Heartbroken [COMPLETED]

Chapter 3 | Amal

Author's Note

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatu hu everyone!

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It had been a few days since I had moved to London. I couldn't say I was enjoying it but I had to live with it. London was just not the right city for me but I had no choice. I didn't really understand why he had to move here. Like I knew his job was here, but many people commuted here on a daily basis. And everything in London was just so expensive. I really wanted to go back home to my father and step-mother. 

The house itself was nice but it's size was unnerving to say the the least. I had grown up in a tiny house and my room could barely accommodate my bed and desk. But now the bedroom I slept in had a walk-in closet and more than half the room was empty space despite the fact that there were two massive wardrobes and a king-sized bed. I mean I appreciated the space but was there really any need for it? 

I had been surfing the web for so long. I had been out of university for months now and I still hadn't found a job. 

I sighed. Wardah had called me. I should probably call her back. 

"OH MY GOSH! HER ROYAL HIGHNESS ACTUALLY MANAGED TO PICK UP HER PHONE AND CALL ME BACK." Wardah screamed down the phone. I winced. She just couldn't talk like a normal person. 

"You know I wish you had a volume button..." I answer back to her. I hated this so much. Like I felt so out of place here. I knew nobody. Maybe I should ask Yasir to introduce me to some people because I knew no one...

Wardah was still talking and told me how the spotlight was on her now. Now I was married the attention had shifted from me. Thank Allah (سبحانه وتعلي). 

"What do you think of Yasir?" 

I wasn't really sure yet. He was my husband now but the whole situation was very bizarre. We were strangers that spoke to each other out of courtesy and with politeness. I knew it would take time for anything to develop. But for the time being, I was lost. I was trying my hardest to be a good wife and he was trying his hardest to be a good husband. 

Were we a good match though? Only time would tell I guess. 

I didn't tell Wardah any of this. I didn't want her to worry about me and think that we weren't working out. She liked to jump to conclusions. Yasir was trying, more than me but I just didn't really know what to say or do in his presence. I was an awkward person. You would think three years at university would have instilled in me some manner of social skills but I still was an idiot unfortunately. 

After I had finished my call to Wardah, I decided to call my parents. I waited as the phone was ringing and it went straight to voicemail. I had spoken to them only briefly since I had moved to London but I had been so stressed with sorting out all my stuff that I hadn't actually had a proper chat with them. 

I glanced at the clock. Wow! Time had flown by. Yasir should be coming home soon. And I hadn't even made dinner yet or prayed Asr for that matter. I had about half an hour before he returned. 

I headed to the bathroom to do wudu and pray Asr before I stepped into the kitchen. I fumbled round the drawers a bit deciding on what to make. In the end I decided that lasagne was the best choice. I mean it would take some time to cook in the oven but we could always spend some time together.

These last few days had been hectic and I didn't really feel as if I knew Yasir all that well. He treated me well but we were but strangers so who knows how our relationship would develop? But I knew Yasir was a good man and I'm sure he would prove to be an even better husband. All I had to do was ensure that I was a wife deserving of that love. 

I had just set the mince to cook when I heard the front door open. Yasir was home earlier than expected. I turned around and he smiled at me, giving me salaam. 

"Smells good, what you cooking?" 

"Just some lasagne." 

He left to go pray Asr. By the time he returned, I had put the lasagne and plates out. We sat down at the table and he asked me how finding a job was going. 

"It's not going so well. I just don't know what I want to do. I was thinking maybe I should just temporarily get a retail job so I earn some money."

"No, don't be silly. Get a job that reflects upon your education. You have a degree, utilise it. If you need money, I earn more than enough. Don't get a job simply for the sake of it. Do something you want to do." He had a good point but I felt so useless. It didn't help that I was in a different city where I knew no-one. 

I asked him how work was but he deflected my question. I knew he didn't really like to talk about work.

"Do you not like your job?," I asked him. He didn't say anything but I watched him. He let out a deep breath and looked up at me, 

"I never wanted to go into this. I had a whole different plan for myself. But with the pressure of my parents, I had to listen. They told me to take the offer because it paid well. Like that's literally all people look out. My salary." I didn't really know what to say.

"Why don't you find a new job?" 

"I just can't. My parents would go ballistic. And let's face it one of the reasons your father even chose me as a husband for you was because of my job. Money takes you places I guess. " 

I felt guilty. That statement may have had some truth in it. I didn't really realise that he disliked his job. But I guess there were many things that I would learn over the years. We finished eating and after clearing up we watched TV. I had managed to convince him to watch NCIS with me. It was one of the few programmes I watched but it was losing it's touch. They kept killing off my favourite characters. 

"I don't know why you like this. It's awful." He sat down next to me on the sofa. My automatic reaction had been to tense up but I forced myself to relax. He was my husband after all. But I wasn't really that comfortable with him just yet.