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Dinah: *Texting Normani* Come pick me up, I'm drunk.

Dinah [45 minutes later]: Never mind I'm home now.

Normani: I know Dinah, I'm the one that dropped you off.

-

Ally: So should we go to plan B?

Normani: Wouldn't this count as plan G?

Lauren: How many plans do we have? Is there like, a plan M?

Camila: Yeah but you die in plan M, Lauren.

Dinah: I like plan M, I think we should do it now.

Lauren: ....

-

*In the group chat*

Perrie: A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Perrie: The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here"

*Perrie has been removed from the group chat*

-

Lauren: Is something burning?

Camila: *Seductively leaning on kitchen counter* Just my desire for you.

Lauren: ....

Camila: ....

Lauren: The toasters on fire.

-

[The girls are playing soccer]

Ally: Are you upset you didn't get to be on the same team as your girlfriend?

Camila: Have you ever been on the same team as Mani?

Ally: No.

Normani: *Yelling at Lauren* MOVE FASTER YOU DUMB ASS. F-A-S-T-E-R. DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT WORD? IT MEANS MORE FAST!

-

Ally: Oh you guys are home early. What happened?

Normani: We were helping Lauren write her vows, but she kicked us out cause Dinah kept making inappropriate suggestions.

Dinah: How is "Camila, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?

-

[On X-Factor]

Leigh: We can't lost, because we have this. *points to her chest*

Jade: We have heart.

Leigh: Heart? No.

Leigh: Me. I'm pointing to myself. I'm going to win this for us.

-

Lauren: Until I fell in love with Camila, I thought my attraction to woman was purely physical.

Normani: So you were bi... and then you realized you were EVEN MORE bi.

-

Perrie: What does the chef recommend?

Server: Ma'am, this is McDonald's.

-

Normani: My life has just kind of gone down hill since the day I found out it wasn't actually Zac Efron singing in high school musical.

Lauren: Same.

Camila: tHE FUCK YOU MEAN IT WASN'T ZAC EFRON SINGING

-

Jade: *Shows up to rehearsal with bags under her eyes*

Perrie: Will you ever go to sleep at a decent hour?

Jade: Will you ever kiss me?

Perrie: What?

Jade: What?

-

Lauren: [Phone rings] Everybody shut up, its my mom!

Ally: HIIIIIII!

Normani: Oh LAUREN, come back to BED.

Dinah: Pass the weed Laur!

Camila: Put your pants back on Lauren!

Lauren: ....

Lauren: *into the phone* We're doing fine mom.

-

Jesy: *practically crying* I just can't believe you did this to me again.

Leigh: Babe, I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

Jesy:

Leigh:

Jesy: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU-

Leigh: TO USE FABRIC SOFTENER I KNOW. AGAIN, I'M SORRY.

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