Typical dumb Wattpad stereotypes

Thirty Three -- Muhahaha

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1. Cliche line used by the Villains;

- "Who are you?" I asked my voice trembling in fear.

"I'm your worst fucking nightmare." He sneered.

Who the fuck even says that anymore. It's like a fucking 60's movie.

2. That scene where the villains explains why they kidnapped the helpless romantic female character.

"Why are you doing this?"

"You ruined everything for me!" He sneered.

"I don't understand."

"It was three years ago today that I...."

I really don't get this. If your sole purpose of kidnapping was to blow her fucking brains off then why the fuck would you waste time. You are probably just giving the cops time to bust a cap in your Ass.

3. The cops always show up when every fucking thing is over. Like what the fuck is their purpose?

The moment she gets shot, then you hear the fucking sirens!

4. Usually, in these chapters, the word 'bitch' is used excessively.

I screamed loudly as he grabbed my wrist.

"Bitch, shut the fuck up you bitch! Your bitch ass boyfriend better come save you bitch! Maybe I could fuck you before I kill you bitch."

Maybe it adds some sort of dramatic effect or something. The wonders of wattpad.

5. The least suspected person is always the bad guy.

There would be a creepy guy with shades and a fucking winter coat in the summer following Emily Everywhere she goes.

And of course we all, as the readers suspect him.

When in reality all he was doing was tryna give her some money she dropped and then BAM, it was the fucking janitor all along.

Fucking shit!

It's always the janitors!

6. The secret that the guy was in a gang is revealed. 

Firstly, I don't know why but I always think the female character is a dumb bitch when she only realizes this when she is told by her kidnapper that the guy was in a gang.

All through the book, he is mysterious with the late nights, the gun she found under his bed, all the strange phone calls and let's not forget all the creepy guys with huge muscles and tattoos that always seem to pop up on their dates.

This, I don't get. It's like in every fucking teen fiction book man. He is in a gang and the leader kidnaps the girl so he can get what he wants and all he gets in the end is either jail or well, death.

7. This is always the best fucking scene for of course, the fucking coma. She gets shot and then BAM, a fucking coma. She gets a  surgery but the news is revealed that she is in a coma.

I still don't get why the fucking coma is necessary.

8.Might I add, it is totally disgusting that he sits by her bed for the three months she's asleep and doesn't shower or fucking eat, which is totally impossible.

And for some fucking reason, when she finally wakes up, they stare into each other's orbs and then kiss and instead of instant death by his horrid fucking smell, she kisses him, note, he hasn't brushed his teeth either!! 

And then they live happily ever after.

So basically, fuck all logic man!!

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So, sorry for not updating!!!

*Pleads for forgiveness*

But, I am giving you a double update, so yeeah!!

WE HAVE REACHED #326 IN HUMOR!!! YAY US!

Note, I say we because there would be no me without you, cheesy aren't I?

Excuse all typos, I was in a rush!