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Jesy: This is my ex-girlfriend, Perrie Edwards.

Perrie: You've got to stop introducing me like that...

Perrie: I'm her wife.

-

Someone: Wow, you are so mature for your age!

Camila: Thanks, it's all the past trauma.

Someone: ...

-

Leigh: That's ridiculous, Jesy doesn't have a crush on me!

Jade: Yes she does.

Perrie: Yes she does

The whole fandom: Yes she does

Jesy: Yes I do.

-

Lauren: Small talk is for losers! Rate your current level of existential dread from 1-10.

Camila: *Flirting* Well, usually it's 10, but since you've walked in, it's nonexistent.

Lauren: *Running away while shocked and in gay panic* See you in p.e!!

Camila: You graduated years ago, Lauren!!!??

-

Leigh: I really like Eminem.

Perrie: I prefer skittles

Leigh: I meant the rapper, not the candy.

Perrie: Why would you eat an M&M wrapper?

-

Ally: Whoever ate my waffles, come forward and all will be forgiven.

Lauren:

Dinah:

Normani:

Camila:

Ally: Smart. You knew I would never forgive you.

-

Jesy and Perrie: *Enter the room in a panic and slam the door behind them*

Leigh: Oh no. What did you guys do?

Jesy and Perrie: Nobody died!

Jade: WHAT KIND OF AN ANSWER IS THAT?

-

Random person: Hey, I like your shirt!

Camila: Thanks! My girlfriend Dinah stole it from target for me!

Random person: ...

-

Jade: The human body is made of 70% water. So we're all basically cucumbers with anxiety.

Leigh: Excuse you? With all the salt and alcohol Jesy and Perrie consume, they're more like pickles.

-

*Trying to think of what to get Camila*

Lauren: Shit, think, what does Camila like?

Normani: Stupid things right? What's the stupidest thing you guys can think of?

Ally: *Gesturing to Dinah* She's dating it.

-

Jade: Guys, I think we have a problem.

Perrie: What, the fire?

Jade: No the— wait, what fire?!

Perrie: Oh, nothing. Continue, this seems more interesting.

Jesy, Leigh, and Jade: whAT FIRE PERRIE

-

Normani: What do you guys want to be in your next life?

Dinah: A fish!

Camila: A butterfly!

Lauren: A jaguar!

Ally: *With tears in her eyes* ... Tall

-

Leigh: Why are you throwing so much shade at people today?

Perrie: Because when I throw rocks, Jesy gets mad.

-

Dinah: Camila and I are so close we even finish each other's—

Camila: Sandwiches!

Dinah: ...

Camila: ...

Dinah: So it was you.

-

Jade: *Sees someone doing something stupid*

Jade: haha what an idiot.

Jade: *Realizes that its Perrie*

Jade: Oh god, that's my idiot.

-

Interviewer: Isn't it crazy that we learn so much from the people we spend so much time with?

Normani: I learn a lot from my girls because they make so many fucking mistakes.

-

Leigh: Jesy, it's your turn to give the pep talk again.

Jesy: Fuck shit up, but don't die.

Perrie: *Wiping a tear away* you have such a way with words.

-

Dinah: Mani's mad at me and I'm not sure why.

Lauren: Okay, were you talking right before she got mad at you?

Dinah: Yeah?

Lauren: Well, that's probably why.

-

Jesy: Jade, what did I tell you about calling Perrie the devil?

Jade: ... That it's offensive to the devil?

Jesy: Yes, now apologize!

Jade: ... Sorry devil ...

Perrie: *Standing across the room extremely offended and confused*

-

Camila: When have Dinah and I ever done anything stupid?!

Ally: I keep a list. It's alphabetized, and full.

Dinah: No way. I don't remember doing anything stupid starting with a "Z"

Ally: Remember that time you guys put a zebra in Lauren's room?

Dinah and Camila: *Smiling evilly at the memory*

-

Jesy: I know, I'm a real asset.

Leigh: You're only off by two letters.

-

Ally: Since you won't be able to contact me for two weeks, I've left a bowl of advice on the counter.

Normani: There's only one sticky note in here that says "Camila, Dinah, stop doing that!"

Normani: ...

Normani: No wait, that works.

-

Perrie: *Attempting to cook* Hey, look Jade, I'm melting butter!

Jade: *Sarcastically* Congratulations babe, you now have the cooking skills of a hot day.

-

Lauren: *Chuckles*

Dinah: ???

Lauren: *Laughs*

Dinah: I missed the joke.

Lauren: You are the joke.

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