depressed

2

"She's waking up" I heard a voice said I was trying to adjust to the light while opening my eyes, I was at the nurse, what the heck happened?, my head hurt like a bitch, then I glanced around the room to see the three girls, oh yeah, I remember. I thought to myself.

"Sweetie what happen with you, those three lovely girls found you lying unconscious in the bathrooms"
I looked at Stephanie as she gave me a deadly glare and mouthed "don't you even dare" I looked at the nurse again to answer her, tell her! My mind spoke.

"I-i  haven't eat anything this morning, I... I guess I was tired, thank you anyway" she looked at me concerned "OK, but I'll call your parents OK?" I nodded and smiled weakly at her, "OK girls you can go if you want thank you for bring her here" she said to the girls.

"Honey are you OK? Why didn't you eat something this morning, I left some pancakes" my mum said concern in her voice as she drove.

"I wasn't in the mood" I replied lowly, "well you should eat in the mood or not, next time if something happen I won't be able to come..."

"OK mum, OK! I won't forget it next time, I'm sorry, can we go home now I'm tired"

"Of course.... Umm... Camila, we will come home late tonight me and your father have a work meeting, I'll leave you some money to order food OK?"
Like I care.

"Yeah whatever"

"OK take care honey, and don't stay up late OK? You have school tomorrow"
Mom said as she and dad were walking out the door.
"OK mum bye" I said shutting the door, the hole house for myself.

I went to my room turned the light off and put my headphones on listening to invisible by a band called 5seconds of Summer, I listened to half the song until I start sobbing hard and thinking about the lyrics and are they related to my life, yeah I know crazy, but it's true.

Every single thing Stephanie said was right, I went to my bedroom bathroom and grabbed a blade.
"This for the bitch I am" and I let the blade kiss my skin slowly letting the red liquid drop from my wrist as I slowly slid down the wall to the hard ground, "and this for the unwanted girl I am" I slid the blade to create another cut, "and this for never been enough to be loved" I slid it into another direction, my sweatpants were wet from the red liquid, but I didn't care, and cutting my wrist wasn't enough so I pulled my shirt off, then positioned the blade on my hip "and this for the future that I'll never have, and for me for being a pathetic ugly bitch" and I slid the blade down hissing at the pain, I throw the blade away and hugged my legs and sobbed until I was tired so cleaned myself and the bathroom and went to my bed crying myself to sleep.

I got up having a massive headache for crying yesterday, and feeling a bit dizzy, I think it's from the blood I lost yesterday. I ate my breakfast as mum was insisted on it, but I wasn't hungry, all I felt was numb, and dizziness, and tiredness, all I want now is to cuddle with my sheets and sleep forever, or to scream on top of my lungs to reveal how much pain I feel.

As soon as I arrived to school, I went straight to my first class, which was French, I sat down in the front hoping that no one will annoy me there, after about 20 min I felt something lend on my head it was a small paper, my homework, oh no! I forgot that shit. God this will hurt like a bitch. I turned around to glance at him, he smile at me a slid his hand around his neck threatening me. I'm done.

I walked out quickly as soon as the bell rang all I can do now is pray.

"Hey Camilla, where do you think you're going, we have a chat remember?" Oh shit. Lord please.