Tell me all about it (Drarry)

Tell me all about it

Draco stares at the boy in front of him, he has grown, from the little kid he met on first year, the one that refused his friendship, to who he is now, and he's apologizing, and understanding, and Draco can't believe it, because if this boy, that suffered every single one of Draco's mistakes as a personal loss can find it in his heart to forgive him, to understand why he didn't have another choice but to do as he did, then why can't the whole world? Why does everyone keep bringing him down for things he can't change? Things he regrets, things that have always weighted him down?

Harry has a funny look on his face as he looks around, so Draco stays silent and looks around with him, both boys end up staring at the edge of the tower. "So, you were actually here... I was never sure" he says out of the blue, because the silence around them feels too full of unsaid things, and it's late, and if 1 in the morning is not the ideal time for honesty then such a time does not exist.

"Yeah... I was standing right over there, under my invisibility cloak" Harry answers pointing to a point close to the door "I saw you come in, Dumbledore fixed me with a binding jinx, I couldn't move, so I just kept on watching, I heard everything, and I was scared, I could see Dumbledores strength starting to fail, and you... I could see the uncertainty in your eyes Malfoy, I could see you wanted to believe what he was saying, wanted to believe that he could protect you, you and your whole family, and he could have done it, I'm sure of it, I was straining against the binding, I wanted to tell you, that it was okay, that it would be okay, that you could pick your own way, that you could be free... free in a way I wasn't, even tough I hadn't grasped the concept yet back then, then I saw everything go wrong, the other death eaters arrived, I saw as you put your mask back in place and I wanted to scream, I wanted everyone to stop, and then Snape came in, and Dumbledores begging scared me, and then he looked at me for a moment and Snape casted the curse... and everything is blurry from then, I know I chased you, Snape urged you to go on... I wanted you to come back, Dumbledore was dead, but I could protect you, I would've if you had given me the chance, but you left, and Snape... it was a horrible night".

Draco stares at the black haired boy, not being able to believe, because from his perspective the decision sounds so easy, he should've turned back, and gone over to the good side, that would have changed it all, or maybe not, but they'll never know.

"It was" he says, deciding that if Harry is being honest, he deserves the same of him "I was so scared Potter, I can't even begin to tell you, when I went out or the Room of Requirement and your friends were there I panicked, they would have killed them, I was sure of it, I set up the bomb in hope that my companions would overlook them, but they followed, the battle was horrible, I was scared of hitting them, I was scared of being killed, I wanted to move on, but was scared of what was waiting for me on top of the tower, that imposible task the Dark Lord had set up for me." Draco keeps going lifting the sleeve of his robes to show Harry the dark mark, Harry stares at it, and Draco is surprised because everyone stares at his covered arm in disgust because they know what the robes hide, but Harry, he stares at the tattoo with a look of immense sadness "I never wanted it you know?" He says snapping Harry's stare back to his eyes "I was younger, stupid, caught up in trying to make my father proud, but I was not a dark wizard, I didn't want to become one, father made me take it, and now I'm marked for life, set apart, this right here, is undeniable proof that I was on the wrong side... that Draco Malfoy is every bit as bad as they made him up to be on the war records" he says rubbing the mark, and staring at it hard, as if he could erase it by pure willpower.

"But, he's not" Harry mumbles "he's not even bad at all, I'm so sorry this all happened to you."

Draco takes a deep breath and continues "I heard you calling out for Snape you know? I tried to stop but he pushed me on, and as soon as I passed the magical barriers I was a goner, I couldn't have come back if I wanted to, which I think I did, but instead I went on and Apparated to Malfoy Manor, I hadn't been there since the summer, I stayed at Hogwarts for winter holidays for the first time in my life, for the wrong reasons, I couldn't face my father while the cabinet was not yet working, arriving back, I was expecting so many things Potter, my worried mother, maybe a proud father, although I didn't hold much hope on it, I was almost sure I would be meeting them with their ever present cold demeanor, I even expected aunt Bella, but when I arrived he was there, they were all sitting around the dinner table, he didn't have time to say much before Snape and the others arrived, he told me I had done a good job, and if there was something I needed to absolutely believe that what I had done was wrong it was The Dark Lords praise, but I bowed my head and thanked him, I could feel my moms fear rolling towards me, she was scared I would take a wrong step, scared he might still kill me, but he turned to Snape and I was allowed to go up to my room."

Draco leans his head back, all this memories are overwhelming, he has tried so hard to stop the flux of memories from coming back to him, for 2 years, but doing so, has made them even more painful to revisit, and he wonders if Potter is not so mistaken there, maybe for tonight, they can travel down memory lane together, although what a dark one it is.

"I stayed there over summer and then came back to Hogwarts, it was devastating, I had taken to call this castle my second home, sure, I never felt as welcome as you probably, but I had a place here, and a family, a house. People admired me, or respected me out of fear, it was not ideal, I had few true friends, but those I had were amazing... but then that year, the castle was different, you could feel the darkness hanging over it, the Carrows teaching, Snape as a headmaster, the punishments were out of control, The Cruciatus curse Potter, on 11 year olds, I could see myself at that age, Hogwarts seemed like the most amazing thing in the world, all this possibilities, new friends, new life, learning magic, it was perfect, and yet, here they were, they're first year turned into a nightmare... I had never wanted to go back to Malfoy Manor so much in my life, which is saying something cause things were not any better at home, the Dark Lord had taken the Manor up as headquarters, and when I finally went back for Easter holidays I had a plan. I would stay out of it, pretend I did not exist, hope against hope that the Dark Lord would overlook me for the mere fact that I was young and unprepared, but my parents had failed him too much, and done too little too late to appease him, so I was forced to torture and kill those who displeased him, most I didn't know, which didn't make it easier, but definitely those I knew were the worst... I always tried to fall back behind the others, leaving the dirty work to those who seemed to enjoy it, but sometimes I had to do it, there was no escaping, I took the food to the dungeons daily, and saw as Luna looked more like a ghost of the girl she once was each day, we didn't talk, but I could see the pain in her eyes, and I think she might've seen it in mine, because there was understanding there as well. And then you came, I was terrified, how could I hand you to the Dark Lord? You of all people, The Chosen One... but then, how could I lie? I settled for a middle ground like I had been doing for a while, said I didn't know... stupid and cowardly Draco Malfoy" he mumbles, the self hate in his words clear.

"You saved our lives" Harry protests and Draco let's out a humorless laugh.

"Not for trying too hard tough, I should've, I should've told them it was not you immediately, I should've helped you escape, I should've gone with you, you saved their lives, you and Dobby, I did nothing, but stand back and see everything play out before me, every time, and I regret it, to the point that it keeps me up at night, all the what ifs" Draco stops talking because Harry pulls at the hem of his robes.

"Come here" he says patting the space next to him "please" and slowly he lays back, until his head is resting on the floor, eyes trained on the sky, and Draco obliges, he crawls slowly next to Harry and lays back, keeping his distance.

"Isn't the sky beautiful tonight?" Harry asks and Draco just nods "we couldn't have picked a better night, don't you think?".

"A better night for what?" Draco
asks turning his head to look at Harry, who looks back at him.

"To let it all go, talk it trough... it's all we need, you and me, so I'm ready. Tell me all about it Draco".

Draco smiles at the sound of his name.

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