IN THIS SKIN -- CHICAGO FIRE

16;

  The next week went disappointingly fast. Shay had apologized to both Marley and Kelly, but everyone could see how different Shay was acting around everyone, and it was undoubtedly due to Devin. However, Marley enjoyed being at the firehouse, almost as much as she enjoyed not being in school. Deciding to study some before returning to school, Marley told Kelly that she was staying at home.

The day went by slower than usual, probably because she was alone rather than surrounded by people. She grew bored easy, and decided to log onto her FaceBook account. What she saw made her stomach turn. All over her profile picture were nasty comments about her glasses, her weight, her face and just her life in general. Her eyes widened as she frantically tried to remove the many comments, but there was over a hundred and she slowly gave up. She had Kelly and the others on facebook, and she knew they would see the comments. Wiping a tear she didn't know had fallen, she slammed her laptop shut and threw it against the wall, cringing as it smashed into pieces.

Marley sank to the floor sobbing. She had her head in between her knees and her arms around her knees. Sighing deeply, she stood up and wiped her eyes, making her way to her bathroom. She looked up, and stared at herself in the mirror. Hesitating, she reached into her mirrored cupboard and pulled out a small box, where she kept her razor blades. She opened the box and pulled a blade out. Her hand shook as she held it over her arm. With a pained cry, she threw the blade down the toilet. It had gone too far. She couldn't carry on.

She had no idea who to talk to about it. She knew she couldn't carry on cutting herself- her arms were already covered in scars and cuts and marks and she was ashamed of how badly she was coping. She couldn't face talking to Kelly, or Shay or Otis, because she lived with them, and she didn't want to put any pressure on anyone outside of the house because everyone has their own lives to deal with. A thought struck her, and she grabbed her phone.
"Marley?" The voice asked, sounded confused. Marley took a deep, shaky breath and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Can you come and get me please? I need to speak to you."

Within ten minutes, the door was being knocked at. Marley put the box into her pocket and walked to the door. Antonio's figure was awaiting her with a concerned frown on his face.
"Hey." Marley whispered. Antonio frowned deeper, seeing her red face and obvious tears in her eyes.
"Marley? What's happened?" He asked, pulling her into his chest and hugging her tightly. Marley broke down instantly and he shushed her.
"Can we go for a drive? Please?" She asked desperately. He nodded immediately and she followed him to his car. They drove for a little while, until he pulled into a carpark to a small diner. Antonio went to get out the car, but Marley grabbed his arm and he sat back inside and closed the door.
"What's going on sweetie?" He asked quietly. Marley cried again and she reached into her pocket.
"Promise me you won't hate me Antonio? Please? Everyone's going to hate me!" She cried.
"Marley, sweetie, you're really worrying me now babe. Noone's going to hate you, especially me." Taking a deep breath, she withdrew her hand from her pocket, bringing with her the small box. She threw it onto the dashboard of the car, and Antonio glanced at it. When she nodded towards it, he picked it up, hearing the sound of metal on metal and his heart sank. Lifting the lid, he saw several blades from razors and pencil sharpeners, and he shut it quickly.
"Marley let me see your arms." He stated firmly. Marley cried again.
"I knew you would hate me, I knew it." But she still lifted her sleeves up.

Antonio sighed when he saw the lines on her arms, some white scars and some angry red lines.
"Baby, some of these look infected. We need to go to the hospital." Hesitant but not wanting to argue, Marley nodded.
The drive to the hospital was quiet. Marley was scared Antonio was going to shout, and Antonio was scared Marley would jump out of the car when he told her he needed to call Kelly.
"Who knows about this Marls?"
"You. And some people at school." She mumbled.
"Teachers know?" When Marley shook her head, Antonio frowned. "Who at school knows then?"
"I have a reason for doing what I do, you know? And the people who caused this found out."
"People? You're being bullied?"
"I- I guess so."
"You guess so? Marley you either are or you're not!"
"WHY ARE YOU GETTING ANGRY WITH ME?! This is why I didn't say anything to anyone!" Marley shouted. Antonio sighed.
"I'm sorry Marley, I'm not getting angry with you, I'm angry that someone made you feel that low that you did this to yourself. I'm angry that I didn't spot it sooner." The hospital approached and he parked up. Marley scanned the scenery and her heart sank when she saw the familiar Ambulance 61 truck outside the doors.
"I- I can't go in there Antonio. I can't." Antonio saw the truck and sighed.
"Wipe your eyes, pull your sleeves down and come with me, if we see them, I'll say we were hanging out and I left my phone here."

Thankfully for Marley, they didn't bump into either Shay or Gabby. Antonio excused himself from the room when the doctor came in to assess her arms.
"You do this to yourself?" The young male doctor asked, meeting Marley's eyes. Marley didn't trust her voice, and just nodded. The doctor sighed.
"Look, I'm not going to stand here and say don't do it, because I know it's much harder than that. But there are healthy alternatives that don't involve self injury. But I do need to send you for a psych assessment." At this, Marley's eyes widened and she began to protest.
"I'm sorry, it's policy. I'd lose my job and your cop friend would get it done anyway." The doctor stated, after he'd cleaned her arm and bandaged it. Walking out of the room, he began to push someone back.
"Sir, sir, you can't come in here." Marley recognised this voice.
"Like hell I can't! That's my daughter!" Kelly shouted as he barged into the room, Antonio in tow.
"You called him?" She glared at Antonio accusingly and he raised his arms.
"I'm sorry Marley, it was either I call him or the hospital."
"Marley? Why didn't you tell me?" Kelly's voice broke.
"I thought you would hate me." Marley sobbed, launching herself into Kelly's arms,
"Oh baby, Marls, I could never hate you for something like this, ever, I'm just scared for you and worried. I love you so much baby."

A knock on the door interrupted the hug, and a nice looking female walked in carrying a clipboard.
"Marley Severide?" Marley nodded and the woman entered deeper.
"Hey, my name's Doctor Ashlee Fletcher, but everyone calls me Fletch. I work here at the hospital, helping teenagers like yourself out." The woman introduced.
"Would you two gentleman mind leaving the room whilst me and Marley have a little chat please?" Kelly began to protest.
"It's just procedure, we find children to be more honest when they're not around their parents."

Once Marley and Fletch were alone, she began to ask some questions.
"Okay, Marley. Tell me a bit about you."
"Erm, I'm 16, I live with my adopted dad and two others. They work for the CFD. I'm a cheerleader."
"Wow, I bet that's exciting! So you must be quite popular then, being a cheerleader and everything?" Marley threw caution to the wind and decided to be honest about everything.
"Not at all. I barely have one friend. Everyone hates me. I mean everyone too. My old best friend told me he hates me and the others post stuff on my facebook and they've been pushing me around. They totally hate me. I didn't understand why at first. But now I guess I do, because I totally hate me too. I'm a burden. Completely. I burden everyone. Kelly had a better life before he adopted me and the others that we live with never bring people round because I'm there, and everyone else who they work with must think I'm pathetic because I have panic attacks and they have to calm me down, and they don't want me around, and I cope by cutting but it doesn't fucking work anymore and I don't know what to do. Sometimes im happy and can laugh and tell jokes, and other days I just spend my time alone in my room, crying and cutting and wanting t0 be fucking dead!"

That was all Fletch needed to hear. She pulled Kelly aside and spoke quietly to him.
"Your daughter is showing signs of severe manic depression and an anxiety disorder. I know that this is a lot to take in, and it is overwhelming, but I think you should check this out." She said, as she handed him a leaflet for a place called LifeWorks.
"What.. What is this?"
"This is a place in Florida, that specializes in the treatment of depression and anxiety and her self injury addiction. I know it's a long way away, but I personally believe that sending her away for a while so she can sort her head out and get the help she so needs and deserves is the only way forward. And this is the best treatment centre for under 18s in the entire country." Kelly sighed, but he knew she did need help and he didn't know how to give it to her.
"You think this will help?" He asked, feeling like a child again.
"Yes, absolutely. I can call the owner immediately." Kelly sighed, but saw Marley staring blankly at the wall and saw the vacant expression and agreed.
"Okay. Yes. Do it."

The centre was awaiting her arrival in a days time, and Marley was still not aware. Kelly had called back at the firehouse to tell them what was going on.
"Sev! Where have you been?" Capp asked when he saw him.
"Family stuff. Look, I need to talk to everyone, go into the common room for me?"
Once the entire firehouse had gathered, Kelly ran a hand through his hair.
"Look, this may come as a shock, because I was shocked too, but Marley has been diagnosed with manic depression, and an anxiety disorder." His voice cracked, the shocked expressions on everyone's faces told him he wasn't alone in the disbelief.
"What?" It was Herrman who had spoken up.
"Yeah, she called Antonio earlier today in tears and he took her out for a bit and she gave him a box, or something, and she's been... hurting herself, so he took her to the hospital and called me and that's when I found out."
"Can we see her? Is she here?" Peter asked, glancing around. Kelly shook his head.
"Listen, I know you might hate me for this, and she will too, but the doctors have told me about an inpatient treatment centre that they think she needs, and I've agreed to it. She's leaving tomorrow."
"What? Leaving? Where to?" Gabby asked, wiping a tear away.
"The centre's in Florida. Her flight is tomorrow morning. Someone's flying over now and is going to take her back with them."
"Does she know?" Herrman asked. Kelly shook his head slowly.
"I didn't know how to tell her." Herrman sighed deeply.
"How much is this going to cost you?" Now Kelly sighed.
"1 month is $10,000. They think she might need around 6 months." The entire firehouse went silent at this.
"It's costing $60,000 to help our baby?" Shay asked. Kelly nodded again.
"That's not important, I'd pay $600,000 if it meant she was okay again. I have savings, the money doesn't matter. But when shift is over, if you want to see her before she leaves, we're allowed to take her home. I know you have work at Molly's but-"
"Screw Molly's Kelly. Marley always comes first. We'll be there." Herrman stated. Gabby and Otis agreeing with him.
"Thank you, all of you. If you don't mind, I'd like you all there when I tell her?"

The night arrived and Kelly was in the car with Marley, driving back to their apartment.
"We gotta talk about something later, okay baby?" Kelly told Marley. She glanced at him, and nodded.
"Okay."
Walking up the steps, Marley felt uneasy. She could sense that something was off with Kelly and she was nervous that he was going to tell her he hated her. Marley walked into the apartment first and when she pressed the light switch, the members of firehouse 51 and Antonio and Jay were lit up.
"Surprise!" They all yelled, and Marley laughed.
"What's all this for?" She asked, smiling slightly. Kelly's smile dropped and the sense of excitement left the room immediately.
"Sit down sweetie." Kelly instructed, and Marley sat in the seat between Herrman and Capp.
"You're scaring me now. What's going on?" Herrman took Marley's hand in his, and stroked it with his thumb to calm her down.
"I was speaking with your doctor today, and we decided the best way for you to get better is for you to go somewhere where they can look after you 24/7. Because I can't offer that to you, and it's what you need." Marley raised an eyebrow.
"Okay? But I don't need 24/7 care."
"Marley, baby, you told the doctor you spend some days happy and other days trying not to kill yourself. I still love you, more than anything in the world, but you need help. And I've made my decision sweetie." Marley wanted desperately to fight with him on this, but she could see how hard he was taking this and decided to make life more bareable.
"Okay. When do I leave?" She asked. Kelly put his head in his hands.
"Your flight is tomorrow." Her eyes widened.
"Flight? How far am I going?" She tried to control her voice but it shook regardless.
"Florida."
"FLORIDA?! Kelly that's over 18 hours away!"
"I know baby. But it's for the best." Marley sighed, trying to focus on anything but the fact that she was leaving tomorrow.

It reached midnight and Marley was tired, but she didn't want anyone to leave yet. Herrman noticed her yawning and waved her over to the seat next to him.
"Hey sweetie. How are you?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into him.
"I'm okay. Nervous, but okay. I'm sorry, that I didn't tell you sooner." She mumbled, closing her eyes.
"It's okay kid. We all just want you to be better. You don't have to apologise for anything at all."

Marley fell asleep quickly, and everyone decided to stay so they could say goodbye to her in the morning.

The 6 months with her gone were going to be unbelievably hard for everyone, but it was worth it if it meant Marley would be back to her old self again.