Tell me all about it (Drarry)

Compassionate

Harry closes his eyes, afraid Draco will see how affected he is in them, Draco's touch almost burns, and after feeling nothing for so long Harry wants to laugh of how amazing the feeling is. [I can't believe I'm holding Malfoy's hand] where did that courage came from, he has no idea, but he's glad once more to be a Gryffindor, he opens his eyes slowly to find that Draco is trying to do the same thing, eyes closed, red cheeks and the rest of his body frozen, he worries for a moment that the boy doesn't want to hold his hand but the moment he tries to take it back Draco's hold tightens, leaving the warm feeling inside Harry stronger than ever.

"So, should we do 6th year?" His voice sounds a little strangled and he tries to hide it with a cough, but Draco is not paying attention, his hand tightened around Harry's in an iron grip and his blush is turning a deeper red, Harry has the feeling that this is an angry blush.

"We talked that one through" is all Draco says before taking a deep breath and relaxing back into silence.

[We kind of did] Harry's inner voice says, but deep down he knows there is an important part of sixth year they haven't talked about yet, and they need to, at least Harry needs to, because it has been eating him up since then.

"Not all of it..." he knows that the blond boy knows what he's talking about, but still it takes Draco a couple seconds to nod and turn to look at Harry.

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It only takes Draco a moment to realize what Harry is talking about, it's all in his eyes, as always, the thing is, he doesn't want to talk about it. 6th year had been hurtful, his life had been full of pressure and disappointments, and he had always been a funny child, all ragged edges and cold masks to hide behind, but then in sixth year he suddenly felt like an adult, and his cold mask had to be turned into one of proudness, he acted proud about the task that had been set upon his shoulders, proud to belong to such a pure family, proud to be doing what he was doing, because simple coldness wasn't enough to hide the fact that Draco Malfoy was breaking under pressure, that the fear and threat of the Dark Lord was controlling his life, and so he had bragged about it, and been so ashamed when he caught Potter spying, he had kept it hidden, from Snape most of all so that it could take as long as possible, long enough to look for a way out of it, a way he never found...

Draco always took a special care in not getting too attached to things, to people, nor father, or Crabbe and Goyle, Pansy and Blaise... everyone he ever met; because he was smart, or so he thought, how can you get hurt when there's no one close enough to hurt you?

But then, there comes a time in everybody's life, when you need someone, someone to listen, to care, someone who'll be there, and when that time came Draco Malfoy had found himself utterly alone, not to the naked eye, to everyone else he was always surrounded by people, during lessons and banquets, he walked the hallways flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, shared the dorms with Blaise and spent hours in the library with Pansy, a few of the other 6th years tried talking to him and he complied, and talked and laughed, but deep inside he knew he had no one he could turn to, and that had been the drop that broke his world.

"Why would you want to talk about that day?" He wonders out loud, and is unsurprised to see that Harry doesn't have a reply, at least not immediately, so he lets him be.

It had been a very bad day, he had skipped Charms and lunch and had been in the room of requirement, for a very long time, and still no results... he couldn't do it, it had been the first time that it dawned on him with such certainty, he had to do it, but he couldn't, the Vanquishing Cabinet just wouldn't work, he had had ups and downs the whole year, sent a couple things and they returned untouched, no way to know it they were actually getting anywhere or just sitting there inside the doors Draco himself had just closed, after a while he tried with birds, and all of them died, the stupid thing was, that Draco had never killed anything before, he used to take care of the birds that always settled on the trees of Malfoy Manor during summer, and he would observe the beautiful butterflies that flew around his mothers garden for hours, he lost count of the times he asked his father for a pet before he allowed him to have one of the Malfoy owls, he had felt so sick when one of the peacocks in the Manor had died overnight, it was the first time he remembers crying, actually crying in front of people, [compassionate] mother had called it; [weak] father responded, and from then on, Draco stopped crying, he learned to keep all of those weak emotions behind a carefully built mask. All the way up until 6th year, because he was failing horribly in his task to fix the Cabinet, for the cabinet was broken, and so was he.

"Because I couldn't understand it back then, and you asked why I thought I owed you any apologies at all, and here's the main answer, you were not okay, I saw you, and I ended up hurting you in a way I never thought I would, I never wanted to hurt you... sure, I pretended not to like you, but I nearly killed you that day..." Draco closes his eyes at the small break in Harry's voice, he can't help but love all the emotions this boy shows. But still he doesn't believe Harry owes him an apology.

"You nearly killed me that day... yes; but in the moment I kind of wished you had" he squeezes Harry's hand to stop him from speaking, for he seems agitated and the look in his eyes nearly breaks Draco's heart "look, that day, when I wasn't able to make any improvements on the Cabinet I came down to the second floors restroom, because I couldn't stand to stare at my failure any longer and I needed to be alone, I talked to Myrtle from time to time, if only to remind myself that I wasn't only one of the Dark Lords minions, when I arrived she left me alone, I think she started picking up on my moods, and could tell I wanted some time by myself, I walked straight to the sinks and walked around them, stopped for a moment in the one with the carved snake, wondering about you... wondering why it couldn't be me who everyone loved, why I had to be the bad guy? And as I came to a stop in front of the sink that faced the door, and stared at myself in the cracked mirror it dawned on me what I had become, because I felt sure that even on a clear mirror I would have seen the cracks in me, I had become the thing I swore I wouldn't, and even then, I was failing, I'd never be the good guy because it was not written for me, and I couldn't be the bad guy because I was to compassionate... too weak... the tears came out of nowhere and Myrtle tried to comfort me, she had never seen me cry, no one ever had, but for mother and father, and then when I thought I couldn't feel any worse I looked up and you where standing there, staring at me at my lowest point, getting finally what you always wanted, I was done. Even as I turned around drawing my wand I wasn't sure I wanted to duel with you, it was all a blur, and I hated myself for what was happening and I hated father and Voldemort, and Snape for pretending to care for me, and for a moment I almost hated you; for being there, and in that small moment I tried casting the curse I most regret; if you had waited, you would have seen it didn't work on you, because I wanted to... but the truth was I didn't mean it. Before I could finish you casted a spell I didn't know, and suddenly I couldn't breath and I was falling and the water was soaking by robes and you were kneeling by my side, and I could only think that this was for the better, and that there were worse and more painful ways to die... but I didn't die..." by the time Draco finishes talking he has nearly lost the feeling in his hand for Harry is holding it way too tight, but he says nothing.

"I don't know what I would have done if you'd died, I couldn't have lived with myself," [weak] a small voice inside Draco mumbles and he shakes his head, [compassionate] is the only word he should think of "when I saw you through the mirror I couldn't believe it, it couldn't be you... and when you drew your wand believe me when I say I drew mine acting on instinct, but then I should've dropped it, i should have gone to you, you needed someone, I'd love and hate to think that you needed me... I'm so sorry Draco, I truly am so so sorry".

The tears streaming down Harry's face leave silver lines across his cheeks, reminding Draco of his reflection on that mirror so long ago, cracked, broken, he can't let this boy go down that same road, not when he loves him as much as he does.

"I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago".

The small smile that lights up Harry's face is stained by the tears that he just doesn't seem to be able to stop, but it's okay, Draco has finally learned that emotions are okay...

[compassionate]

It's the only word that comes to mind...

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Hey guys! New chapter! I hope you like it!

Sorry again it took me the whole week, I'm having trouble with my ideas, They're becoming difficult to write):

Also, we are almost at the end and if you think there are other things these two should talk through, I'm happy to add chapters for you guys, so just let me know!

Vote and comment if you'd like and most of all, keep on enjoying the story!