Troubles Of An Alpha's Mate (ON HOLD)

21

Chapter 21

/Luke\

"Remember who you are, Luke." Who I am? Who am I? Mom used to always tell me that. She told me when I went on my first hunt, when I made my first kill. I always knew who I was, and I thought it was one of the stupidest things she could ever tell me.

I was the son of Valerie and Greyson fucking Anderson. I was born to be an Alpha, my birth was the start of a war that my sister and I would come to finish. I was a favored wolf among the council and born into power, to burn marks in our history that would leave me as a legend to my pack. I was born for greatness, my parents knew it, I knew it.

But now I couldn't even look in the mirror and know who I let myself become. Who am I? I didn't know, I needed my parents guidance right now more than I need anything. I need my Dad's strength and my Mom's reassurance, because I no longer could tell who I am, who I was made out to be. I didn't want this war any longer, it hadn't even begun. I didn't want more innocent blood on my hands, I cherished my memories of home, family, and the pack more than anything. I longed to be in the arms of my Mom and Dad with Sophia at my side, for them to tell me I'd done what I could and I would be forgiven.

But forgiveness is no longer within my reach. Forgiveness is one of the few luxuries I could no longer afford, to think I'll ever receive it was laughable. There is no forgiveness left in this world for me. I've torn apart families and packs, I'm not worthy of saving.

My parents, the mighty Alpha's that they are have shown me many things in my life. They've given me the gifts of knowledge, love, strength, faith, hope and compassion. They've offered up everything they are to Sophia and I to live out this war.

Although no amount of their teachings could help me win this internal battle. I'm losing myself to Ariah's work terribly. I need to find strength within to gain control of myself, but I don't know how.

Since I killed the Luna Kiara three days ago, I've undergone changes for the worse. There are times when I'm the man I know I was raised to be, and then other times I'm the version of myself Ariah has created. When he wants to come out my body feels as if I'm being torn in half and lit up in flames.

I'm turning more into a monster as the days pass and time will soon run out. Day and night Ariah has me going around the clock ruining the lives of many for Payne's oh so great pack.

Payne, the maggot that is my sister's mate. She deserves the world, much more than a piece of scum that's ruining the lives of wolves all around through me, and for what? He's done nothing with the ones we've captured.

"Luke?" My head feels heavy as I stay seated on the bench inside these prison walls.

"Luke, I've been looking all over for you. Ariah has us going to another pack and he's allowing us to be together for the remainder of the packs in the Southern borders. They're too much for our groups alone to take over. Luke, are you even listening to me, what's gotten into you?" Paisley stands before me as I look up to see her brows furrowed.

"Are you feeling alright? You haven't been yourself the past couple of days." She gently grabs my face and feels my head for a fever as I lightly push her hands away.

"Paisley, can you keep a secret, for me?" My eyes stay locked on the ground. Dim light pours through the windows from the rainy skies outside.

"Are you kidding me? Of course, anything for you, you know that." I can see her from my peripheral vision frowning and shaking her head in confusion while grabbing my hand.

"Something in me is changing, and I need you to be considerate, and to understand that what I'm about to tell you is to never go beyond these walls for as long as we're here." I knew my hard tone took her off guard but she nodded nonetheless.