Heartbroken [COMPLETED]

Chapter 37 | Amal

Author's Note

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatu hu everyone!

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It was official. My iddah period was over and I was technically able to marry again. But my father was right all those months ago. Who would want to marry a divorced woman? I know this was all my undoing. I should have thought this through properly, attempted reconciliation. I scolded myself. There was little point in regretting the past. I knew what I had done was the right decision even if there were moments when I felt like it was not. Yasir had tied to get me back, but once he realised that I wasn't going to come back, he changed. He become bitter and angry. Someone I didn't even recognise. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. I did. A lot. But I just didn't think I would ever get over him doing what he did. 

Wardah was happy in her marriage and I was happy for her. They were become closer and closer as the months had gone by and I knew Wardah and Hassan were a good match for one another. They complemented one another well. I think that's where Yasir and I went wrong. We didn't help one another be better people. We just did our own things. It bothered me a lot. Being alone. Not having anyone. But I would have felt even more alone in the marriage. At times, I wish I had remained naive to his secret so we could have continued our life together. 

My biggest issue with this situation was that if I didn't get married, I would never have children. My thoughts were interrupted by my mother walking into the room,

"Have you ate, Amal?" I shook my head. My mother walked out of the room and returned a few moments later with a bowl of fruit.

"Eat this. Make sure you finish all of it." I smiled and took the plate. I loved my stepmother a lot. And I know that they loved me. But lately I couldn't help but think what about if my father and stepmother had had children together. Would they still have cared about me as much? I know it was just my paranoia playing at my head. Ever since the Yasir situation, I felt like I was doubting everyone's loyalty towards me. I wasn't sure who was telling the truth to me and was lying to me. Was everyone just acting to love me? I knew I was being stupid but it just wouldn't leave my mind. I knew my parents were worried about me a lot. They would talk long into the night and I knew it was about me. At times it made me think that my parents had each other, someone they could discuss their issues and problems. I didn't have that anymore and maybe I never would again.