Let Your Heart Rule Your Head

Chapter Fifteen - Are you lonesome tonight?

 Brian and Ruby went back to the waiting room of the hospital, looking for Prudence, but she wasn't there. A doctor walked up to them and Ruby recognised him: it was him who took care of Dennis. They shook hands.
“Miss Franklin, your mother went back home ten minutes ago. She couldn't find you so she asked me to tell you if I saw you.”
“Thank you very much, doctor. And thank you for taking care of Dennis.”
“It's my job, you know.”
“Yes, but you knew he was condemned. For you, it's only your job, for a family that has just lost someone, it means a lot.”
The doctor weakly smiled and patted her shoulder.
“My sincerest condolences. He was a nice young man, quite special for sure, but nice.”
“Yeah” she smiled. “He was special.”
Brian held her a bit tighter and kissed her hair.
“I have to go, now” the doctor whispered. He patted her shoulder one more time before shaking Brian's and Ruby's hands. “Be brave.”
“We will. Thank you.”
The doctor nodded and turned away. He disappeared at a corner. She turned around to face Brian.
“Bri?”
“Yes my Ruby?”
“Can you give me a big hug?”
“Of course my dear, you don't need to ask!” he smiled. He took her in his arms, slowly swinging from one foot to the other. He kissed her forehead her lips.
“Do you want to go home, dear?”
“No... I know I'll feel extremely bad if I go back home. Can we go to a tearoom or something?”
“Sure.”
He took her hand, entertwined their fingers and they walked away. They went out of the hospital and when they found themselves in the street, they looked around to see if a tearoom was near.
“There's one right there!” Ruby said.
“I tested it, it's really bad” Brian whispered. “I found one a bit further.”
“Let's go then.”
She smiled at him and stepped forward. Silently, they walked to the tearoom that Brian knew. It was situated in a narrow street behind the many houses that faced the Charing Cross Hospital. They walked in and were greeted by a waiter.
“Good afternoon, sir, madam. Is it for a tea?”
“We're in a tearoom, I guess so.” Ruby sighed sarcastically.
“Well. There is a table for two against the wall, in the back of the room. Sit down and I'll come.”
“Thank you.”
Brian wrapped his arm around his beloved girlfriend's waist and showed her the way to the table. He pulled her chair and kissed her hair. She sat down and watch him do the same. Their hands joined on the table and stroked one another. The waiter came to them, with two tea lists he gave them. Their eyes read the list and their lips pouted in reflection.
“Do you have some Oolong tea?” Ruby asked.
“No, we don't.”
Brian's eyes wandered.
“You had, last time!”
“We stopped.”
Brian shrugged and looked at Ruby.
“I'm sorry, I thought they'd have some.”
“Oh, it's okay, I'll have a simple green tea.”
“Green tea...” the waiter repeated, scribbling on his notebook. “What will you have, sir?”
“I'll have the same, please.”
Both handed him the tea lists back; the waiter took them and walked away. Ruby suddenly stood up; Brian looked at her quizzically, before realising she was walking in his direction. She stood up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her chin on his collar bones. She smelled his perfume as he tenderly pressed his head against hers. She kissed his neck and his ear. With his fingertips, he stroked her hands before raising an arm and burying his hand in her hair.
“I'm sorry for all this, Bri.”
“Sorry? How can you be sorry? Why could you be sorry?”
“We were supposed to spend a good afternoon, you were supposed to help Roger for something and... I screwed everything up.”
“Ruby, Ruby, Ruby” he repeated. “No one screwed anything. Okay? You couldn't plan what happened. No one could.”
“Dennis could.”
“What?”
“When I visited him on Saturday, he told me about this clock in his head. He said that he knew when he was living something for the last time. He knew that it was the last time he'd see me.”
“Oh...”
“He knew he was dying today.”
“He just had an idea.”
“No, no. He knew. You should have seen him on Saturday, I still don't know if it was a happy or sad day. I took him outside whereas he knew he'd never see the world once again. We were in the hospital garden, you know, near the bench where we sat a short while ago.”
“Yeah, I see.”
“His eyes were... I don't know how to say that. His eyes were shining! He looked like a newborn baby! As if he had never been outside, everything was so colourful, the flowers, the grass... Even ill people looked happy this day. And he said one thing. One single thing before we got in.”
“What was it?”
Ruby looked down.
“I'm ready.”
Her lips trembled and tears rolled down her face, crashing on Brian's shirt. Brian stood up and held her tight against his chest – on which she was crying. His hand softly petted her hair, whispering in her ear “It's alright, love, it's alright.”
“It's not alright, Bri. Dennis is gone. He was so young that's not fair.”
“Have you known a fair world?”
“No, not really.”
“That's why.” he sighed. “Baby, don't cry, I beg you. I hate seeing you cry.”
Brian wiped her tears with his thumbs. He smiled at her.
“A lovely bird crying! Isn't it unfair?”
“Dennis used to tell me things like that... He did last time...” she hiccupped.
“And he was right. He wouldn't want you to cry over him. You told me he was happy to leave, didn't you?”
“Yeah...”
“Trust him. He was happy.”
“A happy hippie he was.”
They both laughed and hugged. Brian saw the waiter coming with two cups on a tray. He told Ruby, who sat down again. The waiter placed the cups before each of them. He left, leaving the note on the table.
“Enjoy your tea my lovely Ruby.”
“Thanks, Bri. Enjoy yours!”
They both raised their cups in front of their face, blowing a bit on the surface so they wouldn't burn their lips. They quietly sipped the tea. “Poor Ruby, and poor Prudence, I hope they'll be okay...” Brian thought. His eyes were stuck on her, who was looking out of the window, her eyes raised to the sky. “Dennis” was all she could think of. Her fingers clenched on the cup she was holding, and Brian noticed it.
“Are you okay, my love?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Thinking about him again, aren't you?”
“Yeah...”
She looked down and felt Brian's fingers making their way to her chin. They raised it, so she faced him.
“Do you want to go home, now?”
“Yes, please.”
He bent over the table to kiss her. They quickly finished their cup of tea and stood up. Brian was about to pay for them two when Ruby stopped him.
“No, Bri, let me pay for once.”
“But, Ruby, I'm supposed to pay.”
“Why would you?”
“I'm a guy... Well, as far as I know, I am one.”
“Being a guy doesn't mean you have to pay everything. It shouldn't be automatic.”
Brian raised his eyebrows.
“It's the first time I hear a girl say that.”
“Let me pay, please.”
He shrugged and stepped aside. Ruby paid for the two cups and they walked out. Brian kissed her hair.
“I'll repay you.”
“No, Bri. You paid me everything since we met. It's my turn.”
He kissed her on the cheek. On their way to Edith Grove, Brian was talking about Smile, trying to cheer her up a bit with music. They tried to imagine what Freddie looked like.
“Maybe he's a midget” he laughed.
“Or maybe he's got a moustache!”
They laughed and kept walking. Seeing that she told jokes in return made Brian feel better. “Try to cheer her up until you arrive at Edith Grove!” They both laughed together and talked about the band, music in general, Brian's hair, and... Brian's hair.
“It's so fluffy I'm gonna diiie!” Ruby exclaimed, bursting out in laughter as she touched his mass of curly hair. He giggled and hugged her. A few minutes later, they found themselves in Edith Grove. Brian faced Ruby, and suddenly, her expression was sad again.
“You're at home now, treasure.”
“Yeah... Do you want to come in?”
“No, thank you. I don't want to disturb anybody.”
“You're not.”
“Your mother and you need to rest a bit, etc. I don't want to interrupt anything.”
“Fine.”
She looked down and sighed. Brian hugged her, stroking her hair. He tenderly kissed her lips, letting their tongues play together. He broke off their embrace and cupped her face in his hands.
“My beautiful dove. I can't believe I'm dating such a gorgeous girl! And you know what?” he whispered, getting a bit closer.
“No?”
“I love her so much I could... die for her.”
He was about to kiss her, but she stepped backward.
“Don't talk about dying, Bri, I beg you.”
“I'm sorry my dear!” he stuttered, blushing. “I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm a fucking bastard!”
“Hey, Bri, you're not a bastard. You've never been one.”
She snuggled against him.
“And I could die for you too, my love.” she whispered.
He ran a hand through her hair.
“I'm sorry for being so stupid...”
“Hey, it's okay. Let's forget it.”
“Okay...”
“I'm going home now.”
“Yeah.”
She stood on tip-toe and tenderly kissed him on his lips, playing carefully with them. She pulled his lower lip with her teeth and kissed him again. When they broke off the embrace, she stroked his cheek with a smile.
“See you tomorrow, lovely boy?” she whispered.
“Only if you want to.”
“I do.”
“Then, see you tomorrow.”
He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. He watched her climbing the three steps that led to the entrance door of the building. She waved at him before closing the door behind her and climbing the stairs very fast. She suddenly heard a faded voice in the corridor. She carefully opened the door of her flat and closed it; she hanged her coat on the coatrack. She could hear Elvis singing in the living room. She walked to the living room where she saw her mother sitting on the couch, facing the turntable on which an EP was played. She was watching it rotating, absently.

                            Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
                          Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
                                   Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?