My Name Is Alexander [LAMS]

Make It Stop

A/N: Im so sorry for taking so long, writers block was being a bitch (like always) I knew what I wanted to write but I didn't knew how so I ended up writing and deleting this chapter like a hundred times. And plus this week was draining as fuck I'm so sorry guys! I hope you like the chapter!

A/N2: I also wanna thank BizarreDuck, this angel of a person is helping me edit my grammar horrors in the story so give them a lot of love for that, now your eyes don't have to bleed xD

And he suddenly woke up, panting and sweaty. He felt rough hands holding him tight but when he opened his eyes there was nothing there. It had been just a nightmare. Just another one. His head was screaming and his heart begged for comfort while he himself only wanted relief. He looked at the bathroom door and thought, it would be so easy..

Just grab the razor and draw a small line of red on his arm. Just one more. Just one more time. Fight pain with more pain.

He shut his eyes tight and tried to fight the urge. He would probably be better off dead, he wanted to be dead. No more nightmares, no more fear. Only eternal darkness, a dreamless sleep from which he would never wake up, no more King, no more pain, nothing. Just peace and silence.

And god did he for once begged for silence. He never had liked the quiet before but right now that's all he wanted. He wanted his head to just shut up, to stop crying and screaming at him and repeating those memories over and over and over and over and over again.

He just wanted everything to stop.

He looked at the bathroom once more, almost getting up but–

No.

He couldn't.

He had promised John—

Wait.

John.

—~•~—

John had never been more relieved that his dad's room was downstairs when he heard someone knocking at his window. He opened it to find a sobbing Alexander, his face red and his hands hold a small lion stuffed animal. He took the small boy on his arms without a question and carefully put him on his bed.

The Caribbean boy wordlessly wrapped his small arms around John's torso, staining his shirt with tears. John hugged him back and softly caressed his soft hair.

"Lex? Is there anything I can do?"

"Make it stop"

"What?"

"My head, it doesn't shut up John. Just please, make it stop"

"Alex.."

"I didn't ask for any of this!" He cried. "I just want it to be over, I just want it to stop!"

He sniffed and grabbed John's shirt tighter as if he were holding for his dear life.

"John...If I tell someone will it stop?"

—~•~—

The next day after school the two boys went to Martha. Alex was fidgeting and sweating the whole time, he definitely was regretting this. He should've just kept his mouth shut, he shouldn't have said anything. John grabbed his hand sweetly and rubbed his knuckles with his thumb reassuringly.

Martha will probably hate me.

She'll be disgusted and they'll send be back.

She'll know I'm just I a dirty, filthy, impure, worthless–

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt two delicate arms around his small frame. Martha was sobbing on his shoulder, hugging him tight.

"Everything will be okay" She whispered. "Everything will be ok dear. Oh my poor girl...You should've told me. My little girl..Everything will be alright, I promise you Alexandra"

John watched the scene on front of him with tenderness, and a little bit of discomfort. He felt like he was intruding in something very intimate and shouldn't be watching. Just when he was about to turn around and leave a hand grasped his wrist and he was pulled into the hug by Martha.

Everything was going to be okay.

—~•~—

A few weeks later everything had gone better than Alex expected. Turns out there were cameras on the teacher's offices, including King's. The whole scene was recorded and it was more than enough to put him behind the bars. Alexander could finally go to school without being afraid, he felt safe.

He walked through the halls happily when he felt someone watching him.

He thought of King, but it couldn't be, he is in jail.

And that's when he noticed.

Everyone had their eyes on him.