Tell me all about it (Drarry)

Does it matter?

Draco stares at the sky, Harry wasn't wrong; it is beautiful tonight, it reminds Draco of their first trip to Hogwarts, the small boats sliding along the dark surface of the lake, and the castle standing against the starry sky, it had been a beautiful sight, all the lights on, and Hogwarts had always had this welcoming vibe, magical, it felt like home, even before setting foot inside it. He had been riding the boat with Crabbe and Goyle, Pansy had also joined, they knew each other from before, they had talked so much about how it would be like when they finally got to go to school, he remembers looking across to Pansy and her giving him the biggest smile he had ever seen on her until then, Draco had returned it, they were 11, and it was the happiest of days...

"Do you remember our first trip across de lake?" He asks Harry and can almost hear the smile on his voice when he speaks "yeah... it was amazing, I couldn't bring myself to believe I actually belonged here, the smooth lake, the lights coming out of the windows of the most magical place I had ever seen, after seeing Hogwarts there was just no denying the fact that I had actually entered a magical world, I didn't believe it until then, looking at it from across the lake I felt... I felt at" "home" both of them say together, it's good to know that they share that experience.

He turns his head to find a pair of green eyes already looking at him. "First year was crazy wasn't it?" Harry asks.

[I've smiled more tonight than on the past 2 years] Draco thinks as his lips twitch up almost involuntarily "I guess it was".

"Isn't it crazy to think that we met back then? It's been 9 years... I remember it quite clearly, I was freaking out, I must admit I spent half of my time in Hogwarts freaking out about something, but that was scary, when I heard about the sorting, people were talking about a kind of test, and I knew nothing, how was I supposed to be sorted? I could hear Hermione intoning under her breath and Ron was pointing around, marveling about things his brothers had told him and he know knew were true, and then you came in. This little blond boy walking towards me, drawling on about how Harry Potter was at Hogwarts, all heads turning to me, the whispers, I was not used to them, I wanted to blend back, but you walked straight to me, I recognized you, you know? From Madam Malkins shop".

"Yeah... crazy, 9 years ago and still to the day it's the worst first impression I've ever made" Draco says thinking back to it, it had been surreal, he had been planning for it for so long, and then he walked up to Harry... the famous Harry Potter, and he looked so lost, and he had Weasley with him, how could such a famous boy pick such poor company? Had been his first thought, and he had gone over to help him out, blinded by blood supremacy as he was, even at 11 he hadn't been able to see that Harry actually enjoyed the red haired boys company, more than he could have ever enjoyed Draco's it turned out.

"Well, you weren't very nice... my first thought is that your head was a bit too full of yourself, but if you must know... my second one was that you were very cute".

Draco coughs, he isn't sure he heard right [Harry Potter thought me cute] his thought are too scrambled to actually form a coherent one to say out loud, so he just clears his throat and keeps on staring at the sky.

"You tried to do me in so many times tough" Harry says and Draco can't help but agree internally [why?] he has never been able to really answer that. Draco remembers the time when his decisions seemed so simple, everything had been a matter of black or white, either you were with him or against him, the beliefs his father had imprinted upon him had seemed definite, as if things could not be any other way, blood status was everything, his last name was everything. Draco hates it, he hates it that the erroneous ideas of the man he had tried so hard to impress his whole life had ruined what could, what should have been a happy life, he hates it that even after all he can't help but love his father, because of the fact that he is his father, and there's no way, even after he ruined Draco with his own mistakes, that Draco could hate him, there were times when he felt like he should, just after he took the mark... Draco wanted to hate his father, hate him for forcing him to do it, hate him for his mistaken ideals, most of all he wanted to hate him for taking the prospect of a happy life away from Draco's reach, but then, after the war... the war changed everything, because after staring into deaths eyes uncountable times, after obeying and defying Voldemort, after seeing Crabbe being consumed by fiendfyre, Blaise gone missing, loyal and witty Blaise, gone... face after face of friends, classmates, strangers dead... killed by Draco's side, Hogwarts the home of all his dreams and aspirations, of all those memories, in ruins, destroyed in a senseless war, why were they even fighting anymore anyways? There had been nothing to fight for, for the greater good? For pure-blooded families to take over? Draco had never heard of an unworthier cause, and after seeing all of this, after it was finally over, seeing the Weasleys mourning a lost son, the werewolf Lupin lying down empty staring eyes that would never see anything again, and besides him, his wife, Draco's own cousin, the war had stopped them from ever getting to know each other, after hearing the despair in the voices of 14 year olds looking for lost friends, after seeing parents staring at their dead kids, with that empty stare Draco had come to associate with himself during those dark months under the Dark Lords reign, after all of it, Draco couldn't find it in himself to hate.

[decisions became so difficult, a 17 year old making the choices of an adult, no wonder it all went so wrong...]

Harry snaps him out of his deep thinking, again taking his prolonged silence as a signal to keep going "starting with the duel, Ron saved me on that one, I had no idea what a wizards duel was, and then the flying classes, although I guess I need to thank you for that one, then there was Norbert, and I'm pretty sure you bailed on me in the forbidden forest".

Draco remembers all of those, except... "who's Norbert?".

And Harry sits up, startling Draco a little bit "you mean to tell me... you don't know who Norbert is?".

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Harry is enjoying the night, the slight breeze and the boy next to him clear his head in a way he hadn't been able to do for a while.

"Norbert is the name of Hagrids dragon, remember? You tried to catch us when we saw him off, after reading that letter inside Rons book, we all got caught anyways so it didn't work very well".

Draco doesn't move "did he actually name a dragon Norbert?".

"Yeah, even gave him a teddy bear" Harry says, unable to prevent the smile from showing on his face "and by the way, we found out later on that it was a Norberta".

Draco snorts, [not really a laugh] thinks Harry [but the closest we've gotten].

"I can't believe it" Draco says and Harry nods to himself, he remembers when it happened neither of the three had been able to believe what Hagrid had done, but like always, they had stuck by him, out of pure love and loyalty towards the man.

"I'm sorry for dumping you in the forest, but I got seriously scared" Draco says and Harry winces, he can almost feel the pain in his scar back. "It's okay, I would have ran with you if I had been able to, but the pain was blinding".

"And I guess I didn't know what I had in store for me. Those were the good days, it hurt a few couple times in a year, later on it was a constant pain, a reminder of the threat hanging over us, meeting Voldemort as half a man he was back then, staring at me from Quirrels head was way less terrifying than meeting face to face with him later on, the red eyes, the unforgiving stare, the evil aura, it was horrible..."

Draco moves almost unconsciously to the side, getting an inch closer to Harry. Who lays back down.

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Horrible, Draco can't find a strong enough word to describe the experience of being the receptacle of the Dark Lords attention, and he was on his side, and only from sixth year, he can't imagine how Harry faced him again and again, year after year and never yielded to the darkness like he did, [not by choice] a voice in his head argues, "does it matter?" Draco says in a whisper, and Harry looks at him weirdly, so Draco only says "horrible doesn't even begin to cover it...".

Harry seems to let it go and they both go silent again.

"There was also the troll accident, but I had nothing to do with that one, you can blame it on me if you want to Potter but you never needed me to land yourself in trouble". Harry smiles to the sky, although Draco can see it from the corner of his eye, in the moonlight, Harrys smile almost shines. "Let's make it half, half of it was my own fault, but you landed me on half of my detentions Malfoy".

Draco shrugs there's just not denying that, and he has to admit Harry had detentions so often that Draco always saw him rushing through dinner before leaving either for the dungeons, or McGonagalls office, or wherever his next detention was set to be.

Draco starts looking for the constellation that gave him his name, just to distract himself, he can't say that he didn't know before that he noticed Potter way too much, more than was healthy, but he always tried to ignore it, because it's Harry, and Draco could never admit to anyone the feelings he might or might not have had towards the boy, but so many years have gone past, and tonight, under the stars, with no one intruding, there's just not hiding it anymore, because nothing he ever tried changed the fact that ever since he started reading about him, Draco had been hopelessly in love with Harry Potter.

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And there it is, Draco's confession, at least to himself!
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