I Don't Deserve You (A Jamilton College AU)

Chapter 5: Bad Breakups

Night updates! When you gotta study to try to pass a class...

~~~

To Thomas: meet me outside the apartment now

Alex was on his way to his room. He was going to get Thomas out of the room, so it'd be easier to get him out. As he approached the room, he saw Thomas giving him a confused look.

“James texted me, what's wro-”

Alexander interrupted him with a kiss. It would be the last kiss he’d ever have, so he wanted it to be with the one person he truly loved with all of his heart. The kiss lasted a while, a long while. But eventually he had to let go. He couldn't get carried away after all.

“Alex?” Thomas looked at him concerned.

“Thomas...I love you with all my heart,” Alex looked up at his boyfriend. He could feel tears trying to break free. “I love you...really, but...I want to break up.”

“Alex, babe, you're kidding, right?” Thomas asked confused.

“No, I'm serious! I'm done with relationships! All I do is ruin trust and friendships and Thomas, honestly, you deserve much better than me.”

“Stop this! Whatever this is, it's not funny!”

“I'm sorry, it's over.” Alexander walked into his room and shut the door locking it in the process.

“Alex! Come on, let me in! Don't push me away! I love you!” Thomas plead.

Alexander cried on the other side of the door. He knew Thomas would plea and cry desperately for as long as he could, but he would not cave in this time. He refused to hurt Thomas again, even if it meant hurting himself.

~~~

To Alex: mon petit lion, what have you done to Thomas?

To Alex: he is over in our apartment crying his eyes out because he says you broke up with him.

To Alex: idk what is going on, but you need to be a man and fix this.

To Alex: I know you're reading this. Answer this phone.

To Alex: if you don't text me back right now, I'm going to call you.

……

To Alex: I'm calling now.

Alexander’s phone rang...and rang...and rang until it got to voicemail.

“Alexander, what the f**k is your problem?” In the background, Alex could hear Thomas sobbing. He must've been in Lafayette’s arms. Alex only cried harder. “I'm sending Herc over now! You better open the door for him, or you can kiss our friendship goodbye!”

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“Alex? It's Herc,” the voice said. “Laf sent me over to, uh, talk to you. Can you let me in?”

Alexander did nothing. He didn't deserve friends like Lafayette and Hercules. Like he said, he was done with relationships, and he meant all relationships.

“Alexander, I will break down this door if you don’t answer it. I’m serious,” Hercules threatened.

Still, the immigrant didn’t budge. Soon, he heard loud thumps on his door. The Irishman was trying to break down the door. He would have to pay for that door, but at the moment, Alexander wouldn’t move from his spot on the floor. It took a couple of tries, but after the tenth thump, Hercules was in Alex’s room. He was about to yell at Alexander, but seeing the state he was in, he softened a little.

“Alexander? Hey, I know I’m supposed to be on Jefferson’s side for this, but...are you okay?” Hercules asked concerned.

Alex said nothing. He only continued sitting there, crying his eyes out.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hercules carefully walked over to Alex. When the quiet sobbing didn’t cease, Hercules figured he would have to calm him down before he could get any answers. He sat on the ground next to Alex and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. “It’s okay, calm down.”

After about an hour and a half of constant comfort and crying, Alexander finally calmed down to the point that he could talk without sobbing.

“Ready to tell me what’s wrong?” Hercules looked at Alex, who was still wiping his tears.

“I broke up with Thomas,” Alex looked down sadly.

“I knew that when he ran to our apartment blubbering about it. If it’s causing you such heartbreak, why would you break up with him?”

“Because I don’t want to cause him any more pain than he already has to bear with being with me,” Alex looked up at Hercules. “I want to get rid of all of my relationships. All I do is cause everyone pain.”

“Alex...where is all of this coming from?” Hercules asked confused. “Dude, you are a great friend and you can work on being a better boyfriend, but just because you make a mistake, doesn’t mean that Thomas doesn’t love you. Nobody’s perfect.”

“I don’t deserve good friends or a great boyfriend. I’m just a no-good, lying, cheating, disgusting, despicable, wh**e!”

“Whoa...Alex, who told you that?” Hercules asked concerned. “Whoever said that is wrong.”

“But she’s right! How will Thomas...how will I know that I won’t cheat on him again!?”

“Did Angelica roast you again today?”

“No...it was Eliza.”

“Eliza said that? Alex, you can’t listen to anything The Schuyler Sisters say. They are still salty about what happened last year and will do anything to try to tear you down. Alexander, Je-Thomas chose to get back together with you because he loves you and he forgives you. Now, he may not want you back in his life for now. You really hurt him, more than before.”

“I know I have no chance at a relationship without ruining it, so I’m done. Thomas deserves someone better. Someone he can trust. Someone with less drama in their life. Someone that isn’t me. You and Lafayette shouldn’t even be my friends. I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Alex, shut up with that s**t, okay? I will always be your friend,” Hercules squeezed Alex to reassure him. “Now, when you hurt Thomas, you hurt Lafayette, so I can’t speak for him, sorry. You know how Laf holds a grudge.”

Alexander sniffled and hugged Hercules back. Even though he didn’t want any relationships with anyone, he was glad Hercules was stubborn enough to not follow through with his plans. At least he would have one friend in this new life he would be living.

“Thank you, Herc...for sticking with me,” Alexander said quietly.

“Hey, through good times and bad times, I will always be your best friend...that’s what best friends are for,” Hercules rubbed circles around Alex’s back. “Everything will be okay. We’ll get over this, together.”

“Yeah...together,” Alex agreed and they stayed like that for the rest of the night.

~~~

(1107 words)

Welp, that happened! I'm really tired so I'm gonna hit the hay. Love you all! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did, please leave a vote or comment and I will see you all on Friday! Bye!