Typical dumb Wattpad stereotypes

Two-- Routines

-I walk into my newly furnished bathroom, the white tile glistening with the fluorescent lights. I stepped into the shower, turning on the shower head as I waited for it to become warm before I began showering. Once the water was at the correct temperature, I squeezed a little of my vanilla scented shampoo into my arms as I lathered my body in it. Once I was finished, I took a bar of soap to continue washing myself.

Thank you for that useful information Emily! Thank you! I sooo didn't know how to shower, at all so thank you for that very, very descriptive paragraph on how to take a bath -.-

-Once I was finished showering, I wrapped myself in my fluffy purple towel that I had bought from the local Wal-Mart downtown with the money that I saved from working at the stripper joint I usually volunteered at every Saturday.

Once again, very useful information Emily, it shall surely come to great use the near future. Maybe I'll visit Wal-Mart and buy a towel too.

-I decided on wearing my cheetah leggings with my oversized orange sweater and worn converse which have a small hole near the toe for the right side. I pulled my wavy, waist length chestnut brown hair into a messy bun. I checked the time, pleased with the fact that I managed to finish since I wake up at six.

First of all Emily, do you blindfold yourself and randomly pick clothing or are you fashion impaired? And shoes with holes in them? Geez. You can totally have money to have a refurbished bathroom but not enough to buy a new pair of shoes -.-

Why is her hair most likely brown, why???? And why does it have to be wavy. No offence Emily but messy buns aren't the current trending hairstyles. Come on people think logically, she basically just decided to dress like a hobo and without even trying, she always gets the guy while those of us who put effort are left with nothing but our imagination.

And damn girl, six? On a Monday? You go!

-I quickly trampled down the steps into the kitchen.

How do you even have that much energy in the morning? And seriously, trampled? Why not just walk?

-I greeted my mom and then took a bite out of my toast before kissing her goodbye and rushing out the door as I grabbed my car keys before I was late.

There were so many things wrong with that one sentence.

1. One bite from a toast and you're okay? If I don't have breakfast I'd probably pass out before lunch.

2. I'm seriously looking for the part where you grab your BAG! Sure, grab the car keys and leave the school bag and somehow, she's a nerd with an impossibly high GPA.

3. And finally, you wake up at six, school starts at eight and yet still you're late when you clearly take a ten minute shower and judging from your fashion sense, you pick your clothes blindfolded which is basically a game of eenie-meenie-mini-mo so.....how are you even late kid?

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This chapter is dedicated to ddefenestration. Thanks for voting!