DISCLAIMER!!!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME SEX STUFFF!! BE WARNED!!
ITS NOTHING TOO VULGAR BUT IM WARNING YOU GUYS JUST IN CASE! !!
1. Blake and Emily are in a heated kiss and somehow they manage to strip down to their undies without breaking that kiss.
If that ain't some acrobatic shit I don't know what is.
2. Too much talking while having sex.
This just makes it so fucking awkward. I can't even explain the fucking cringe I make when these two idiots be having a long ass conversation while his plug is in her point. Like what the fuck?
"Blake I just love you so much and I can't even explain it but I really do. All these feelings are like a can of shaken soda that popped and i just cant even explain it. I just love you so much." Emily explains as Blake thrusts into her.
Like bitch....the fuck is wrong with you? How the hell do you manage to even say that much when this dude be slamming into you like a freaking roadway accident...
I just can't....
3. Too long foreplay
Sthappp! Just stop! I mean as readers we completely understand the need for foreplay before they actually do IT but really.....why so much dick sucking ........it's like I'm getting so bored when reading this shit I fell asleep before they even screw each other.
No baby love just no....don't do it.
Yes, foreplay is necessary and gets the readers hyped but dragging it along too much just kills that hype after awhile.
4. Too much sex.
Yes my Minions.....there is such a thing as touch sex in Wattpad.
Legit every chapter is about sex. I got so damn sick I was downright about to throw my phone out the window. The fact that the author's description of the book gave me a hype about the book made we want to give it a try only to be disappointed as fuck.
Like these two characters were like fucking each other every where.
In the mall bathroom.
In the boys bathroom
In the pool
At a funeral
At school
Everywhereereeeeeee!!!!
My reaction to their sex scenes was just "Oh...more sex."
*scroll*
5. Daddy kink.
I'm just scarred with this....like the fuck. Why bring your dad into your sex life!!!! Nooo!!!!
6. The need to announce when they are coming.
Why the fuckkkk!!! Uhgg.
"I'm coming Blake."
"Come for me baby."
It kinda annoys me.
7. Weird name calling.
He would literally slam her unto the bed and be like;
"You fucking slut! I know you wanted me to fuck you so bad."
I don't know about you guys or Emily but I'm soo offended by that name to be honest.
8. Animal sounds.
Growling
Whimpering
9. Authors who make the sex scenes seem like they going to Coney Island.
These authors mentions things like;
It was a joyful ride....one wrapped in euphoria and pure bliss.
Like what the fuck?
10. Misused adjectives
"My orgasm came in like a pack of hungry wolves, ripping apart my insides as I come undone."
I don't know if that's suppose to be a sex scene or a murder one.
-.-
11. Weird statements.
"The sound of his balls slapping against my ass turned me on."
Okay Emily...we see you.
"I massaged his balls with my tongue."
Ummm......k
12. Comment sections.
The comment section in sex chapters is like a whole other sex scene by itself.
Some readers just get real freaky in the comment sections......
13. Lines used in sex scenes.
'He slammed into me'
Sooo its a car accident then?
'He peppered my stomach with fiery kisses'
Umm do you need the fire extinguisher?
'I came undone'
Ohhh so like shoe laces?
'I cried out his name as my orgasm rushed in'
Oh come on, don't cry, he can't be THAT bad at it.
'I want you daddy'
*Hands over holy water*
14. That awkward moment when he asks her questions.
'What do you want me to do Emily?'
'I want you to touch me.'
'Where?'
*blushes*
'Dont make me say it.'
'I can't do anything unless you tell me.'
Like what the eff man. We all know what she wants. Stop being so weird and fucked up.
*
I TRIED TO COVER EVERYTHING BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SEMI RUSHED SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ITS LACK OF HUMOR😭
THANKS FOR READING! !!
AND DONT FORGET TO VOTE.
YOU ARE READING
Typical dumb Wattpad stereotypes
Random~Highest Ranking in Humor~ #43 12/9/2017 First Prize Winner of The Lunar Awards: October Genre-Awards:Humor I can't take it anymore ! Stupid dumb stereotypes are being used way too much in Wattpad books. I for one as an author am completely guilty o...
