A New Beginning

Doubts

After the dinner we went home and I was pretty exhausted. I was so tired I fell asleep on the ride home. I never could actually sleep in a car. Maybe it was because I hadn't felt safe or I was driving myself. I felt a bit of cool air and knew the door on my right was opened and I opened my eyes. It was Austin who opened the door.

"Well hello Sleeping Beauty. Can you walk or do you want to be carried to the door."

I was still half a sleep and grumbled a bit. "I can walk." He helped me out of the car and offered me his arm which I gladly took. I was a bit wobbly on my feet. My body was sore from the position I slept in. This made me think.

"How long have we been standing here?"

A blush crept up his cheeks. "Oh, uhm well for about half an hour I guess. Not much longer. We felt you needed the sleep. You looked exhausted."

I smiled and thanked Austin. He was so sweet. How could I not love him? I now had agreed to the relationship I was having. I just was not sure how it would work. I'd need to see it. With Austins help I got to the house where the others were already sitting on their coffee and drinks.

I walked towards the counter and turned on the water heater. I took out my favorite mug because it was so large and took my minty Morocco tea. I loved this one and I actually like it without sugar since it was already having a sweet flavor. Standing in the kitchen taking a sip I was feeling content and happy. After taking the sip I sighed out of pure delight. I walked to the dinner table and sat at the empty chair.

"Did you get to talk to Jenny?" Marshall asked.

"Yeah I did. She was happy for having another girl around since there is too much testosteron she said."

The guys snorted at that.

"Yeah that sounds like my mom. She is very fond of you ."

"The feeling is mutual.  She rocks. She told me to settle down and just take things slow. All will fall in it's rightful place you'll see." I smiled at that. Thinking of the talk she gave me. She wanted me to take the time to really get to know my guys.

"That reminds me. I need to really get to know each of you. I would like to have a schedule or something so I know who is where. I also want some time for you individually."

"We'll make a schedule. A week thing. Sometimes we are needed elsewhere or being called away. It would be good if you at least know if you can reach us. I'll get to it." Houston said.

I nodded my agreement. "Thank you. I think I'll change into my comfy clothes and watch a movie. After my little nap I feel like watching something." I checked Netflix and decided on an old movie which I loved. It was when hope floats with Sandra Bullock. I could relate a bit to her in the movie. I sat on the couch and covered myself with a nice fluffy blanket. I had chocolate chip cookies on the table and some chips. Austin and Cameron came in the room and sat on either side of me. Being close to them made me happy. 

After watching the movie I got up and Cameron came along with me. I let him in my bedroom as got ready for bed. I quickly brushed my teeth and washed up. I changed in a sleepshirt and Cameron had folded the sheets and changed too. "Can I sleep with you today? As in just sleeping?"

   I nodded and he got in the bed with me. He lay on his back and I snuggled up and lay my head on his chest. I loved hearing his heartbeat. He stroked my hair and back in comfort. I looked up and smiled at him.

"You know I at first wasn't sure at how things were going to be. I had doubts myself. I mean I love these guys and they're my brothers by choice. We had tried before and it always failed. Now I know it was because it was never the right person. There was always one or two of us not happy with the girl. With you, it just is right. We are determined to make it work. It might take time and effort but we are willing to do so. Give us a chance."

My heart just warmed at his statement. "I know and I am willing to try. It's not conventionel. I just worry about what people might say."

"I did that too, but I decided that my own happiness and that of my family comes before anything else. I want you to be happy. If there is anything I can do please tell me or any of my brothers. There's nothing we wouldn't do."

"I know." is all I say. Not knowing how to respond. I feel like such an idiot at my awkwardness but my mind is trying to wrap itself around the idea. I mean yes I love these guys. I love all. I simply have doubts at the how even though people tell me not to worry. Let it go and live your life. See what happens. My mind is all over the place. I sigh and Cameron is just there. He wraps his arms around me, he kisses me on the top of my head.

"Stop worrying and try to get some sleep. It'll work out. You'll see."

I take his advice and will my mind to be empty of all thoughts. After I've done this I feel myself slipping into the wonderful world of dreams...

____

A knock on my door wakes me up and at that moment I notice that Cameron is no longer beside me. I feel lazy and say "It's open, come on in."

The door opens revealing Marshall with a tray of breakfast. "Hey Zephyr, I got you breakfast in bed today. Felt like spoiling you. It's just bacons and eggs, toast, tea, milk, orange juice and I got you a vanilla chocolate chip muffin."

I smile. "I'm not sure if I can eat all that."

"Well if you need help, I am right here." He walks over and the tray is positioned close to me so I sit up and fluff the pillow and put it behind my back. I take the fork and knife and cut the toast with the bacon and eggs on top. It tastes like heaven and I moan. "If you moan like that every time I fix breakfast I'll make it every day."

I laugh at that. "If you make it every day it won't be special you know."

I try to finish my breakfast and Marshall helps with it too. The muffin I keep for later. Hey, a girl needs her muffins right? I know I do anyways. 

After finishing Marshall takes the tray and tells me to get up and be ready in half an hour so he can take my for a walk. I love to walk so I quickly hop in the shower and use my favorie bodywash with orange and sandalwood. It's so sweet and makes me feel good. I brush my teeth. I put on some jeans and a navy blue/white striped shirt. I also put on my walking shoes so no high heels, pumps or flipflops. I am looking forward to the walk with Marshall.

After I have my outfit on I put on some powder so my face isn't as red and do my eyebrows and put on some mascara and a lipstick. I look in the mirror and take a look at myself. I look pretty I think and my eyes sparkle. I know this is the right thing to do. I feel happy but I also know that sometimes your heart says one thing and your mind the other. I need to work on it to get both wanting the same. Not caring what people think.

I'll need to talk to Houston about that. He always knows what to do.

------------------

A/N Well I tried to make the next chapter. Hope you like it! They were just not talking to me. Ugh writers block. Well I hope I can at least update once a week.