Tired of Lies

Christina Taylor

I wake up and my eyes hurt from the room I'm in. I squint my eyes wondering where I am and suddenly everything comes back. Oh no. No no no. I can't believe I was so stupid how could I do this to myself. Nothing will ever be the same again. I try to sit up and realize that I can't. I struggle to move and crank my neck forward to see what is holding me down and I see straps wrapped around my body tightly. Probably to stop me from "hurting myself." I look around and see that I am in a hospital and there is an iv inside my wrist pumping in blood. I must have lost a lot of it when I had cut myself. My mom was sleeping in the hospital chair. She must have been here all night. There are flowers from my dad and he was probably working right now which is why he was not there. I suddenly felt very bad because of all the trouble I had caused for my parents and I don't think there is anything I can do about it. At least I would get to go home. My mom started to stir and when she saw I was awake, quickly rose from the chair and began to kiss me and stroke my hair. I wanted to tell her I was sorry. Tell her would never do it again. Tell her I would be okay. Then a tall brown haired man walked in and I guessed he was probably my doctor.
"Oh good you both are awake. I am Dr. Jones." My mom rose and shook his hand.
"So we have some good news. It looks like Zoey is getting better and she is getting stronger by the second. We would like to run some more tests then-"
"I could go home right? I mean you said it yourself I'm getting better so that means I'm healthy enough to go home."
"No I'm sorry Zoey Campbell but you will have to stay here in the teen psychiatry ward until Monday afternoon and then you will be transferred to the Michael's psychiatry ward where you will stay."
"What?!" I could handle staying in Michael's psychiatry ward but not here and for three days?
"It is what is best for you to prevent you from doing any further harm to yourself and others."
"Could I at least get out of these straps?"
"No you will be in them for today. Nurses will aide you with anything you need."
Then just like that he left. I couldn't believe this how could they do this to me? My mom turned to me.
"Ok pumpkin I have to go to work but I will be back at exactly 9:00 and stay with you 11:00. Is that ok?"
"Yeah that's ok, you know mom I love you right?"
"Of course I do."
"Okay bye mom. I'll see you later." My mom quickly left the hospital room. She was probably already late. As if on que a nurse walked in. She took off the straps, asked me to sit up, then ripped my clothes off. I had never felt so violated in my life.
"I can dress myself."
"On the first day patients are not allowed to dress or wash themselves."
"Why?!"
"Because it to prevent you from hur-"
"Yeah yeah hurting myself and yadda yadda. Just hurry up." She quickly washed me and put a hospital gown strapped me back into my hospital bed. Then she left a clear cup with a blue plastic cap and a sticker that had my name on it. Probably to check my pee and make sure I'm not drinking or eating anything I'm not supposed to. I don't think I'll last a day I could barely an hour. Another nurse came into my room. Now what?
"You have a visitor."
I crane my neck to see who it is. Hazel eyes.
"No! I don't want him to see me."
"Ok mam. I will ask him to leave."
I look and see him staring at me and see that he is hurt but I can't let him see me and especially not like this.
******
I wake up and realize I had fallen asleep thinking about how I was going to explain all of this to him later. A nurse with bright platinum blonde hair comes in and he looks like he could be at least my age.
He greets me with a cheeky grin. "Hi!! I'm Benson and I will be your nurse for the rest of your stay here!"
I practically wanted to gouge my own eyes out because of his happiness it was wayy too much. But it made me forget that I was in a mental hospital so it's not so bad.
"How old are you Ben?"
"It's Benson."
"You didn't answer my question."
"You didn't say my name so unfortunately I can't answer your question."
I smirked supercilious. "Fine. How old are you Benson."
"Better. I'm actually 18 I graduated from high school last year. I'm a student because I want to become a nurse one day."
"My turn!" Benson grimaced, his laugh was sudden, and short engaging the dimple he had on his right cheek. "My name is Zoey. I am still in high school and I am here because I am stupid."
"Well. I'm glad you are here because by far you are the funniest patient I have had in a month."
Now it was my turn to laugh.
"Ok well everything seems to be fine and in order. I will be escorting you to the teen lounge where you can meet new friends, watch tv, and do other activities."
"What is it with hospitals and trying to make us feel like at home?"
"Well we want you guys to feel comfortable and safe so we try our best to make you guys feel normal."
"Not to be a negative Nancy but we will never feel normal. We have gone through too much, felt too much, to pretend everything is ok."
"But isn't that what you did to get yourself here."
I looked down at my gown. "Yeah."
He lifts my chin with his finger and looks me in the eye. "Yeah you're right . We are doing the same thing by playing pretending . You will just start right back to square one right?"
"Yeah!"
He shakes his head lightly. "Not really Zoey Campbell it all depends on how you react to it. You choose whether to let this mistake, this fear to control you, destroy you, but it's all on you to make the decision to look it right in the face and say no and walk away a little stronger."
I look at him lost for words. It was the first time that someone gave me a real answer. At first I was ready to punch him and start yelling but I knew deep down that he was right.
"Someone will be ready to escort you to the teen lounge." Then he left.
******
As soon as he left another nurse came in ready to work wearing a badge that read Nancy. She helped me down the hospital bed and helped me into the wheelchair. I had a feeling they weren't going to let me walk anywhere. She wheeled me out of my room and across the hall. I looked around and saw two security guard holding down a young girl with pink hair as she screamed and kicked them.
"Let me go!! I'm not crazy!! I already told you!! I don't belong here!! You have have to believe please!!
The nurse pushed the wheelchair faster.
"Nurse Nancy who is that?
"Christina Taylor. She was transfered her a few months ago and diagnosed with schizophrenia. She keeps saying that there was nothing wrong with her. That she was rapped and this girl named Pandora King was too. Later Pandora was sent here too but when we asked her if she had gotten rapped she had said no. That Christina was always making things up. Christina kept getting worse so we just put it aside."
"Yeah but what if that is true and you just let a man walk free?"
"I highly doubt it."
Christina ran past us and turned to me. She grabbed my arm tightly, tears streaming down her face.
"I'm not crazy I swear." She searched my face with her pleading icy blue eyes for any kind of recognition and hope. I saw fear and I knew there was more to her story. Three security guards came and grabbed her arms in a flash. As the nurse pushed me away I knew that I had to tell her something make her fear go away, give her that hope because for some dumb reason I believed that maybe she was right and I could help her. I hopped off the wheelchair and ignored the screams of the nurse. I ran towards Christina and looked her straight in the eyes and said "I believe you."
******
I wake up back in my hospital bed a little confused of what happened. I panic thinking that they put me back in the horrible straps. But they didn't. I sigh and relax my head on the pillow. I hope I didn't get Christina in trouble. Benson walks through the door and I quietly cheer. I really didn't want another nurse here to act like I'm not even here. I think I would have probably really lost it.
"Hi Ben."
"I already told you yester-"
"I know. Can I please just call you Ben? I have this thing with nicknames and plus how are you going to know it's me if I call you and we're in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and you can't trust no one?"
"Fine but not when there is other people around because they will think I'm getting too soft on you."
"Deal."
He changed my sheets and left me my breakfast and hospital clothes on the desk near the bed. I got up and walked towards the table and saw a piece of paper with numbers on it and on the top it read "Ben" and If you ever need something just give me a call. I grinned but I still need to know what happens to Christina. I put on my robe and ate breakfast. I know I'm not supposed to leave my hospital room but I have to see Christina. If they really didn't want me to leave they should have at least locked the door. I mean this is a psychiatry ward for crying out loud! I walked through the door on my tippy toes trying not to make a sound. I passed what seemed to be like hundreds of hospital doors until I found one that was labeled Christina Taylor. My hand shakes as I turned the door knob. I know as soon as I go in this room there is no turning back. I walked and saw Christina strapped down to a hospital bed and instantly felt bad for her. I know exactly how it felt to be treated that way and trust me it was not fun. I stood for what seemed like hours not sure what to say or tell her but I knew I needed to do something, say something at least. "Are you ok?"
She cranes her neck so she can kinda see my face. I move closer so she can get a better look. "What kind of question is that?"
"You have a good point."
"Anyway thank you for standing up for me."
"Well didn't you think I was? I mean you looked pretty serious when you told me."
"Yeah I know but most of the time if I had reached out to someone like that. They would all think the same thing. Just another patient with a sickness. I know that in mind it's kinda crazy trying to do something like that holding on to hope but my heart was telling me, you can't give up what's one more try anyway? You can't get any worse than in what you already are right? What's the point of trying if it wasn't hundred and ten percent. So thank you for believing because you made all of that extra work, that hope worth it."
"Of course I would never leave someone without putting everything I have first. Not again. Anyway what did you mean when you said I'm not crazy?"
"I meant I' not supposed to be here. I shouldn't be here. That bitch put me here"
"Who put you here? Pandora?"
"Yeah she is the one that did this to me! She got me sent here. Will you help me please I can't let the both of them walk away free."
"Ok but first you have to tell me everything."
"Pandora and I were close friends and we talked to each other a lot. Pandora had told me she was talking to this guy. That he was her new boyfriend and that she had already lost her virginity. Like any other friend I wanted to meet him. But as soon as I talked about meeting him she panicked. So I knew that I would have to find out myself. So one day I followed her to where she was going to meet him. When I got to the house I saw her make out with an older guy like he looked young but he was probably in his mid 30s."
"What?!"
"Yeah and when I confronted her about it she got mad like really mad. At first I promised her I would keep it a secret so she calmed down. One day she asked me if I wanted to see him so I said yes because as a good best friend I wanted to make sure that she was ok. When we got there he invited us in and everything seemed good but then Pandora left to take a phone call and I was left alone with him."
Christina started tearing up. I took her hand.
"He started getting closer to me and playing with my hair. At first I didn't do anything because I didn't want to make a scene but then he grabbed my wrist and I pushed him but he held is grip tighter I screamed as he dragged me into his bedroom and then... and then."
Christina was now full blown in tears. I held her hand tighter. "It's ok you don't have to tell me that part."
"After I ran out never looking back. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to tell. I just knew I had to get him thrown in jail. The very next morning I told Pandora what had happened and she didn't believe me. She thought that I was trying to break them up and got mad. I threatened her that I would go and tell the police what she was doing if she didn't break up with him. She quickly agreed and told me she ended it. The next day I had thought that everything was back to normal but then Pandora had tried to hit me with a car and that was when I knew that she had lost it. I figured out that she was probably still together with him and wanted me out of the way. So I went to the police. I still had hope for Pandora because I knew that love can make you do stupid things so I had only told them that me and Panodra had gotten rapped by man but when I had told them that all they did was start talking to me slow like I was four and they walked me to the police car and the next thing I knew I was in a mental hospital and that Pandora had gotten to the police before I did. I tried to tell people what had happened to me but no one would listen."
"So you had thought that Pandora had won."
"She had taken everything from me. My future, my virginity, everything."
"But why is Pandora checked in this hospital?"
"Pandora is here?"
A loud crash came from outside and we heard a nurse cursing and mumbling about how she had to go back to get Christina a new snack. I had to leave before I would get caught.
"I will tell you the rest tomorrow just meet me on the roof of the building tomorrow afternoon."
"Okay. Good luck with the nurses."
"Thanks."
I quietly snuck out her room and went back to mine as quickly as I could. I went back in my hospital bed and pretended to sleep. Benson walked in with a smirk on his face. He knows.
"I know that you weren't in your hospital bed all day."
"Ok you caught me but please don't tell anyone."
He chuckled. "What do you think I had been doing? You didn't think that anyone would have noticed you were gone sooner If I hadn't been the nurse assigned to you?"
"Right. Thank you so much!"
"Yeah yeah."
******
I had not been able to sleep after what had Christina told me yesterday I couldn't wait to find out more. I was hungry for it wanting to help. It was almost time to meet her up on the roof but Benson had been in my hospital room all day knowing that I would try to leave again. I had to find a way to get rid of him. "Hey can I get new bed sheets I feel like these ones are dirty."
"Really Zoey?"
"Please I don't feel comfortable in these sheets and I mean like how long can it take for you to get new sheets anyway right?"
"Fine Campbell. Stay here."
"Yes sir!"
He angrily stomped out and I waited for him to turn around the hall and I ran out of my room trying not to waste any time. As I ran around the hospital I realized I didn't know how to get to the roof of the hospital. I think I saw it when I was looking for Christina's room and try to figure out what I passed. Oh yeah! There was a staircase leading to the roof on the third floor! I quickly got to the third floor and found the staircase leading to the roof. Each step I took I got filled with more excitement can't wait to see where Christina's story leads me. I got to the roof and I quickly sense something is wrong. Christina is nowhere to be found and there was this red paint or juice of some kind everywhere and the air smelled of a metallic iron smell. I bent down to see what is was and finally registered that it was blood. I quickly panicked backing up. Where was Christina and where did she go? I looked around saw nothing and decided to look over at the edge. I gasped as I looked down thirty stories high and saw what I think looked like a body that looked pretty broken from head to toe and one arm covered in blood that I hoped wasn't Christina's but I knew in my heart it was.