Soulmates Are Harder Than I Thought • Lams

Chapter XIV: Downhill And Under The Table

"What?" Eliza asked. Did she heard right? Alexander was also John's soulmate?

"Nothing. Nothing Eliza I was just ranting! Talking without thinking!" said John quickly. 'How could you be so stupid!?' He told himself. He was already at the verge of tears right now. This couldn't be happening, not today. "It's not."

"John, Alex is your soulmate too?" she asked, somehow still calm.

"Eliza..." his voice cracked, but he wouldn't deny anymore. "Eliza please, you can't tell him!" he said desperately, if Alexander found out everything would go to shit, he managed to hide it so well, or at least he thought so, and just because of one simple slip up, everything would be ruined, because he couldn't shit his own mouth up. "If he found out–"

"Why didn't you tell him?" she interrupted. Eliza stood up from her bed and walked to the bathroom, away from Peggy. "You could've told him, you know?"

"Eliza, I can't tell him, and you won't tell him either... okay?" John begged, his eyes watering even more and a small tear falling. "If he found out, who knows how he could react!?"

"But– John, listen, he's also your soulmate!" interrupted Eliza. "You should tell him and let him make the decision of who he wants!"

"Eliza he's already happy with you! I can't get in the way of that!" said John sitting down more comfortably. "If I did... it would just... I would fuck everything up!"

"John, you should tell him, you can't get in the way of his decision. Please John, just tell him!"

"No, Eliza... please, respect my decision." he whimpered. There was a silence in both lines, John was scared, and Eliza still shocked; when finally, Eliza spoke up again.

"Listen, John, I won't tell him." she said. "I respect your privacy and decisions and I won't get in the way of them, but if you don't tell Alex before you graduated, I make sure he finds out. Because this kind of thing, it's very important. Understood?"

"Understood..." whispered John after a long sigh.

"Good. Now sleep, you need it. I know your father and I hope you're okay. Stay safe." she said and hung up.

John placed his phone back on the table again, and breathed deeply. Eliza knew now, it was all his fault. When John was nervous and panicked, he blabbered, he told things he shouldn't say to the wrong people, and now, Alexander's soulmate, Eliza, knew. John was lying when he tried to convince himself that he wasn't nervous or terrified. He had Alex, even if it was just as a friend, and to lose that would be painful; also, Alex finding out because Eliza told him would be even worse, because John didn't told Alexander personally. Every single step that led to that moment, was just leading to John's end, to lose everything he was trying so hard to keep: Alexander. He promised himself various times to let Alexander go, to stop being friends because it was hurting himself, but every single time, the Caribbean managed to charm himself another piece of John's heart. When you try to push the truth away, it just comes back at you even stronger. That little piece of knowledge was taught to him by his mother, but little 12 year old John shrugged it off, he really shouldn't've, because now, he could be close to losing everything.

It was hard for him to sleep that night, but he managed to do it. Next day, he woke up to his blaring alarm, making him groan. There were many text messages, most of them by Laf, Herc, or Peggy, but quite frankly, he didn't care for any of them at the moment, he just wanted to take a bath, and if possible, forget all his problems while he was at it. He stood up and after picking out a towel, walked inside the bathroom and turned on the water, while he was letting the bathtub fill up, he tied his hair up in a messy bun, washed his face with expensive face washes, and opened his cabinet. 'I deserve a bath bomb, I will give myself one, I've been a good boy.' He thought and chuckled out-loud after picking up one.