Soulmates Are Harder Than I Thought • Lams

Chapter XXVI: I Need To Fix This

'I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like an idiot. I acted like a fucking idiot.'

Was all that went through John's head. He had tears brimming his eyes, they were right. They were completely right, he had been thinking only of himself, not thinking how it might've affect Alexander or Eliza...

Eliza. Oh god, was be rude to her. He shouldn't've. After all he's been through, and Eliza never even felt jealousy once, and he straight out told her that he regretted trusting her, which was a complete lie. If there was anyone to blame for all his own suffering, it was himself, and no one else, all his fault. How could he not see it earlier?

Everything could've been avoided if he just went over to Alexander and told him everything. He didn't, he was scared that he would pick Eliza over him. He denied two wonderful people their chance to be happy only because he wanted happiness for himself.

Eliza was hurting, and Alexander was confused and torn in two... and John was blind to everyone else's emotions except his own. He doesn't deserve Alexander, he doesn't.

He walked over to his dorm room and quickly went to the bathroom, completely ignoring Alexander, but no on purpose. Once in the bathroom, he sat down on the floor and started thinking.

If he told Alexander now, there would be no problems, Alexander wouldn't be half as mad as he would be if Lafayette, Hercules, and Eliza told him. But he just couldn't bring himself to tell the truth. It was so easy, just walk out and tell him everything that has happened, oh wouldn't it be easy if he wasn't such a coward.

"John are you alright?" Alexander knocked on the door, and John jumped where he was. "You've been in there for half an hour..."

"I'm okay! Just... a bit constipated, that's all!" 'why did I say that!? He's gonna think I got ass problems now!'

"Oh, well, come out as soon as you can, okay, I thought you were like... hurt or something." Alexander sounded nervous, he never doubted on what he said so he definitely was nervous.

"I'm okay! Don't worry, Alexander!" said John, looking down to his hands.

"I'm going out and get some food, do you want anything?" said Alexander after a couple of minutes. "I'm going over to McDonald's."

"Some nuggets, I'll be fine." said John, and once he heard to the door of the dorm room be closed, he walked out and started dialing numbers, first, Lafayette, he acted like a child with him when all he wanted was to give John some advice, not a very long lecture.

Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
The person you're trying to call—

"Fuck! Lafayette just answer!" John said desperately, and dialed again.

Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
The person you're trying to call—

"C'mon Laf! I just want to apologize." he said getting worried, had he lost his friends? 'No, I haven't. He's probably just sleeping! I'll call Hercules.' He dialed Hercules's phone this time, who, with John's luck, picked up.

"John, what a surprise." his tone was dry, John tensed and gulped, he had really fucked up, right? "What do you want now?" John was going to answer, but he heard a 'who is it?' It was Lafayette, he had ignored John's call, that hurt him. "It's Laurens." said Hercules outside of the phone. "So? What do you want now?"

"I– I wanted to apologize. I acted like a jerk in the café. I should've just accepted the help instead of acting like an incompetent child..." John said, there was silence on the other line. "I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore,"

"John you were never our friend..." John felt like he was going to die right there and then, he knew it, who could ever– "You're like our little brother, always have been always will be, and brothers, well, of course the have their fallouts, but to be honest, is not us you should be apologizing too."

John sighed. "I know, I was planning on calling her after this call." he mumbled.

"You weren't very nice to her, acting as if her feelings didn't matter—"

"I know what I did Herc, and I regret acting like that, please don't remind me, you'll only make me feel worse." he mumbled looking down.

"Okay, but call her, okay?" said Hercules, all it took was a simple 'yeah' from John and the call was over. He opened the door and checked if Alexander wasn't close yet, he wasn't, he could go and call Eliza and talk about it.

He dialed her, and she quickly answered. "Hey, John..."

"Eliza! I'm so thankful you actually answered! Listen, I am so, so, so sorry for the way I discarded your feelings in all of this fucked up mess, in which the only one at fault is me, I just–"

"John we're both at fault..." Eliza interrupted. "We both could've told Alexander, but we didn't."

"You didn't told him because I begged you to stay silent. Eliza, you're definitely not at fault here. I'm at fault, for not telling him, and for totally discarding that you're also his soulmate, which, to be honest, there's is nothing worse than that." said John, there was silence in the line for a bit, John spoke up again. "I don't regret trusting you. I don't get along with girls, I only have like one friend that's a woman and that's Peggy, your sister... but if you'd give me the chance to be your friend again, I would like that, not even Alexander's decision would affect our friendship... I hope."

"John, I would love to... officially be your friend." she said and chuckled. The line went silent again, when Eliza spoke up. "Have you told him yet?"

"Eliza, it's not– it's not easy! How can I just go and tell Alexander that he has two soulmates!? 'Hey! Alexander guess what! All that confusion you were going through? Yeah you have two soulmates, Eliza and me! I just never had the balls too—"

"What!?!" John tensed. Alex. I guess McDonald's wasn't that full after all.

Okay so! I've gotten a request for Trans Alexander so I MAY do that when this one is over.
Also, do you like the cliffhanger? 😉
~Sarah🌼
(Go Read Pumkinet's Version of her own AU lmao)