depressed

6

"Oh and zayn, you can stay if you want, I'll call your mother if you wish" she smiled wide.

Oh mum.

"That would be good thank you Mrs. Jasper" zayn said.

"OK then, good night kids, oh and zayn call me Nicol" she smiled then went to her room to get ready for the night shift I guess.

After my parents left, neither one of us talked it was a deep silence yet comfortable, I was in the kitchen preparing some tea, zayn was in the living room watching TV, at least that's what I thought until I heard him clearing his throat, I turn around and shot him a smile even though it's getting awkward.

"Don't forget you got school tomorrow" he spoke breaking the silence.

"Yeah I know... Aren't you going?" I asked.

"Yes but I'll ditch the first two hours, I got some work" he whisper the last words.

"Oh..... Wanna drink some tea?" I smiled for the second time, he respond me by nodding and a smile.

11:36pm

I was laying in my bed starring at the ceiling, it's another sleepless night I guess, I can't sleep but in the same time I'm super tired.

1:03am

Still awake but this time I wish I'm asleep as dark thoughts start getting into my head, I kept on imaging things like what would it feel if I die? Would I see that bright light as they do in movies? The other night, my blood was looking so pure and beautiful in the way it was dropping to the cold floor.

I couldn't stop those thoughts, it was like someone was whispering them in my ear, I suddenly got up from my bed and got out from my room to the guests room wish is the one that zayn is using.

The door was slightly open, I walked in slowly toward his bed he was breathing slowly his mouth slightly open, as small snores came out from his lips, his chest going up and down with each breath he took.

I decided to stop being a creep watching him asleep, and started calling him.

"Zayn? Zayn please can you wake up"

His eyes opening slowly and snapped open when he saw me.

"Camila! Are you OK? What happened?" He panicked.

"It's OK, I'm sorry I woke you up, but I can't sleep, I can't clear my head, it's like my thoughts are eating me alive!" My voice cracked at the end.

"Shhh, c'mon climb in" he pulled me in the bed next to him, and throw the sheets to cover the both of us, and wrapped his strong arms around my small waist. And for the first time in so long I feel warm but not only physically.

My eyes were getting heavier and heavier until they were fully closed.

I woke up to sun light poking from the window curtains, I remembered yesterday's events and felt the emptiness behind me, zayn.
I got up and something on the nightstand it was a small note.

I decided that it wouldn't be a good idea if your parents came in the morning and found us together so.... I left, I had to get dressed anyway, and tell your mother that I'll give her back Mr. Jasper clothes later, now get up rise and shine and pretend that you're a new born, I'll see at school later.

Love you xxx
Zayn.

I got up and prepared myself for school, mom and dad are probably passed out in their room.

Is it normal that no one bothered me lately? I mean... I literally haven't seen Alex nor those bitches.

Not like I would like to anyway.

I walked through the hallway to my first class when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I should've known better, torture, here I am.

I turn around expecting Alex when I met those beautiful hazel eyes. I relaxed releasing it's just him.

"Hey you're good?" He asked smiling at me.

"Umm.... Yeah... Zayn I... I... Uh thank you for yesterda-" he put an index on my lips.
"Shhh, I don't remember.... neither you do, OK?" I nodded slightly.

"Now Camila I need you to be a new girl got it? But I believe that this isn't a right place to this talk OK? What about we go get some ice cream later, huh?"

I smiled for the first time it was a real smile this time.

After school was over, we went to an ice cream shop and played 20 questions, we had a lot of fun, I can't even remember the last time I had fun with someone.

"So what's you're favorite hobby?" I asked him, licking my ice cream.

"I love singing but not as much as I love drawing" he answered crossing his arms and leaning on the table.

"You draw? That's cool!" My smile got wider.

"Yeah.... What about you? What's your favorite hobby?"
I thought and thought about an answer but apparently I don't have one, I mean... Seriously I've never been busy with my life, I barely know myself. GOD I'm fucked up.

"I know what you're thinking about and that's a bullshit, you'll find something sooner or later" his wiled smile held a bunch of emotions, happiness, hope, love...

I think I'm falling for this guy.

He pulled my hand in his and starred at me like I'm the most interesting thing in the world, he see hope in me but apparently there is no hope for me to live in this world.

"I love you" he said.

"You'll get hurt" I said back.

"I'm sure I'm gonna love the pain you'll give me"

"I doubt that, but I'm going to say it earlier. I'm sorry"