Before Dawn (On Hiatus)

Chapter 11: Helpless

Camila’s POV

The instant her eyes locked with mine I felt the familiar butterflies, dang it! I leisurely walked over, trying to seem confident even though my legs were shaking and my heart thumping rapidly.

«Hey Lauren. Can I talk to you?» I asked looking at the surroundings, afraid of getting lost in her eyes if I looked into them for too long.

She nodded her head and followed me obediently. I pressed my books tighter towards my chest as I felt the nervousness taking over my body involuntarily. Lauren's present in itself was making me swoon and all these feelings to erupt, such as tingling.

We finally reached my planned destination, a few lockers away from the other people. Being shy had always been one of my problems and now that I was still considered the new girl I didn't need more attention aimed at me.

After a few breaths I turned around to face her. She looked worried, but with a glimpse of curiosity behind those piercing green eyes.

«I’m not going to tell anyone about you guys and...I do like you.» I started, but had to stop when I realized I had no idea how to formulate the rest of the sentence.

«But?» She prompted and lifted her eyebrow questioningly.

It was hard to open my mouth so the words the followed sounded more like a whisper through my gritted teeth. «But I can’t be with you.» 

Traces of hurt flashed through her eyes, but she only stood there. Taking it all in it seemed and I wished I'd been brave enough to just take the leap with her, but I wasn't and I couldn't force myself to be.

«Why?» She questioned motionless.

«Because I don’t know what to believe anymore. You’re a fucking vampire! Something that should be improbable, technically you're impossible. I feel like I don’t know you. And I have to think about Sofia...» The tears were threatening to spill out so I had to make sure to blink them away.

«You think we will hurt Sofia? You think I would ever lay a hand on your sister?» She asked emphasizing the word I and I felt like I’d hit a sore spot.

«No...Yes, I don’t know Lauren! I don’t know you. I thought I did, but I just don’t.» I answered trying not to raise my voice.

«No one will harm any of you Camila. I’m not like that and what I feel for you is different. It’s magical somehow.» She stated and moved closer.

In fear of what she was doing nect I had to take a few step back as I felt her hot breath ghosting my lips. She didn’t stop until I felt the wall hit my back from behind and I gulped.

I held my breath feeling the electric tension between us. She leaned in closer and for one minute I urged for her passionate lips on mine.

Unfortunately she pulled back, or was it fortunate? To be honest at this point my head was just so confused with emotions that everything was just a big fuzz.

«I will grant you the wish. If that’s truly what you want.» She said with a calm look.

No, I want you. I’m just scared of the consequences.

I only nodded my head in agreement.

She walked away and for the first time she was gone, not because she’d had to, but because I’d told her to.

And that broke everything on the inside.

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Lauren’s POV

I knew that being with her was only a result of my burning desire for her, a mindgame made up by my imagination, that it in reality would be something near impossible.

Still I couldn’t help but feeling slightly hurt when she'd rejected me. It was as if she’d just broken up with me and my feelings were clearly all over the place as I could feel a headache starting to form.

A strong hand grabbed my arm as I passed her and didn't realize before I looked up to meet Ally's gaze, her concern filled eyes shining towards me.

She dragged me with her. «She told you this?»

I raised my brows in disbelief. «Ally. I swear. Get out of my head now and never return.» I warned her with poison in each word, causing her to take a step back.

«I’m sorry Lauren, I’m only trying to help you.» She excused with her hands up in defense, looking at me with a wary expression.

«You aren’t helping. She is right. I’m a vampire and I drink blood from her kind, which make me more than dangerous for her.» I sneered.

«Lauren, you’re not dangerous. Trust me. I’ve been dangerous, I’ve killed people. I know what being a monster will say and you’re not one.» She told me.

«Ally. We both know that my birthday is coming up soon. I won’t be strong enough to fight it, you saw how easy it was for me to almost give into my cravings when it came to Camila.» I ran my hand through my hair distressed.

«I know it’s hard for you to understand Ally, you don't know I feel, but I do and I love her. It might take all my strenght but I’ll stay away from her, because she wants me to.» I stated before walking off.

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Two weeks had gone by without me talking to Camila and it was driving me insane to know that she was walking, breathing, living on her own, without me having any sort of contact with her. 

I'd still been watching over her, but I hadn't been able to do anything than to listen to her waking up from nightmares.

It was absolute torture to feel her horror and hurt. Her window was open at night and I could hear another one of her heartbreaking screams resounding through the small room.

Ok this was bullshit. I took a huge leap through the window and pulled her small frame close to me, afraid that she was going to move away I craddled her tighter.

Even if she resented me or the fact that I'd disturbed her and broken my promise she let me embrace her trembling body. «Shh. Camz.» Her heartbeats immediately slowed down and I nuzzled my nose into her hair. 

«I knew it was true.» She whispered into my chest.

«What was?» I asked interested.

«That you are the guarding angel that keeps watching over me. You weren't a part of my imagination. All the nights I felt your present, I didn't make that up. You exist, and you take care of me.» She mumbled in a muffle voice into my chest, her eyes closed and fists clenched against my chest.

«Camila, I’m sorry...I'm sorry for not telling you about my visits, and for being who I am.» I purred into the top of her head.

«Lauren, never apologize for who you are. I’m sorry for telling you that I don’t want you...I do. I don’t care about anything else, I love you.» She surprised me. 

«I lov-» I was interrupted by a burning pain before I within an instant felt cold spread throughout my body. I fell to the floor and desperately dragged myself to the window.

It was right before dawn and I could see the sun rising in the distant. No, not now. I thought and lost control of every limb, only to seconds later find myself in consuming darkness.

I started shaking furiously and my breathing was heavier than usual as I felt my heart rate die out, slowly until it was barely pounding. Literally I could describe the feeling with ebing on the verge of death.

That was when I realized I was.

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