. Nothing is going to stop me from catching up to her.
By the time I reach a terminal that is right by the main exit I stop upon seeing her. Tris is crying, her shoulders shaking, there are two women with her that look so concerned. One is older and nodding her head calmly, but I can see the apprehension in her eyes. The other is younger and she quietly begins crying too, as though in sympathy for Tris.
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"Tris," I say her name as I approach. Her back straightens the moment her name leaves my lips, but she does not turn to even look at me.
"Please, get me out of here. I can't deal with any of this right now. Please," Tris says directly to the women, not even looking at me as she pushes through them and begins walking away.
Does she think I am going to let her out of my sight for even a moment? I reach my arm forward as I try to grasp her forearm, but I am suddenly blocked. The older of the two women asks me to please give Tris space, she has just been through an ordeal and she just needs time.
"Are you crazy?! I am not going anywhere unless it is with Tris. She is supposed to be dead, and now she is here and doesn't want to talk to me!? Get out of my way lady," I snap at her.
I quickly dodge past her and catch Tris's wrist, she gasps at the contact and I gently pull her close to me. I don't want to be forceful but I also have to see for myself that she is real. I look deep into her eyes, those beautiful, insistent eyes that have always captivated me. As I reach my other hand to try to cup her face Tris jumps back and tries to break free from my grip.
"Tris, please!" my voice rises, and I am shaking with emotion. "Please talk to me, is it really you?! How are you alive? Where have you been for the last year?" Tris will not look at my face as she again tries to pull away from me, but I will not let go of her wrist. I will never let her go.
And then I see her three ravens on her collar bone. I gently touch the top one with my finger tips and run my fingers along all three slowly. It is her. My Tris.
Suddenly with her free hand she aggressively slaps my hand away, shocking me so much that my grip around her wrist loosens. She turns to the women again, and begs them to please get her out of here. She sounds panicked, as though she is desperate to get as far away from me as possible.
This time I am not going to let her slip out of my grasp. I turn her around and grab both her wrists and pull her close to me. I stare into her eyes. She again tries to break away from me, now she has tears streaming down her face. It breaks my heart to see her look so miserable, especially knowing that I am the cause. She tries to break free and even the young woman, who I heard Tris call Jessica, tries to pry my hands off.
"Tris, it is you! I lo..." and suddenly I am forcibly grabbed by two security officers and yanked away from her. She looks relieved as she rubs her wrists and takes a step away from me. She won't even look at me as she turns and begins walking away from me. The younger woman, Jessica, looks at me so sadly and just frowns. The older woman says something to the guards that are holding me – she asks them to wait a few minutes before releasing me and then she quietly walks over to me, looks at me with sympathy and slips her business card into my hand. She tells me that we will talk soon, and she asks that I try to calm down.
When I accept I am not going to be able to break free, I scream for everyone and Tris to hear, "Tris! I love you!" I see her pause for a moment, her shoulders shaking. Her friend puts her arm around her shoulders and they keep walking away, neither looking back at me.
A few moments pass and I immediately act calm for the guards' benefit. I calculate how fast I will need to run in order to catch up to her. The guards holding me ask I am ready to be calm and control myself. I nod my head in agreement.
They let me go and explain to me that there is a lot more going on here then what meets the eye. I frown and look over the business card I was handed. The woman's name is Kelly White and she is a case worker that specializes in trauma.
I hear someone clear their throat behind me.
I turn around and see that Christina has been standing there, probably the entire time. She looks very upset, not that I blame her. But the truth is, I can't worry about her right now.
I walk over to her, and she looks at me expectantly. As though she already knows what I am going to say.
Before I can speak Christina gets close and attempts to put her arms around my neck, I instantly recoil and catch her hands. She frowns, and shakes her head at me in disappointment.
"Tobias, think about what you are doing, take a breath. What we have is real, it is really good, we are good. Remember what we have, the things we have done together, I don't want to lose you," Christina says as she steps closer to me. I am instantly reminded of that moment a month ago when I first leaned in to kiss Chris. She had been standing so close to me then too, and she had been pushing and pushing so hard for me to move on from my grief. I shake my head to push that thought out of my mind. I can't think about all of that right now.
Tris is my number one priority. I take a large step away from Christina as I release her hands gently. I don't want to be cruel, but I also know where my heart is.
"I'm sorry, but I've got to go. It's Tris," I say to her and turn on my heel to run after Tris.
