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Ah the joy of drunk texts

Frank: I wasn't that drunk dude

Gerard: babe, you raced to pet smart, grabbed a bird and a turtle, put an orange hat on and sang "WHAT'S GONNA WORK?! TEAMWORK B**CHES!!!"

Frank: ...oh no.

Gerard: We are banned from pet smart

Frank: I'm sorry

Gerard: you're lucky you're cute

___________________________

Brendon: I wasn't that wasted.

Ryan: ... you ran around the neighborhood scaring the crap out of people by singing "Life of good neighbors, State farm is there!"

Brendon: ... yeah sounds like something I'd do

Ryan: three kids thought you could actually teleport

Brendon: awesome

___________________________

Pete: so how was I?

Patrick: you kept singing "FE-DORA DORA DORA THE EXPLORER DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO FE- DORA"

Pete: damn I'm clever

Patrick: you kept speaking Spanish, how the hell are you fluent in a different language when you could barely speak English?

Pete: I didn't even know I knew Spanish until now

Patrick: I'm...

___________________________
Melanie: how drunk was I fam?

Ashley: when I drove you home you kept crying over a dead deer on the highway

Melanie: oh so not that bad

Melanie: dude, you kept saying that it was Bambi's mom and that one of us needed to sing to it so that Bambi could be happy again.

Melanie: ... still not that bad.

Ashley: you jumped out of the car

Melanie: yeah okay I was pretty bad

___________________________

Tyler: so uh, what exactly happened last night?

Josh: you don't remember?

Tyler: dude, if I did remember, I wouldn't be so confused as to why I'm on the roof with a passed out squirrel in my hair.

Josh: you tried to get back at Fluffy again and...

Tyler: and?

Josh: you were eating cereal at the time...

Tyler: and?

Josh: when the squirrel was in front of you, you yelled out "silly rabbit, trix are for kids!"

Tyler: oh?

Josh: then hit it with the cereal box

Tyler: Jesus Christ

Josh: I couldn't get you down. Too busy laughing

Tyler: HE WOKE UP AW CRAP

___________________________

What time is it? It's summer time. We on vacation.

Dudes. The amount of views this story has is fricken SICK. Thanks guys, srsly.

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